Monday, August 24, 2009

A Busy Little Bee



I haven’t been around for a week. I don’t think I’ve gone without posting this long in a LOOOONG time. Probably not since the days I used to tolerate Earl co-blogging here.

Why have I been AWOL, you might ask?

Because I took a few days off work, to spend time with Mini-Me.

And to be quite honest, as much as I love you all, if I have to choose between being outside and doing something fun during Long Island’s ONLY summer heat wave to date, and sitting at home in my underwear blogging, I’ll usually pick that first one every time.

What exactly might I have been up to? Because I know you all NEED to live vicariously through me, I’ll give ya all a brief rundown of my last few days.

Wednesday
My volleyball team, the Sweet Tomatoes, took a serious hit on our penultimate outing. That’s a nice way of saying we sucked. This week will be our final game. Keep your fingers crossed that we can finish up the season at .500.

Thursday
I took my son to his favorite summer place, Splish Splash.

If you believe the radio spots they run, it’s “One of the Top Water Parks in the Country!”.

If you believe ME, it’s a fucking shameless money vacuum.

$37.99 for me to get in for the day. $27.99 for my son. $12.00 to park. $12.00 to get a locker to put our shit in.

For the mathematically challenged, that’s $90 dollars out of my pocket before I even get so much as my big fucking toe wet.

And don’t even get me started on lunch, carnival games, and souvenirs. You would think that having me strut around their place in a g-string would be a big enough draw that they would pay ME just to be there.

Friday
Went to Fire Island with a group of friends. Had a generally fun time, although with Hurricane Bill breathing down our necks, the tide was pretty fierce. By noon the police were strolling the beach ordering people out of the water. Of course, by that time I’d already tried to show off by paddling out past the breakers, and got my knee fucked up more than when Tom Hanks tried to escape the island in Castaway.

Saturday
Went to 2 outdoor get-togethers. The first one was during the day and was family-friendly. The nighttime one was adults only.

Guess which one I enjoyed more?

If I was the kind of person who would kiss and tell, I could write up some serious shit about Saturday night. Suffice to say that it involved nudity, wacky weed, wife swapping, extreme drunkenness, and break dancing.

For the life of me, I’m not sure which one of the aforementioned that I enjoyed more.

Sunday
Sunday I stayed in bed till 11:00 and tried to remind myself that I’m not 25 years old anymore. I may still look like a sexy god of perfection, but the years, they DO start to take their toll.

Anyway, I recovered enough by Sunday Afternoon to drag my ass down to see Inglorious Basterds. I’ll try to put up a review later in the week.

26 comments:

Karen said...

I have been to Splish Splash. I have never understood why water parks and amusement/theme parks are so darn expensive to enter! Once you are in there I understand them raping you for food and such. But why is it so expensive just to get in???

sybil law said...

We'll need photographic evidence of that g - string. :)
And that adult part sounds like fun! I could totally hang there - I am all about the nudity. :D

Chris H said...

I am sure Mini-Me loved having your attention. As for the saturday night activities.. I'm sure you DO exaggerate mate!

B.E. Earl said...

You went to Cherry Grove without inviting me? Dick.

James said...

I am disappointed Slyde. I always thought you blogged naked.

debi_in_Hawaii said...

I think those water park places are expensive to cover their liability insurance.
Next time just buy a Slip-n-Slyde!

mikeb302000 said...

Slyde, I enjoyed hearing what you've been up to, especially the Splish Splash day. I have the same thing here. To take my three kids and the wife to the pool ends up costing over a 100 bucks easy. So, instead I take them the the free beach, which has been just fantastic fun this summer. We go every other day more or less and my kids are old enough now to really get into it, they're 12, 9 and 5.

mikeb302000 said...

Slyde, I enjoyed hearing what you've been up to, especially the Splish Splash day. I have the same thing here. To take my three kids and the wife to the pool ends up costing over a 100 bucks easy. So, instead I take them the the free beach, which has been just fantastic fun this summer. We go every other day more or less and my kids are old enough now to really get into it, they're 12, 9 and 5.

rachel said...

I went to splish splash when it first opened. it was gross then so I never went back. But I go to the Outlets at exit 72 (or use to all the time, will probably go next weekend when I go see the parents)

I miss LI

terri said...

Splish Splash sounds a lot like Valley Fair, which is our local, giant amusement park/water park. I wouldn't mind the cost so much if it were just the admission price. There's plenty of entertainment to support it. It's the way they gouge you with all the extras, especially food and drink.

Saturday night's party sounds interesting! You've obviously got friends that are way more relaxed than mine.

2abes said...

Earl, got the Cherry Grove comment in that I was going to write. Does he just sit and wait at home for you to post????? He's way to quick. Anyway sounds like a great week...I bet you felt guilty being away from work for that long

GiGi said...

Out of all those things you did....staying in bed until 11 was the thing I envied most! Lucky you - I seem to live in a house where if one person is awake, it's like a chain reaction - no one else is asleep much longer.

Dr Zibbs said...

Which day did you pick ribbons out and make a decoupage box for Earl's new locks that you picked out of his barber's dumpster?

Awww yeah smash!

Jennifer and Sandi said...

NINETY DOLLARS????? Shit-ta! I'd ask for a refund?


- Jennifer

Kate said...

Twelve dollars for a fucking locker? Jesus. Note to self: Don't move back to the EC.

Kimberly said...

I'd pay to see that thong on you - backwards.

Heff said...

Where can I purchase that Bee outfit for my sweetie ?

dizzblnd said...

WOW! What a great week aside from the $100 at the water park. I bet you looked schmexy in the g-string.. sorry I missed it.

I thought I was a party animal.. but you have me beat by a LONG shot.

I am glad you are back

Amos said...

If one's spouse is satisfactory enough to swap, why would one wish to do so?

Seems a better idea to count one's blessings while they still favour you.

Anonymous said...

200 Miles of nice beaches at your disposal and you pay ninety odd bucks for a water park?

Why, for that kind of money I'll bet there were no lines, no screaming little dirtbags, no ghetto types, bet you got to go on dozens of rides and the food must have been gourmet the whole way......

I guess the beautiful people in America learned very little from the last 2 years.

Meghan said...

Sounds like a fun albeit busy time. Why are you posting pics of me on your blog?

Faiqa said...

Yay for having a life outside of the Internet! Although, I have you beat as I was BRINGING ANOTHER HUMAN LIFE INTO THIS WORLD. :D

Oh, and you think Splish Splash is bad? Let's wait until you have to take a second mortgage out on your home to take your kid to Disney World and we'll talk about money vacuums...

Raechelle said...

I just want you to know that the zucchini bread does not even TASTE like zucchini....it's fucking fabulous! with the nutrients....
I'm telling you-you have to try it....it is the best bloody healthy bread you will have ever tried in your entire life! it's that good....trust me ;-)
I speak only the truth!
now....what were you saying? hehehe

Tamara said...

Good grief! You'd love South Africa. You can get entrance to a theme park, including the rides, a trip down a mine shaft and two interactive shows for R150, which is about $20.

Kaylen said...

Seriously--water parks are WAY overpriced!!! I love them. And I hate them. And $12 for parking is going WAY overboard.

Sounds like a good time off work! Water parks, wife swapping...good variety. :)

Cocaine Princess said...

I love it when you talk about your Mini Me. It shows me the soft and compassionate side to you. But seriously only a 10dollar difference in price between you and your son?! There's something wrong with that.