Monday, March 16, 2009

Way Cool Junior

You might think that someone as damned hot as myself wouldn’t also have a brain in their head, but I’m happy to say that is simply not the case.

On the contrary, I’m here to tell you that inside this package (hehe.. I said ‘package’) of perfect looks and musculature, therein lies the massive intellect of an uber-nerd.

Hard to believe, I know.

But I can prove it.

I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned it before, but I went to school at Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute in Troy, NY. I’ll forgive you if you’ve never heard of it, but it’s pretty much considered to be in the top 3 engineering schools in the country (the other 2 being M.I.T. and Cal Tech).

I look upon my time at R.P.I. with generally a poor attitude. The school housed the geekiest of the geeky. People who seriously would fall into every bad “nerd” stereotype you have EVER seen or heard of.

If you have ever seen some dorky person in a movie or on TV and thought to yourself, “Wow, no one is REALLY like that in real life!” you’d be dead wrong. These people really DO exist, at places like Rensselaer.

Needless to say, sports were not our strong suit at dear ol’ R.P.I.

Not for lack of trying. We actually had a halfway decent hockey team, but I think my grandmother and her knitting circle could have beaten our football or basketball teams (and that’s saying a lot…. my grandma has been dead for 25 years).

Why am I bringing this all this up?

Well, I was on their website earlier today to maybe purchase a few school T-Shirts, when I happened upon something I hadn’t seen in almost 20 years….

Our school fight song.

I hadn’t heard this gem in so long, I had forgotten about it. Or, maybe I just FORCED myself to forget it.

Ah yes, Good old R.P.I.! How could ANY opposing team not shit their pants in fear as they entered our stadium to hear 4,000 hopped-up nerds chanting….

E to the x dy/dx,
E to the x dx,
Cosine, secant, tangent, sine
Square root, cube root, log of pi,
Dis-integrate them RPI!

I’m not kidding. That was our fucking school FIGHT song! How pathetic is that?

It might as well have been:

Steal my lunch money, sis boom bah!
Girls Scare Me… Ra Ra Ra!
Star Wars, Star Trek, Obi-Wan,
I’ll be a virgin till I’m 41!

After 4 years there, It’s amazing I turned out as cool as I did.

It really IS a minor miracle..


Chris H said...

That song sure sucks! And are you cool ??? That is debatable...VERY debatable .... lol.
I mean ... that was YOUR song...

Verdant Earl said...

Halfway decent hockey team?

Um, they were Division 1 national champs in 1985 and a bunch of the guys who played on the team when you went there wound up in the NHL.

They were a little more than halfway decent. A national power might be a better way to describe them in the mid-late 80's. I actually went to one of their games in 85. But I was probably drunk and looking for a Denny's in Troy at the time. Can't blame me.

Slyde said...

chris H: yes, i am very cool!

earl: i know. (and for the record, i know alot of those guys). But after 85 they never came close to reaching that level again... hence "halfway decent".

p.s. people who type "UM" in their typed posts to indicate smarminess are people i want to punch in the nuts...

Mrs. Hall said...


really, that was your fight song?

oh my god man, it is a miracle how hot you are now.

I can say though, Mr. Hall is 100% engineer. The key to it, is owning it. And really, there is a special knowledge that engineers have, I mean, there is such direct lines in the engineer's thinking. Seeing things what others don't because they are caught up in the peripherals.

It is swanky in a way. Certainly helps streamline the piles of speghetti lines in my thinking.

That being said, the coolest people understand who they are and want to share with others. And I think you are pretty cool Mr. Slyde. :)

ok-take care


Mrs. Hall

mo.stoneskin said...

That truly is incredible.

The most interesting and intriguing post I've read all day.

What worries me is why you haven't mentioned it before.

I've only been visiting here a few weeks but I would have thought even in that short time you would have said...

Speechless, I really am. All I can do is ramble on about it, but that is just incredible.

You geek.

Slyde said...

holly: thats very well said. The one thing i CAN say for most of these guys are that they certainly did look at the world from another way... maybe we need more of that.

mo.: What can i say? college was a very rough time for me. I didnt fit in at all, and the work was the hardest ive ever done in my life. 30 hours of class a week, plus about 40 hours of library-time... it was very stressfull..

Mrs. Hall said...

ya know what, I think I am going to turn that comment into a post.

now, do i add on my thoughts about Mr. Hall's cosby sweaters from his youth? hmmm


Michelle said...

Mr. Slyde you are THE coolest!!!

And kinda cute too!!! :O)

I am partial to geeky nerd types!!!

terri said...

I really wish you'd try to come out of your shell a little bit. Try to overcome that insecurity, will ya? ;-)

Tamara said...

Slyde, I'm not sure which made me laugh harder - the fight song or your revised version ;-)

Anonymous said...

crappy school song, but when Metallica sings it it gets much better...I'm sure all the hot chicks at RPI belting out that song before a b-ball game really distracted the opposition

Anonymous said...

self portrait?

Faiqa said...

Hahahahaha!! I went to a university like that. Plus, the ration of men to women was 8:1. Men to hot women? 35:1.

This obviously explains my goddess complex.

Verdant Earl said...

"p.s. people who type "UM" in their typed posts to indicate smarminess are people i want to punch in the nuts..."

Um, fuck you.

Slyde said...

holly: cosby sweaters? really?

michele: geeky nerd type.. thats me!

terri: i am a bit on the shy side, arent i? i need to work on that.

tamara: i honestly like my version more.. i sung it to myself last night to put me to sleep..

faiqa: yeah, i found it very funny how girls that i normally wouldnt look twice at, by novemeber or so i was thinking they were vixens..

Slyde said...

earl: you're just doing that because you are confident that i couldnt find your nuts...

its a good bet.

Ookami Snow said...

That, is, the, awesomest school fight song ever!

All ya all are just haters.

Unknown said...

so under that yummy wifebeater tank is a pocket protector?

I am now more intrigued.

Maybe you should submit YOUR fight song. They just might adopt it.

I am pleased that you turned out as non-geekish as you did


The Math Ninja said...

That song is amazing. Absolutely amazing. I wish I went to school there.

Caz said...

um um um um um um um um um um ;)

PS um

Slyde said...

ookami: did you read it correctly?

dizz: its kinda growing on me, too..

math: you really dont... i dont care how nerdy you THINK you are... you dont want to go there...

caz: ok, now i KNOW i cant find balls on you!

Lisa said...


I was thinking, 'pathetic' before you said it.

You poor dude.

Unknown said...

So how did a cool, sexy manly man like yourself end up going to that schoo??? Hmmmmm?

Slyde said...

lisa: thanks for the sympathy...

bina: im honestly not sure.. i think i had a typo in my application..

Heff said...

Sheeit, I actually know of a guy that is EXACTLY like Carl Childers from Slingblade. It's a strange world, you just have to know where to look.

Dr Zibbs said...

Were there any hot chicks there?

GeologyJoe said...

HA! I went to grad school at suny a. I first was exposed to the mega geeks when we would go over for seminars from time to time.

Ali said...

Quit being so modest, Slyde!!!

And I dunno...I'm kind of into nerds...I think I'm down with that song.

debi_in_Hawaii said...

Of course your damned cool...
I used to have a sweatshirt that said 'real men drive Pontiac' (until my mom stole it LOL)

Candy's daily Dandy said...

Dude, you seriously rock!

WTF kinda school song is that? Hee hee.

Blessed you are, to posess brains and heart...and the ability to kick all those geeks asses!

Slyde said...

heff: if i were you i'd stay away from that guy....

zibbs: remarkably, no.

geo: ah, suny a! i used to go THERE to get laid...

ali: i know, i know.. ive gotta come out of my shell alittle.

deb: i need a shirt like that :)

candy: man, there were quite a few that i would have like to have decked...

Bruce Johnson said...

Wow...I....I....I'm speechless. Both at the school fight song.....and at your updated translated version.

Slyde said...

bruce: speechless in a GOOD way?