Tuesday, September 29, 2009

General Hospital Is The Devil

Mini-Me has had a cold this week, and whenever he is sick, he likes to sleep in the same bed as Friz. They have kind of a mini-campout, and it makes him feel better.

Our bed is big (king-size) but it’s not big enough for ME when he’s sleeping there, given that he tosses and turns so much that I will often wake up with a foot in my face, so on these “mini-campout” nights, I usually just go sleep in our guest room.

So, last night when it was time for bed, I gave my little one a kiss, and then I proceeded to give Friz a goodnight smooch.

Imagine my surprise when, as I am doling out one of my sweet, sexy, sought-after, kisses, my son starts chanting…..

“Now Get Naked and Kiss!”

“Get Naked and Kiss!”

“Get Naked and Kiss!”

Immediately, my FIRST thought is, “What the HELL has this kid seen?” I’d like to think we are usually pretty good about keeping that stuff nice and private-like.

So, trying to regain my composure, I asked him, “Where the heck did you get THAT from?”

His answer?

“GENERAL HOSPITAL”!!!!!!!!!!!

Apparently, he was watching GH with Friz the other night, when two characters started rolling around in bed and kissing with no clothes on.

So NOW, because of that ass-hat of a show, I’ve gotta deal with this shit at 11pm at night.

At least I’ll get to hold this over on Friz for a while. She CONSTANTLY gives me crap for letting Mini-Me watch some of my horror movies with me. Meanwhile, it’s this soap-opera shit that REALLY turns kids into degenerates…..

I mean, I grew up watching horror movies with my dad, and look how fucking normal and well-adjusted I turned out…..

32 comments:

Heff said...

Genital Hospital !!! That show is CRAP...even for adults !

Slyde said...

heff, you are preaching to the choir.....

Paige Stanton said...

Oh no no no no no. IT'S NOT CRAP! It's AWESOME! I watch it everyday after work! I've watched it for 20 years!

They recently cancelled it from our local stations but we've got sattellite cable and I can still get it but only in our living room - not in the bedroom anymore! Sigh.

i am the diva said...

meh, GH is like trashy romance novels... but on tv with bad lighting... i can get sucked into both equally fast, and feel equally shamed afterwards...

Slyde said...

paige: im surprised they cancelled it for you... it IS on a major network here in the states.. abc.

diva: yeah, but does your kid pick up naked tips from watching it?

B.E. Earl said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
B.E. Earl said...

Well, you need to fess up buddy. Because not only did you grow up watching horror films with your Dad, but I know for a fact you also watched General Hospital with your Mom (or by yourself). Luke raping Laura to that disco song, the weather machine in Port Charles, all that shit.

I know because you told me about it and because I did too. 2 older sisters, ya know. And I was forced to watch that crap as well. It was better than doing my homework. I guess.

Slyde said...

earl: does NO ONE still read my witty label tags anymore?

i already DID fess up to watching it, with my grandmother, every day when i came home from school...

Mrs. Holly Hall said...

My six year old told me she knows what sex is the other day.

I said, "What is sex?"

She said, "It's when you kiss for a very long time".

I just smiled and went about my merry day.

kids... ;)

Mrs. Holly Hall said...

All the way through college eh?

Well, that's dedication ;)

Melanie said...

um. well... that kid is just learning now what we all learn later in life. getting naked and kissing is better than war, monsters and bloody guts all over the place.

Just sayin... :wink:

prashant said...

can get sucked into both equally fast, and feel equally shamed afterwards... Domain registration india

Nej said...

After spending many weeks at home recovering from shoulder surgery, I can now positively say I know why housewives need Valium, and anti-depression drugs. Between the soaps, game show network, and Lifetime movies, I wanted to do myself in!! :-) :-) :-)

Slyde said...

mrs hall: awwww, thats cute!

mel: well, hello stranger... havent seen you 'round these parts in AGES!

prashant: agreed.

Cocaine Princess said...

OMG that is so funny. I was in tears. Don't feel too bad.
My mom was a big Rock fan back in the day ago and liked listening to David Lee Roth's "I'm Just A Gigolo" and right in the middle of a dinner party I began singing the chorus over and over again.

GiGi said...

Isn't it weird, though - how, all these soap opera people still look the same after all these years? That's some damn good (or BAD) plastic surgery, eh? Hope mini-me is feeling better.

Roschelle said...

OMG!!! Is General Hospital still on!!!

Vinomom said...

My 9 year old totally knows what sex is. And she's told me exactly what it is, so I'm not assuming. We live w/ my boyfriend of five years, and I haven't figured out if she's concluded whether or not we actually have sex. She did ask me the other day if The Boyfriend had ever seen my boobs.

So now you know there are worse things - hopefully he thinks thats all there is to it for a looong time from now!

honeywine said...

They do! I remember when my brother Dave was like 6 and watched those rabidly! He'd come home from school asking if Bo & Hope had outwitted Stephano. That's just sick. lol

Faiqa said...

Buwahahahahaha... I just made my husband read this and he said, "Buwahahahaha!" too.

I watched House, M.D. with N. in the room the whole time I was pregnant. So, she's always saying stuff like, "It could be E. Coli... did you test him for Parkinson's?"

True story.

sybil law said...

GAH!!!!!
Quick - show that kid some Evil Dead stat!

Chris H said...

We don't get GH here now, I think we did years and years ago.. but I didn't watch it!
Have fun giving Fiz shit for that!

Tamara said...

That's hilarious! The bit about your kid routing for you guys to get naked and kiss, but more the bit about you watching General Hospital all through college...

2abes said...

i can happily say that I have never had any interest in that shit!

Karen said...

Too funny. At least he said it at home and not in the supermarket or church or school or some other fun public place.

I haven't watched GH since college, but I bet I still could follow some of the plot.

mikeb302000 said...

My five-year-old is a little sponge. Unfortunately he's picked up all the curse-words and smart-alack expressions from the older boys in our condominium. I usually ignore.

Cuz said...

i love you but, don't mess with GH EVERRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!

i love that show! LOL

Bruce said...

Yea, put the skids on that pronto, too much soap opeara turns kids gay.......on second thought, it may already be too late.

Bina said...

For the past few years, I swear Soap Operas are like soft porn. Thank God I'm working and can't watch them.

The Girl said...

I get some on my best moves watching GH ! How else would I know how to give you a sultry look and roll around in the sheets looking sexy?

mo.stoneskin said...

Look what you've gone and done. Strolling through town I saw a couple kissing. 'Get naked and kiss!' I yelled.

This black eye and fat lip are all your fault.

Michelle said...

At least mini me didn't say "get naked and have sex or some other variation. Your little mini me is growing up. And General Hospital was great when I was growing up, now? I have no idea!!!

Love that witty label!!!