Tuesday, June 16, 2009

You Like Me, You Really Like Me!

The best part about being a world-famous cyber-celebrity is that it gets me tons of sex.

Well, not actual “sex”, but it DOES get me thousands of women all over the world who desperately want to be with me. When you compound them with all the women (and men) LOCALLY who want to get with me, the number becomes ASTRONOMICAL! Probably more than 8!

What was I talking about again?

Oh yeah, the fact that you all cant seem to get enough of me.

Case in point: Over the weekend I was presented with TWO, count ‘em, TWO awards from chicks who can’t live another moment without professing their naughty love for me.

But really, can any one of us blame them? They’re only human, after all. You all HAVE seen my picture, right?

Listen, lets just all agree that women all over the world, regardless of race, creed, religion or cup size all are dieing to get in my pants, and move on, shall we?

Anyway, first I was honored with an award by the lovely and talented Faiqa

I’ve been reading Faiqa’s site for about a year now, and it never fails to disappoint. She’s a great writer. Much better than I’ll ever be, but I guess that’s not much of a compliment. Anyway, I always enjoy reading her well-versed take on things from family, to religion, to her unending love of Angel.

I would have given her even MORE praise, but she had to go and tarnish my award by comparing me to a girl! OHHHH, if she were here right now I’d just scratch her eyes out! Hissssssss!

No sooner did I recover from the honor above, then right afterwards I got an award from Chris.

Chris is from New Zealand, which apparently is NOT the same thing as Australia. Yeah, I know… news to me, too.

Chris left me a voice message up top, a few weeks ago. Anyway, I’ve probably revealed this before, but I think people’s accents from that part of the world are just about the sexiest damn thing since sliced bread. Irish accents come in a close second, but I as far as I can tell, I don’t have any Irish readers, so fuck Ireland.

Chris always amazes me with how often she writes. I think my head would explode if I tried to blog that much, and it’s always good tidbits about what’s going on with her family and stuff. And with all the work she puts into her blog, she still finds the time to come here and comment on just about every one of my stupid posts. It’s noticed, and much appreciated.

Anyway, now that the floodgates are open, I expect the rest of the Free World to follow suit and adorn me with their laurels and accolades. It’s really the LEAST you all could do to make me happy.

I need as many kind words and compliments thrown my way as you can muster. I’m not sure if you have gleened this about me, but I have a bit of an ego problem.

28 comments:

Real Live Lesbian said...

I was just thinking how fabulous you are....

(swoon)

Slyde said...

reallive: im sensing a bit of sarcasm from you there...

B.E. Earl said...

I've got an award for ya...




...in my pants!

Slyde said...

Earl: and thank YOU for just proving my post true...

2abes said...

Earl is it in a diaper?

Dr Zibbs said...

AND...look how many followers you have right now...

69..

AWWW YEAH..get it? 69?

(looks around to see if anyone gets it) 69??

Ali said...

I'm Irish.

So unless you're saying "fuck Ireland" in the literal sense, that wasn't very nice.

Okay, so I don't have the accent, but I do have the alabaster skin, the potty mouth and the attitude.

I'm going to leave you a message from a Canadian/Irish/Scottish girl - then we'll see if MY accent makes your sexy list!

Slyde said...

abes: its a good bet.

zibs: ya know, i was going to do a 69 followers post, but then i know someone would just follow me to fuck me up and make it 70 as soon as i posted it.

ali: Yes, please do! for the record, i was only saying fuck the irish FROM ireland. all those canadian irish are ok by me!

Meghan said...

I thought I was the only one! You hussy!

Nej said...

"Probably more than 8!" :-) :-)

Slyde said...

Meghan: i cant wait for you forever, missy...

Nej: Maybe 9.

Chris H said...

Ahhh Slyde... it's a wonder anyone can actually SEE you cos of that friggin HUGE EGO .. but I can. You are a nice dude under all that. With a couple of awards to prove it even....
69 eh? Hmmmmmmm..

debi_in_Hawaii said...

That makes me #69. What an honor LOL.

dizzblnd said...

WHew! How are you going to ba able to walk therough your house without your head getting stuck in all the doors. Just when we had your ego tamed a little..

THANKS GIRLS!

lol

Slyde said...

chris: you really think i have a huge ego? no ones ever mentioned that to me before...

deb: there are about 8 dirty things going thru my mind right now in response to that comment, but i dont know you well enough yet to say them :)

dizz: how dare you!

My ego has NEVER been tamed!

Faiqa said...

Calling you a girl? WAS. A. COMPLIMENT. You guys don't seem to get that. Sigh. ;)

terri said...

Congratulations! I don't know how you stand yourself with all that adoration surrounding you. I suppose you get used to be worshipped by the masses.

debi_in_Hawaii said...

Aw, don't be a prude!

badgerdaddy said...

Hey handsome... Saying Faiqa never fails to disappoint actually means she always disappoints and I don't think that was what you meant to say... But it does reinforce what you follow it with!

Bina said...

I've wanted to get in your pants from the moment I saw your picture and read your posts. You are the most awesome, best looking male blogger in all of bloggy land. I don't know what I would do without you in my reader. I would probably shrivel up and die and slow and painful death. You are just THAT great.

You always make me laugh.

Heff said...

I'll be sure to photoshop you some Bullshit award first chance I get !

sybil law said...

So, should I bow down to you or curtsy? I'm so confused, now...

teeni said...

Congrats on your awards! As you may or may not know, I'm temporarily indefinitely retired from awards and that stuff. Otherwise you know I'd be tossing a ton of them in your direction. Love your blog, love Earl's blog and the panting, I mean, pratter that goes on between the two of you. ;)

Cocaine Princess said...

Congratulations Slyde.

You ought be awarded for your cheeky label titles too.

Tamara said...

Well done, Slyde. Once again, if your voice message thing would let us South Africans leave you messages, I would do so.

(Then you'd see that we definitely have the best accents ever!)

Michelle said...

Make it 10!

I want you too!!

honeywine said...

Native love, huh. So THAT's why you wear the loin cloth. Got it. :D

Bruce said...

I am surprised you didn't mention the cute "Hello Kitty" award you received and the "Gay Pride Blog" award you also received. What gives?