Friday, October 16, 2009

Women Are Frustrating

Why do you chicks NEVER admit when you do something wrong? Why is it more fun to just string people along, letting me play Sherlock Holmes to PROVE you are wrong before you fess up?

Exhibit A (last night)

I was using Outlook on my computer to check my emails, then I went downstairs for a bit. Then I saw Friz going into the office to use the computer. When I asked her what she was doing, she said that she was going to use the computer to pay some bills.

I returned to my computer about 10 minutes later. Friz was gone. When I attempted to open up Outlook again, it informed me that my password is no longer valid.

What the hell?

Clearly, Friz did “something”.

So, I went downstairs to talk with her about it.

“What did you do on the computer?”

“What do you mean? I didn’t do anything”

“Of course you did. I saw you using it”

“Yeah, I paid our cable bill”

“You had to have done something else. Did you change our password?”

“No! Why would I do that?”

“I have no idea, but SOMEONE just did!”

“Well, I don’t know why you always blame me for these things. I didn’t do it”

“Just tell me everything you did”

“I told you, I just paid our bill. I don’t know WHY you can’t log in to the email anymore”

“You have NO idea?”

“None”

“Ok, after you paid the bill, did you do anything else?”

“---------------“

“Hello?”

“Why don’t go upstairs and try to log in using the password “Simbah”” (that’s our cat’s name)

“Why the Hell would I try Simbah? That’s not my password!”

“Just try it”

“Why? What the Hell did you do?”

“Well, I was trying to update our voicemail message, and they asked me to change the password, but all I did was try to change the password for voicemail, not email. And anyway, it didn’t work.”

“WHY FOR FUCK’S SAKE WOULDN’T YOU TELL ME THAT IN THE FIRST PLACE? YOU SAID YOU DID NOTHING! CHANGING A PASSWORD IS NOT NOTHING!!!”

“Why are you yelling like an idiot?”

“Because I just got the runaround for 15 minutes, with you telling me you did “nothing”, when in fact you did the exact fucking OPPOSITE of “nothing”! You OBVIOUSLY changed the WRONG password!”

“Maybe I did. Sorry”

“Sorry? That’s it? Why did you put me through all this?”

“I don’t know, jackass. Why don’t you go and pay your OWN bills?”

Because, you know, WHO pays the bills is the whole fucking point of not giving me all the information up front, so I am forced to sleuth around like fucking COLUMBO until I ask the right interrogation questions to get the answer I need!

You know, if you chicks weren’t all soft and curvy and smelled so nice, I’d swear off the lot of you forever……

29 comments:

Vinomom said...

Heheheh That is FUNNY. Don't act like you men don't have your own ways to torture us with shit like this.

Mrs. Holly Hall said...

Yeah, I agree with your wife. She didn't change the password on the email so really, she wasn't being complicated. You weren't asking her the right questions.

NOW

There is no cause for yelling and getting all huffy. The woman worked very hard today. AND CAME HOME THEN paid the cable bill!

I suggest getting her some tea, giving her a back rub and drawing her a bath. Telling her that you'll put mini me to bed. She deserves some rest.

AND WHY DO THIS????

Cause she lets you touch her boobies.

That's all I'm saying ;)

Paige Stanton said...

Oh lordy you make me laugh. And I agree 100% with Mrs. Holly Hall!

B.E. Earl said...

I assume this is another one of those "you're turning gay" posts.

Just step out of the closet already, dude.

The Peach Tart said...

maybe she'll make it up to you tonight

mo.stoneskin said...

Bwahahahahaha I know your password. Now all I need to do is find out your real name and address, and then wait about in the bushes till you're all out and then...

The mind of a woman is a bit like a TV remote with no batteries in it. You push the buttons, but nothing happens. The key is to put the batteries in, metaphorically of course, shoving a battery in your missus' eye will not help things. Normally this involves sleuthing about like you just demonstrated.

~The South Dakota Cowgirl~ said...

This post made me giggle profusely and reminded me of my mom and dad. Dad is an engineer. Mom is a teacher. she is the least technologically inclined person I know and they are forever having discussions just like the one described above!

justsomethoughts... said...

soft and curvy.
there is no other reason. but that is reason enough.
you might as well face it you're addicted to...

sybil law said...

I don't get it.
:)

2abes said...

I thought you already swore them off!

Bina said...

Whoa Mister. Slow down! I admit when I'm wrong! I swear to God I do! And I'm soft and curvy and have a tight ass. That must account for something, right?

teeni said...

ROFLMAO! It's true - you didn't ask the right questions. ;)

Hi Slyde! Hope you are doing well!

Steph said...

Soft, curvy, smell nice... You need more than that? Dude, become a lesbian! ;)

Melanie said...

wow... that cleared up so much for me... sorta.

happy weekend!

debi_in_Hawaii said...

Luckily, most of us are a helluva lot softer and curvier than that. Damn. Eat a bigmac or something. With fries. And ketchup.

terri said...

I'm sure that somehow this is all YOUR fault. I just haven't figured out yet exactly how. But it is.

It is.

vixen kitten said...

Sounds to me like you didn't ask the right questions.

Just sayin....

xoxo
~vk~

Artful Kisser said...

Bit of a control freak crankypants, hey? So the Mrs can't use the 'puter without you asking why?;)

For some reason, I imagine you saying this in the voice of Dustin Hoffman. In Tootsie...

Faiqa said...

So...I'm confused. How was she wrong?

Brittany said...

Bahahah! This made me laugh out loud.. literally..

oh women.. (oh us...) .. we are some crazy bitches sometimes arent we? Good thing we are all soft and curvy and smell good :)

Dr Zibbs said...

Hold on, hold on here.

Calm down Slyde.

The way you got all pissed you'd think someone had brought you onto a boat and told you not to use the toilet.

Arielle Lee Bair said...

Hehehe. You sound like my husband.

Michelle said...

Yep we are all soft and curvy!!!! LET IT GO MAN!!!

Tamara said...

Bwahahaha... love the tag for this post, Slyde.

Amorous Rocker said...

What a headache, lol. I always admit when I fuck something up right off the bat. Half the time I don't even need to be asked because I go admit to it before it gets found out, lol.

The Ambiguous Blob said...

I ef up a lot & then ask boys to fix it. I don't do it to make you feel useful, but I know it does. So I feel not at all bad. Not even a little bit.
Now please, take out the trash and buy her something nice.

Bruce said...

My wife has the benefit of always telling me when she screws up, becuase she knows I don't get angry, I just point my finger at her and laugh. I laugh a lot, and then usually blog about it.

The one thing she does to that drives me nuts though, is she goes in my MY garage, finds a tool (like vice grips or needle nose plyers) uses them and then 'hides' them in a draw, where they sit for months until I finally run across them while looking for something else. I ask my wife how they got in there, and she just plays dumb about it......because here idea of cleaning is is just shoving everyting into a drawer or under the carpet.....most frustrating.

AlleyCat said...

bahahaha. I agree with Mrs Hall.

It's almost as infuriating as having to PROOVE stuff you blokes. You know the one. Where you ask us a question, we answer it but you don't believe us. But if you best mate gave you the same answer, you'd just beleive him. WE on the other hand have to verify our answers with other multiple sources!!!

Now go & run your mrs a bath, um, after you've given her that lovely back rub!

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