Friday, November 06, 2009

Slyde’s Pet Peeve # 7 – The Pop-In

Oooooooh, I am primed and ready to BLOW over this one, folks.

I cannot fucking STAND it when people just assume they can ring my bell unannounced to just stop in and say “Hi!”

It drives me fucking batty, and right now I am suffering from a chronic offender.

My son plays with this little girl around the block from us. Let’s call her “Lulu”. I don’t know WHY the Hell I’m using a fake name… it’s not like Little Lulu is ever going to come here and read this shit, but whatever.

Lulu’s parents (Mr. Lulu and Mrs. Lulu) are nice enough people. A little weird for my tastes, but nice enough. The kids go to school together, had T-ball together, and enjoy each other’s company enough that I am routinely thrown into the presence of the Lulu clan.

Anyway, sometime over the summer, I began to notice a disturbing trend. Anytime that the Lulu’s would walk past my home, they would feel the need to stop, ring the bell, and say “Hi”. They would do this every time they walked past the house.

Every. Fucking. Time.

Towards the end of the Summer, it was happening 2-3 times a week.

11am on a Sunday morning. 8 o’clock at night. Dinner time. It really didn’t seem to make any fucking difference to the Lulu’s. If they saw my house, they felt a pop-in was warranted.

It used to drive me FUCKING livid!

It had gotten so bad that I finally wanted to tell them off, but Friz held me back, not wanting me to make a scene, since our kids were good friends, and the Lulu’s are basically decent enough folk.

But c’mon, people! Get a fucking clue! If you ring my bell, and ask me “Hey, what’s going on?”, and I reply “We’ll, we’re actually having dinner”, shouldn’t you have the fucking COMMON SENSE to say “Oh, I’m sorry. Enjoy your dinner, we’ll come back another time”.

No, not the Lulu’s. I can’t even count the number of summer nights where I was forced to sit on the porch for 15 minutes, bullshitting with these people about ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NOTHING, while my dinner was getting cold.

Near the end of the summer, they must have FINALLY gotten the hint that I wasn’t enjoying their company. The pop-ins started to drop off dramatically, finally ending completely around Labor Day.

Until this week.

After severing pretty much ALL ties with them, we were FORCED to get together with the Lulu’s this past weekend, when the kids decided that they all wanted to Trick or Treat together this year (Little Lulu is actually present in the pictures in my last post).

It went uneventfully enough. The kids had a good time, and I kept the small talk to a minimum, lest these people would once again think that I wanted to be their buddy.

Hey, guess what the Lulu’s did to me the next day, ON SUNDAY FUCKING MORNING?

If you DIDN’T guess “They rang my doorbell for another fucking pop-in”, then you are pretty stupid, because that’s exactly what they fucking did.

So, now I feel like I’m back to square one with the Lulu’s.

I swear that if the Perfect Storm of Pop-ins begins anew, I will seriously break someone’s damn arm.

Do oblivious neighbors do this kind of shit to anyone else?


terri said...

We have neighbors who pop in, but none so rude that they would stay even when we say we're eating dinner.

I would just stop answering the door. For all they know, you're in the shower, or down the basement and didn't hear them ringing... it's worth a try.

Anonymous said...

Yeah - what Terri said. I have no problem with the pop-in (from neighbors, friends, etc.), but part of the territory is you know when you pop in, you're not assured of the person being free, necessarily.

Eating dinner, certainly, is a reason to not have an extended pop-in visit.

Although, clearly, you being Italian is just BS. A true Italian would invite the guests in for dinner............

Chris H said...

That would drive me totally ballistic mate! DONT ANSWER THE FRIGGIN DOOR, and make it obvious you are home so they get the message.

Suzi Q said...

We have a neighbour who used to come over quite regularly. He'd ring the door bell, LET HIMSELF IN, then made himself comfortable on the couch and stayed for a half hour. Finally I just started closing the blinds and locking the door as soon as I got home from work and then if he rang the bell I wouldn't answer. He still usually pops in when he sees we have people over. Like hi, we have company, that doesn't mean you are invited too.

Verdant Earl said...

This is the pot calling the kettle black.

Let me tell you all a story about a much younger Slyde from back in the day.

One Saturday morning while I was recovering from a hangover and my apartment was an absolute mess, Slyde and his girlfriend at the time (not Friz) decide to "pop-in" unannounced. I don't recall the reason, maybe they were just in the neighborhood. So my doorbell rings and I grudgingly make my way to the door in my jammies and I see Slyde and his woman on my steps waiting to be invited in.

I made it plainly obvious with glaring looks at him that they were not welcome. I even had to clear away some dirty laundry for his girlfriend so she could sit down on the couch. After about 5 minutes he caught on and they left but I never let him forget it. And he never lets me forget it. Claiming that I was a "psycho" for being pissed at him for the pop-in.

I'm happy to see that he finally understands.

Bruce Johnson said...

We inadvertently found a cure for this......really big frickin dogs. We have 3 of them, and if you come to our door unannounced, (while the dogs are lounging in the living room) and ring our doorbell, you are going to get 200lbs of dog all over your ass, trying jump on you and lick you.....tends to discourage people from coming over unless they have an appointment.

justsomethoughts... said...

i cant say i envy you.
next time, hide in the bedroom.

Slyde said...

earl: you sir, remain an ass.

1st: it wasnt a pop in. we HAD ARRANGED TO HANG OUT THAT DAY, YOU DICK! I just showed up about a half hour early.

2nd: That was the only time i EVER SHOWED UP EARLY.

Still making such a sissy stink, 15 YEARS LATER, marks you as quite the poof....

latindog said...

You are an anti-social dude, Slyde.

Verdant Earl said...

Slyde - Oh, I beg to differ. We may have had plans to meet up that day but you didn't tell me you were bringing your latest conquest. A quick heads-up and I would have been fine with it. It's all about boundaries. Like, um, with the Lulus. Get it?

Susan Higgins said...

Nope. I have one very annoying neighbor. I made the mistake of buying girl scout cookies from her kid last year. I didn't need them. I ate all of them and gained freaking 20 pounds!

Over the summer she had one of those "come to my house and buy shit you don't need" parties. I was invited and threw the invite in the trash. I didn't want to go.

One Saturday when working in the front yard, reseeding the lawn, heavy machinery running, this woman pulls up and rolls down her window.

My husband, being nice, tries to get me to shut off the roto-tiller. No way... I start yelling over the machine... "No, I won't be coming."

Hubby had no idea what she was saying but knew I knew.

When she walks by my house to get her kids at the bus stop at the end of the street, I put my head up and give her a nod.

Waving would be too much of an invite to her to talk to me.

So, my advice... tell them you are not interested in being friends. You can do it in a nice way... maybe readers of yours can give you ideas on how to politely tell them to fuck off!

Artful Kisser said...

What a pair of arseholes. I bet the Lulu's are swingers and you're just not getting the hint.

We're lucky we don't have any nosey parkers in our street. Everyone has an unspoken understanding that we only ever catch up if we see each other getting in/out of our cars. Often ends up in a street party of people from 8-12 houses.

Shania said...

This, my friend, is why I live in the woods.

With really big dogs.

Anonymous said...

It's the dumb parents, the kid is only being very friendly, and probably thinks you like her visits.

But I can see why it's fucking annoying.

sybil law said...

I'm pretty much a bitch (I know, you're shocked, right?), so people don't do that to me. However, my house is kid central and kids are coming over to play with my daughter ALL the time.
Note to self: be a bigger bitch to the kids.

AlleyCat Runs said...

I'm with Chris H. AND I'm posting you a DO NOT DISTURB sign to hang on your front door.

Mebe they think you & Friz are HAWT!!!

Mrs. Hall said...

no time to read all the comments but


hee hee hee, that's funny coming from the nudie swimming neighbor ;)

I suggest this, they are coming over irregardless and you can't stop them because life is not about you but the mini me and his enjoyment of the LuLu.

so, next time the parent's 'drop in' say, "Now's not a good time but why don't you come over x or y and we can chat while I clean out the garage, mow the lawn, wash windows. Or why don't you stop back tomorrow, say around x or y, when I have more time to chat."

That way you are in control of when they stop over. Because THEY ARE NOT GONNA STOP STOPPING OVER unless you tell them to. And you can't because mini me like Lulu.

so there ya go!

and lighten up dude. It's only 15 minutes out of a 24 hour day.

ok peace out. I'll be stopping by tomorrow with Mr. Hall and the kids. Then I'll make some excuse so you can watch the kids while Mr. Hall and I sneak off for a weekend away.

wait, did I just say that out loud?

hee hee hee

The Peach Tart said...

ignore the ring a few times and perhaps they will get the message

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James said...

Bothering people on a Sunday morning that is too weird.....why can't they just have sex then like everybody else.

Expat No. 3699 said...

I have the same problem, but its my parents that stop by unannounced. I've asked them to call first; I've even told them that they might be interrupting my husband and I having sex. They just don't get it.

Faiqa said...

This bothers me, too. I like to know when people are coming over, too.

Next time they come over just say, "I am SO glad to see you, but I really have to go, is it important?"

Then, they'll say, "No, we just blah blah" and then you say, "Then get the FUCK off my porch."

I should start an advice column.

Anonymous said...

Remember when Slyde used to respond, personally, to each person that took the time to comment on the drivel he vomited out and called "content?"

Those were the days....

Verdant Earl said...

Lemur - we all know Slyde's been mailing it in for months now on this blog. He just doesn't care about us anymore. Sniff.

Unknown said...

Answer the door is tighty whiteys with a cleaver and fake blood. Bam. No more unannounced Lulu.

Tamara said...

We have neighbours (they are true Italians, actually), who pop over to our house as though we're the local convenience store (she often comes in her bathrobe). They ask for herbs out my garden, baking powder and assorted other things. Last time, the man actually came over to borrow one of TSC's tools and ended up asking TSC to do the odd job for him. Once, we had gone for a walk when they popped in. So she called me on my mobile and asked when we'd be home so they could come around then!

Drives me nuts.

P Tomasko said...

Careful there or you may end up withthese folks as in-laws one day.

GiGi said...

My neighbors just do annoying shit, like leave their sprinklers on too long, so the water drains into our yard....oh, and they also own annoying, loud ass dogs...the drop-ins...not so much. I'll take those over a howling beagle in the middle of the night any day!

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Michelle said...

Good luck with the LuLu's of the world that have no clue. There are a lot of LuLu's out there!!!!


Candy's daily Dandy said...

I am a magnet for the LuLu's of the world...only they don't come to my house, they come to my store and drone on and on and I have nothing better to do than listen to their shit.

I have two such offenders that come to mind. One-spends money each time she's there, so I'll listen to her till I've had quite enuff.
The other- not a dime and is always looking for a freebie. She's got to GO!!!

Vinomom said...

We just have one psycho neighbor that is in her yard 24/7 and will say innappropriate things about vaginal mucus in front of company when you have a memorial day cookout.

I'm not making that shit up.

Got a good laugh out of your post. Thanks for that.

Nej said...

I used to have a friend that stopped by unannounced ALL THE TIME. I stopped answering the door. After that, she would sit in MY driveway in her car and call me. I stopped answering the phone.

Now, before you think I'm horrible, I did answer the door and the phone sometimes....just not every time.

It wasn't that I didn't want to do something with her...but a little notice would have been good. A pop in every once and a while is ok...but after day....

Cocaine Princess said...

I SO HATE that too. Where are peoples' common sense and manners? Once maybe is okay but twice is a definite no-no in my book. You need a security cam by your front door.

P.S. Love the label for this post.

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Jill said...

That's funny, because just today I was thinking that was the problem with having moved to the suburbs - no one just pops in. Still, if there's dinner on the table there's no way. I wouldn't even answer the phone.

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