Thursday, December 24, 2009

The Last Avatar Review You'll Ever Read

Oh, I'm such a crafty little bugger.

While the WHOLE ENTIRE Interwebs have been posting nothing but Avatar reviews this week, bombarding you with the basically the same thing over and over again, what do I go and do?

I quite ingeniously turn it all up on its ear, and decide to post NOTHING at all this week, even though Earlsy and I saw Avatar OPENING morning!

I've sat here all week revelling in the thought of all of you, visiting here every 10 minutes, every day, all week, waiting to see my review of this movie. My web stats must be through the roof! MUHAHAHAH!

Anyway, I'll TRY to get past my incredible marketing strategy know-how and get to what I actually thought of the movie.

First off, if you can stomach shelling out $16 bucks like i did, i would highly recommend seeing it in IMAX 3-D. More than any other movie i have ever seen in my life, the movie just feels .... alive. I really don't know how to put it any better than that. I pretty much sat through the entire film in awe of the technology, and how immerse the jungle planet of Pandora looked on screen. From the ambient noises, to the constant barrage of flies buzzing past my head in all their 3-D glory, the world just felt real, and i felt like i was in the middle of it.

Simply speaking, technology-wise, it is the most impressive movie ever made. This film probably makes George Lucas want to gouge his eyes out, since, on so many levels, this film does what Lucas strived so hard to do with his last three Star Wars films.

Make no mistake though, Avatar isn't the next "Godfather". The story is actually kinda hokey, and some dialogue bordered on the cringe worthy. But then again, if you are shelling out $16 to see this movie in Imax 3-D, you probably aren't overly concerned with the story.

The last thing i want to say is that, while it may sound contrary to what i wrote above, i am generally NOT a fan of copious CGI in a film. No matter how good the computer effects are, I still find them slightly fake, and would still much rather see a movie using the old-school "real" special effects. The aliens in this movie, while looking leaps-and-bounds better than any previous movie CGI characters(take THAT, Jar-Jar Binks!), still looked stiff to me. I guess I'm just an old fogey at heart when it comes to movie effects.

Anyway, that's my review. I'd give the movie a solid 3 Stars..... 4 stars for the effects, and 2 stars for the story.

If i don't get to put up another post before tomorrow (and who am i kidding, we all know i won't), HAPPY HOLIDAYS, everyone!

16 comments:

Bruce said...

Basically...........DITTO....I agree with everything you wrote here.

(any film that holds my attention for 2 hours and 30 minutes with no intermission, has to be pretty entertaining.)

B.E. Earl said...

You forgot to mention all the gay stuff you tried to pull on me during the film. Get it? Pull.

Mrs. Holly Hall said...

Merry Christmas to you and your family Slyde!!

And yes, I do believe this will be the last avatar review I will ever read-you did that good of a job!! :)

sybil law said...

Happy Holidays!!!!!!!!!!

Dr Zibbs said...

It rocked. I convinced 2 people to see it so far.

Evil Twin's Wife said...

The trailers for the movie even look incredible, but we always wait for the DVD to come out....

Merry Christmas to you and your family!

Shania said...

I read somewhere that it's too intense for the under 10 set. True? Silas really wants to see it and he actually has the attention span to make it the entire two and a half hours, but I don't want to traumatize the kid. What's your opinion?

Slyde said...

shania: i honestly dont think it would be a problem for someone around that age... i dont recall any bad language, and theres no nudity. There really isnt even too much violence until the final battle... if your son can stand still for 3 hours in a theatre (mine cant), i'd say go for it!

Real Live Lesbian said...

You guys never invite me to do the fun stuff.

There's no nudity? Count me out.

Wishing you and yours a wonderful Christmas Day going through that pile of presents!!!

Chris H said...

MERRY CHRISTMAS DUDE.. hope your wee boy has a wonderful visit from Santa. Oh and YOU too!

Michelle said...

Merry Christmas Slyde.

Gotta see Avatar soon!!

Vinomom said...

This is the first Avatar review I've read, and pretty much what I expected. I just cringe at the thought of spending 70 billion dollars just to make a movie, though.

meleah rebeccah said...

I have to agree 100% with what you wrote here. I did like the effects much more than the actual plot!

Meghan said...

Merry Belated Christmas Slyde. Thanks for the review. I trust your opinion :)

Nej said...

I've been trying to decide if I want to go. If I do, it will be the IMAX 3D....but at 17 bucks a pop, I've been hesitating.

But, I have to admit, the special effects are calling my name.

Not literally, of course. Because that would be weird. :-)

Being Brazen said...

I LOVED avatar...saw it in 3-D too. Great film.