Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Unforgettable

My fragile ego just can’t handle Facebook.

First, I need to back up a bit to tell this story.

When I was in high school, there was this girl who I used to see around. Let’s call her “Mary”. Mary was a year younger than me, and hung out with a different crowd.

She had a rep for being a ‘bad’ girl. She hung out with the derelicts of the school. I, on the other hand, hung out with those studs in the Drama club. As you might guess, we never really spoke to each other. Aside from noticing her and her KILLER body strutting through the halls, I didn’t even know her name, and I didn’t think she even knew WHO the Hell I was.

Cut to my senior year in high school, when fate put Mary and I in the same gym class (which is about the only class we COULD ever take together. Rumor had it she was on the verge of dropping out of school, while I was an Honor Class stud).

Anyway, it was getting near to the end of the school year, and the end of my time in high school. As I’m sure you all remember, that is a time when everyone has their school yearbook in hand, getting old friends to write a few words down to remember them by. Gym class was a prime time for writing in yearbooks.

One day, in one my the last weeks of school, while I was in gym class getting people to sign my yearbook, who should walk up to me out of the blue but Mary. She looked at me and said, “Slyde, it’s a shame to see you go. I wish we had stayed better friends.”

Huh? I was pretty sure I had never so much as spoken to this chick my entire life.

When I asked her what she was talking about, she floored me by telling me an AMAZING story.

Apparently, when we were both little tykes in grade school, we were pretty good friends. I would flirt with her all the time, pulling her pigtails and whatnot. Being a year older than her, I went off to Junior high and left her to endure another year at our grade school.

She said that missed me terribly, and was very excited when the next year rolled around so we could be together in school again. She said she saw walking down the hall on her first day of Junior High and ran up to me to say “Hi”.

She said I looked at her like she was an alien and said “Who the heck are you?”, and kept walking.

Years later, I sat open-mouthed on the bleachers as this girl told me this story. She said that she had been CRUSHED for the way I treated her, and had went home crying that day. It upset her for WEEKS afterward.

I have NO FUCKING recollection of this girl when we were kids. None. I don’t remember her as a kid, and I sure as shit don’t remember ever talking to her before that point.

Anyway, that day, she signed my yearbook with a very heartfelt message, and then we talked. And talked. Then we talked some more. We exchanged phone numbers and spoke to each other that night. And for the next 3 months, before I went off to college, we spoke often, and even went out together a few times.

Over the years, I have thought about her often.

So, imagine my surprise when I logged on to Facebook this week, and upon clicking on the “People You May Know” link, happened upon who else but Mary!

Very excited to be get the chance to speak with her again, 20 years later, I quickly “friended” her and added the message “My god, can you believe it’s been so long? Isn’t Facebook great?”

I was NOT at all ready for the message I got back from her.

“Sorry, who are you again? I’m sorry but I just don’t remember you”

Her? Not remember ME?

At first, I thought she was making a joke (or getting me back for the way I had treated HER all those years ago), but upon further emails with her, I have determined that she is either ready to take this joke with her to her grave, or…….

… or she REALLY doesn’t remember me.

How the HOLY FUCK is that possible?

I have photo-quality-like recollections of every chick who I have ever gone out with, even if it was just a one night stand! I had broken this little minx’s heart 20 years ago, for God sakes! And she doesn’t remember any of it?

As I said, my ego is having a hard time wrapping its head around someone ever forgetting dating ME. Can you imagine?

31 comments:

Dr Zibbs said...

...and then as the stood in the bleachers, Mary said, "Slyde, there is something that I need to tell you"

"Sure my dearest..What?"

She then pulled off her beautiful blond wig.. her voice deepened and she said,

"I'm Earl"

Slyde said...

zibbs: except the fact that the wig he was wearing wasnt blond, that is EXACTLY how we met.

Brittany said...

Awww poor baby! Pick your ego up off the ground, I've got some boo boo ice here if you need some :) Just remember that you are the hunkiest guy on my blog roll list!

Bina said...

Did you tell her the story of high school? And gym class? Did she sign your year book? You could copy that and email it to her to PROVE you aren't a stalker TRYING to become friends with her.

But no honey, I can't imagine ANYONE not remember you. Poor baby.

I'm on facebook!

B.E. Earl said...

This story makes me want to punch you in the vagina.

Secretia said...

It is easy to be "lost" in our own universe for a while!

Secretia

Slyde said...

brit: thanks, dear.

bina: She DID sign my yearbook! a big, hearfelt entry...

earl: i hate you.

Slyde said...

secretia: ive been lost there pretty much my whole life.. i like it here! :)

Bruce said...

Memory is a funny thing. Some of us have it and some of us lose it. There are some folks I can remember from grade school, but not many. This is probably why a take so many pictures and write so much....in an effort not to forget the details of the past.

Slyde said...

bruce: interesting take on it. i STILL find it bizarre tho...

mo.stoneskin said...

I can't believe you were such a donkey at school, she was all yours and you threw it all away...

I kid of course, you were with the drama studs...

But she sent you a request on facebook and then claimed to not know? What?!

Chris H said...

That is called PAYBACK dude! Maybe you are not ALL THAT afterall! Oh dear what a sad sad day it is. LOL

Chris H said...

You and Earl need therapy too! Major therapy me thinks! ha ha ha.

terri said...

Clearly, Mary has early-onset Alzheimers. Don't take it personally.

Paige Stanton said...

I'm sorry, but Facebook is for chumps.

sybil law said...

Are you sure it's not a joke?!

Slyde said...

mo: no no, i tried to friend HER...

chris h: not all that? how dare you!

terri: you think?

paige: im inclined to agree with you. I enjoyed it for the first 2 months, now i barely log in.

sybil: pretty sure, yeah

Shania said...

Oh honey, surely she's had a grievous head injury since then. It's the only explanation.

GiGi said...

How could anyone forget *you*, Slyde? :)

justsomethoughts... said...

yeah. it is kind of hard to imagine that she forgot you if she remebered you that much then.
she might be playing you.
well.

for a different kind of girl said...

Facebook sort of feels like the United Nations, they way it's always trying to bring people together. On top of that, it's also a freaky little social experiment. I'm always a bit stunned when a new face from high school pops up as a request!

Thanks for stopping by my blog today. I very much appreciate it, and I absolutely agree on your opinion of Handy Manny!

Faiqa said...

I have been waiting since the day I got my Facebook account for the bastard that dumped me four weeks before senior prom to try to friend me (OK, actually, I dumped him, but when I changed my mind he didn't want to get back together... bastard). No such luck, so I googled him last week. He has a consulting business with a website that has a photo, he's gained like 80 POUNDS since high school. SCORE!!! :)

I know, I'm a vindictive bitch. Whatever. I still feel good about the whole thing.

Tamara said...

When I was at varsity, some chick came up to me, called me by name and said she remembered me so well coz I punched her in the face in grade 2. I vaguely remembered her, but I don't remember punching her. So ja... anything is possible to repress ;-)

2abes said...

april fools...man she worked you

i am the diva said...

Maybe she was in a mining accident and has since suffered from amnesia. don't take it personally, she doesn't remember her own name! :D

Real Live Lesbian said...

You should have screwed her brains out. THEN, she'd remember you! ;)

Cocaine Princess said...

I'm laughing at what Dr. Zibbs wrote!!

Seriously that was a beautiful post but my heart breaks for you especially if she really doesn't remember you. It's a bit odd.

~The South Dakota Cowgirl~ said...

I will second Bina! Who wouldn't remember you?

Arielle Lee Bair said...

She's taking the joke to the grave. I think little girls remember getting their hearts broken forever... don't let her fool you. ;)

Meghan said...

Link her to this blog post. And then make her feel bad for forgetting you. Nothing works quite like guilt.

Nej said...

So....when talking to you in gym class, did she get you confused with some other stud that pulled her pigtails and blew her off in junior high?