Thursday, April 09, 2009

Slow News Day


You know i have nothing good to talk about when i resort to just posting my emails.

Next week, prepare to be dazzled as i unveil my grocery list. Will I get the jumbo-sized Spam or will i settle for the economy-size? Tune in next week for the exciting answer!

Anyway, here is a random conversation I had yesterday through email with my insignificant other, Earl.

Earl: Hey, was the woman you spoke about in your last post with the nice rack that you stared at Cathy St. George? If so, you always DID like older hot women. P.S. I think you are sexy (ok, i added that last part).

Me: Yes it was… I have no clue what the fuck movie she was ever in, but I was standing there and saw her sitting at a booth and no one was talking to her, so i started chatting with her about the time I noticed she had big hoo-ha's.

Earl: Dude, she was in Playboy. Back in 1982!!!

Me: Her cans have stood up well…

Earl: She's 55!

Me: That's almost 28 years per boob. Anyway, she was there as a A-list guest....she HAD to have done something besides playboy 25 years ago!

Earl: She has had bit parts in movies over the years, but she was probably there because she was the inspiration for the cover art for Red Sonja #33. Seriously. It's on the ICON site.

By the way, that is the lamest group of "stars" I have ever seen. WTF was Sean Astin thinking? And when you said one of the Mythbusters, I assumed it meant one of the two main guys. Not one of the background dudes. And he is listed second among the celebrities! Ha!

Me: I had no clue WHO the fuck the mythbuster guy was.. I don’t watch that show. Was he the guy who had that picture going around the internet a few months back where he was doing naughty things with a dildo?

The best part of ICON was that Sean Astin had to share his lecture with the guy who played Sauron. That guy was in .....what? Like 10 seconds of the first film? I wanted to raise my hand to ask him what his fucking motivation was when he stood there for a nanosecond..


...and on and on .... We have discussions like this pretty much every day. If we hired 2 more guys to hang out with us, we could be the man-equivilent of Sex & The City (of course i'd be Samantha).


Anyway, all i really wanted to do today was to remind all you fine folks to watch HARPERS ISLAND tonight, because i plan on talking about it next week, and if no one watched it then no one will know what i'm talking about.

Whenever someone talks about something that no one knows about, people assume they are insane. And i don't want that.

Or do i? MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

21 comments:

Faiqa said...

For a minute, I thought you were talking about Christopher Lee. And then, I was crushed back into the reality that you were not.

Elise said...

I would definitely watch you're version of SITC... xx

Slyde said...

faiqa: no, not mr. lee... im talking about the guy who stands in a suit of armor for the first 15 seconds or so of lord of the rings. then we never see him again.

elise: of course you would! :)

Bina said...

I don't know what that show is, but if it comes on at 7:00 PM you can bet your ass I won't be watching! LOL I have to look it up.

My friend and I have conversations via email like that all the time. And the crazy thing is, she sits about 6 feet from me!

Slyde said...

bina: see, im not THAT lazy! if earl were here i'd definitely at least walk over to him.

B.E. Earl said...

I think that conversation was slightly edited, but pretty damned close.

Slyde said...

earl: edited? i already admitted you didnt say i was sexy..


you sure as shit THOUGHT it though...

dizzblnd said...

good stuff! Thanks for the reminder on harpers Island, I hope it dsoesn't interfere with what I watch tonight

Heff said...

I'm familiar with Cathy St. George. I have the Playboy issue she's in. She's STILL ALIVE ?!?!?! LMAO !!!

terri said...

I have no idea what Harpers Island is, but sadly, I do remember Red Sonja. Whatever happened to Brigitte Nielsen?

Slyde said...

dizz: unless you watch that unwatchable "private practice", you should be ok

heff: still alive, and still stacked

terri: shes a drunk, and a general mess...

mo.stoneskin said...

I recommend you post a dialogue between you and Earl more often!

Ali said...

You so ARE Samantha!

Hmmm, I wish I looked like Charlotte, and I already have Carrie's job, and Samantha's mouth...I guess the only one I don't really love is Miranda. But she got braces, and is so bitchy...

Oh, sorry, what was your post about again?!

Right. You were being talking about the old lady with the boobs. Classic Slyde ;)

Mrs. Holly Hall said...

saw the show last night. totally confused about 95% of it, but am willing to keep trying.

must be the fever.

ok

looking forward to your report.

and I already know who the killer is.

MMMWHAA HAAA HAA

Slyde said...

mo: You should say that after YOU tried dealing with him every day..

ali: DAMN right, im samantha!

holly: its the little girl, right? its gotta be the little girl!

Mrs. Holly Hall said...

no, it's not the little girl.

guess again!!

hee hee

Have a good easter!!!

Michelle said...

I think you and Earl are adorable and such great friends. I love how you guys talk shit to each other but deep down love each other.

It's heartwarming and touching and cute!!!

AWWWW!!!!

honeywine said...

Hang on a minute. You're telling me you can get a jumbo sized can of Spam? Seriously? I wanna see that.

Slyde said...

holly: dammit!

hope you had a happy easter!

michele: its not THAT adorable.. i really DO hate him..

Honey: no you dont...

Paige Stanton said...

Oh gawd, it's always a good laugh here!

teeni said...

Your conversations with Earl are definitely always interesting. LOL. I always enjoy them anyway. :)