I was at work, and it was towards the end of the day. I was on our basement level, and needed to go back up to the first floor.
Being the sneaky bastard that i am, i never want to wait for the slow-as-fuck regular elevators in my building, so i always hit the call button for the speedy freight elevator. I've been doing this for years.
I probably shouldn't have done it last week.
I knew i was in trouble as soon as the doors closed.
I cant explain it, but they closed..... funny.
Listen, Ive been in this building for 15 years now and one of the ONLY things I've learned in all that time is how the elevators close, and trust me, this time the doors closed funny.
But, not thinking too much of it, i pressed "1".
Then i pressed "1" again. And again. Followed quickly by panicked presses of "2" "3" and "4".
After a minute or so, i tried to pry open the door to the emergency phone, but it was either stuck, or just wielded shut.
So, i stood there for a minute, thinking about my situation.
It was late in the day, most people had gone home already, i had no cell phone, and no one in the world knew i was down in the basement.
It's amazing how fast your mind can go into panic mode in a situation like that.
Fortunately, my superior intellect took charge, and i remembered that aside from being the hottest hunk ever to walk the planet, i also happen to possess the body of a Greek God.
I wedged my fingers into the door seams and began to pry the doors apart for all they were worth. The doors were indeed heavy mother fuckers, but fortunately for me, my massive biceps are even HEAVIER mother fuckers.
After about 5 minutes, i was able to pry the doors open enough to shimmy myself out.
The scary thing is, for the last minute or so, when i really began to think that i wasn't going to be able to get the doors open, the thing that kept running through my mind was the story shown in the video below.
The video was all over Youtube a few years ago. It shows the true story of one poor schlub who, while working one Friday night in 1999, decided to use the elevator in his building in NYC to go downstairs to take a smoke break. He got stuck and stayed in that elevator for 41 hours, until a security guard let him out Monday morning.
I remember years ago when i watched this surveillance camera video of the ordeal, i got the chills, thinking, "Holy shit, what if that happened to me?". I'm not claustrophobic or anything, but i DO believe that 41 hours in an elevator would have sent me to the loony bin.
Plus, if that had been me, I'm pretty sure the world would now have video footage of me masturbating in an elevator.
p.s. Sorry I've been AWOL for the past week. I took a few days off from work and, as you all know, when I'm not working, I'm not blogging. Sorry, but that's just how it is. I love you all, but not QUITE as much as World of Warcraft.