That’s a Mighty Big Beaver You’ve Got There!

The following is an actual conversation with my mother on Friday when we met at a local pizzeria for lunch:

- Looking at the bottom of the cap of my Snapple bottle while we are eating -
Me: “Hey, there’s a bit of history trivia written on the bottom of this cap.”

Mom: “What does it say?”

Me: “It says, ‘Beavers used to be as large as a bear.’”

Mom: “Really?”

Me: “That’s what it says.”

Mom: “Wow, I wonder when THAT was?”

Me: “Probably in the 1960’s…”

Mom: “Why would you say something so stupid as there were giant beavers in the 1960s?”

Me: “Because you asked a stupid question! When the Hell do you THINK we had giant beavers??? It had to be during prehistoric times, obviously!”

Mom: “Not necessarily.”

Me: “Not necessarily? Have you ever SEEN a monster beaver?”

Mom: “No, I haven’t.”

Me: “How about Grandma? Do you think she ever spied one?”

Mom: “I’m pretty sure she didn’t, either.”

Me: “Now, how far back in our lineage do you want me to go with this, before you see what i'm driving at?”

Mom: “…………..”

Mom: “Lucky me, I raised an asshole.”


Happy early Mother’s day, mom!