Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Selling Out To The Man

Well, I’ve finally gone and done it.

I have sold my soul to the corporate devil.

I have begun to put advertisements on Slydesblog.

Why, you might ask, did I choose this time to finally burden you all, my loyal subjects, with the extra required bandwidth to bombard you with subliminal adverts asking you to buy things that you didn’t even KNOW you needed yet?

I dunno. Boredom, maybe?

Honestly, that’s about as good a reason as any. For a few months now, I’ve been toying with the idea of putting some ads here. Last night, in a fit of malaise, I finally pulled the trigger on it.

I guess it didn’t hurt that I read an article last week that dealt with web advertising, and how this one asshat out in Texas is now making 5 MILLION DOLLARS a month by placing ads on sites.

Now, I don’t anticipate making THAT kind of money…. At least not right off the bat.

Truth be told, I don’t think I’ll make ANYTHING off these ads, but I was curious just how much a high-minded website like mine that deals pretty much exclusively with wee-wee’s, boobies, and how insanely hot I am, could generate.

Did I mention wee-wee’s?

Anyway, I’ve been working all night running a series of highly complex cost analysis scenarios, and from my extremely educated and detailed findings, I think I can safely conclude that, due to running these advertisements, I should be EASILY clearing a cool 24 to 27 cents. 15 cents after taxes. A year!

Yeah, you read that right.

If I play my cards right, in my first 7,000 years, I should be banking my first $1,000!

I know that may SOUND like a long time to some of you, but they say when it comes to advertising, it usually takes people a few hundred years before word of mouth starts to generate a decent buzz. I can wait.

Anyway, the ads are automatically selected from the content on the site, so expect to be bombarded with a lot of books on the power of positive self-attitude, and penis pumps.


Hannah said...

Self help sites AND penis pumps in one place? Woo! Finally! ;)

GiGi said...

Have you ever seen that stupid blog app that will tell you "how much $$ your blog is worth"? I have done it a few times, and it always say ZERO. I give up. No ads for me!

Nej said...

I got distracted by a dude outside my work window....carrying a machete.

I kid you not.

I completely forgot what I was going to say. But, if he doesn't leave, I might just be staying late tonight.

Should give me plenty of time to remember? :-) :-)

SK Waller said...


debi_in_Hawaii said...

Yeah, I was considering doing the ad thing too for a few extra pennies, but when the other day I was clicking on "Next Blog" tab on the top, and somebody's blog had an ad for t r o Jan. LOL.
What's funny is when you look at the ad links below your blog, it says
"Meat S i n g l e Mein"
and "Prissy I n P u n k Com fort ers" (spaced out and misspelled all on purpose, of course or more will come up!)
I can only imagine what kinds of ads would pop up on mine...do g f o o d, more than likely the CRAPPIEST d og f oo d, and I don't want to look like I'm endorsing that garbage. ;D

Dr Zibbs said...

Can't talk...need to get my internet marketing certificate as advertised on your blog.

I hope it doesn't cost more than $8212 because that's all I've made on my blog THAT BLUE YAK so far.

Chris H said...

Nice one. I have never been tempted... I SOOOO DON'T NEED THE 24 cents!

Unknown said...

Well if you really can wait on that $1000...great. But in the mean time the color scheme looks pretty good. Ever thought about interior decorating?

i am the diva said...

i don't think there's any shame in putting a few ads on your site... you rake in those cents, and be sure to send some of the surplus up CanadaWay

sybil law said...

Damn, you make me laugh. :) Especially when you talk about wee wees.

The Peach Tart said...

I have ads on my blog. Since I started my blog in April, I've only made $7.50 so your calculation could be right. I just get a kick out of seeing what the hell kinds of ads they decide to put on there that they think match my latest post. Most are hilarious.

Verdant Earl said...

Well, I'm curious to see how this work out for you on the one hand.

On the other hand, I think I will quote Steph.


debi_in_Hawaii said...

Let's see what happens!

Pontiac G6


Tamara said...

Let me know when you make enough dough to fly to SA.

2abes said...

maybe this can fund your retirement

Kate said...

Thank goodness for Google Reader. ;)

Kimberly said...

Oh dear.

Kate said...

Eh, what the hell. I'm so used to seeing ads everywhere else, why not on your blog?

I asked a blogger friend, who has a modest readership (ie less comments than yours everyday), and she told me that after one year of ads, she got $100.

Shrug. I'd take that.

(Teehee , you said wee wee!)

Bruce Johnson said...

My first foray onto your blog 'with advertising' showed the following links:

The Breakfast Club

Pretty In Pink Comforters

Ice Road Truckers

Electric Dreams DVD Movie

.....based on the calucalated advertisements...I don't think this is helping you. "Pink Comforters".....I mean really, who sort of super stud has pink comforters?

Faiqa said...

Your ad display is showing Castrol EDGE Motor Oil. In the year or so that I've been reading your blog, I don't recall any content having to do with that.

Anyway, remember us little people when you make it to the big time and become a thousandaire.

Mrs. Hall said...

Hee hee hee, pink comforters...

um, let us know if this makes any money.

and did you get Mr. Hall friend request? for left for dead?

zombies are out there man, needing to be killing!

did I ask you that already...brain is not working right most days. :)

Unknown said...

I am so totally in love with you, and now that you'll be making all that money, perhaps you can afford TWO women in your life???? ;-)

I can't wait to see what kind of ads are on here! Why isn't there one RIGHT NOW????

Cocaine Princess said...

I can hardly wait to see these ads.

Heff said...

I'm very impressed, as I think your calculations are pretty accurate. I've been using "Adbrite" for about a year, and I SWEAR I've earned upwards of 20 cents ! Another 6 months, and I can go to the 7/11 and pick up a single can of Busch light compliments of the web !

mo.stoneskin said...

So if you aim to live to be 7 million years old then you can retire a millionaire. Result.

Candy's daily Dandy said...

Now there is nothing holding you back....

living the dream dude..