Golf Digest, which you would normally have to pin my eyes open “Clockwork Orange” style to ever get me to try to read, put out their latest issue on newsstands this morning.
If you open your window and listen VERY closely, you can probably hear, right NOW, the editor at Golf Digest being fired for not being able to pull this month’s cover story, or at least change the cover, before the issue was released to the public.
“10 Tips Obama Can Take From Tiger”???????
Are you kidding me?
Now, I haven’t read the issue yet, but let me take a wild stab at this one…..
1) If you have a net worth of roughly $500 million, don’t have your wife sign a pre-nup if you are gonna start banging other chicks.
2) Its probably not a good idea to indulge in too much sexting with other women.
3) Keep your golf clubs safetly locked away when not in use.
4) When being attacked by a jealous wife running at you with a 9-Iron while you are pulling out of the driveway, remember to check your blind spots!
5) Leaving incriminating phone messages telling girls that you are going to “wear them out” might not be in your best interest.
6) There aren’t too many lucrative endorsement deals out there for “Golfer/Horn Dog”.
7) If you just HAVE to screw around, make sure the girls you pick aren’t models/reality stars craving media attention.
8) Issuing a public statement saying “These allegations are totally untrue”, and then issuing a second statement 48 hours later saying “Hey, I fucked up!” makes you look like a douche-cake.
9) Sometimes, when you are being chased in your SUV by a pissed-off white woman with a golf club, trees can kind of sneak up on you. Look out!
10) If you are rich, famous, and just want to bang a lot of chicks, you probably should think twice about getting married in the first place.
And let’s not forget the OTHER great articles that are apparently included in this issue.......
“How to Outsmart your buddies”?
“Load it and Let it Go!”
Seriously, I need to stop now….. they are making it way too damn easy for me.
GOT THE RIGHT DAY TODAY
3 hours ago