Tuesday, February 10, 2009

TV Eats My Soul

A friend of mine told me the other day that I watch too much television.

That is only PARTLY true. In the Fall, I watch very little TV…. .maybe 2-3 shows a week, and that’s it.

During the Summer months, I watch nothing really. The television barely gets turned on. I’m way too busy being outside, enjoying the pool, and showing off my rock hard abs to the gaggle of women who peek through my PVC fence clamoring for a look at me.

But alas, from January until May, I fully admit that I am a complete TV whore.

Believe me, I completely realize that I am wasting my time, and killing brain cells, but every year, I can’t seem to stop myself as I fill up my Tivo with loads of crap. Every night, I go through this insane balancing act, where I try desperately to get Mini-Me to get to bed by a certain time, so I can watch everything I want to watch that night and still get to bed at a time where I can at least pretend to be coherent for work the next day. It’s a ridiculous battle that I put myself through every Winter, and it needs to stop (or at least lighten up a little).

So, maybe it’s time for a cyber-intervention. In an effort to publicly embarrass myself into watching less TV this season, I am going to list what I watch each night of the week from Jan – May:

Amazing Race – One of my favorite reality shows. I don’t see me giving this one up.

24 – After a year hiatus, Jack Bauer is back and I’m staying along for the ride.

American Idol – I know… please kill me. But Friz likes it, and the whole damn COUNTRY watches it. I like to be up on my pop culture, after all.

Nip/Tuck – There was a time when this was one of the best shows on TV. Now, it’s mostly just silly, but I still tune in looking for those rare moments when the show lives up to its early season’s promise.

The Bad Girls Club – I’ve spoken about this one before. The show is a train wreck and I don’t give a shit. Hot trashy girls getting drunk, making out, and fighting with each other. In, In, and In!

American Idol – I could ALMOST stomach this show if it wasn’t on TWO nights a week.

Lost – Simply the best show on television. You will ONLY be able to pry this show away from my cold, dead hands. Maybe.

Real World – What can I say? I love watching these “fishbowl” type shows, and the fact that the girls are always hot and like to bang a lot seems to help.

Survivor – My favorite reality show. I’ve applied two times to be a contestant. One day, I WILL be on it.

Battlestar Galactica - I’m not a huge sci-fi fan, but damn does this show rock. It’s currently in the middle of its final season, and every episode has been Frakking Awesome.

Real Time with Bill Maher – This is the only news that I watch. Sad, I know. But I DO learn things from it. It’s probably the only semi-redeeming show on this list.

Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles – Last season this show pretty much blew, but I stuck with it because I LOVES me some people-killing machines. And I’m glad I did. This season has been OUTSTANDING, but the ratings have been shit. It’s almost definitely cancelled after its last few episodes are aired this season.

Prison Break – It won’t be back on the air until Terminator ends, and takes it’s timeslot. Another once-great show that’s gotten a little too long in the tooth. It’s already been reported to be cancelled, so I’ll just finish watching these last few episodes to see how they wrap things up.

Saturday Night Live – Yes, I know it’s rarely funny, but I’ve been watching since the first season. Really. At this point, it’s like getting a visit from an old friend every Saturday night.

And that’s it. Except of course for Rescue Me and the Celebrity Apprentice which will both be starting in March, that list above is what I’ll be doing every night until late May.

So, do I need help, or should I just accept that I am a TV junkie and revel in my High-Definition high?


Unknown said...

Everyone is a tv whore in the winter even if we don't want to admit it. And The Real World really is oddly addicting, even after all these years.

Unknown said...

I think that is an acceptable amount of screen time.. however your choice of TV shows baffles me. No comedies besides SNL and BGC.

No The Office, My Name is Earl, Scrubs? You don't know what you are missin man!

Now BSG! THAT'S a great show

Slyde said...

meghan: im inclined to agree with you, i think.

dizz: i know the office is a great show, but i just cant get past the fact that it is a watered-down spawn of the original british version, which i consider to be one of the best comedies of all time.

Mrs. Hall said...

Um, if tv eats your soul, what does it taste like?

That being said, you can prol'l trim the viewing habits a bit. Starting with nip/tuck. If a show was once great and not it is not, realize that you have to move on. You just can't go home again as they say.

Your quotient for 'hot girls/being drunk/fighting/faux lesbian action' should be fulfilled by the bad girls club. Therefore, you can let go of the real world. you could, um, supplement that need with some, um abbywinters (dot) com. This is very gentle and woman centered site. giggl giggle

I would review the whole american idol veiwing entirely. What need is being serviced by watching this? If you want to be part of the pop culture conversation, you can always read recaps. But, again, review what need it is servicing.

And really, what this is all about, is your needs.

Although, I find that in general, most needs are best met in the real world. (again, not the tv show :)

take care and good luck!

Dr Zibbs said...

I sadly admit to wathching American Idol too.

For research purposes.

Slyde said...

holly: nip tuck CAN still be great... its just not consistantly so anymore. Its more silly more times than not.

As for AI, you are right of course, but the sad truth that i dont want to admit to myself is, i do enjoy it, even when its enfuriating me.

zibbs: oh yeah yeah. me too! research!

Janine / Being Brazen said...

I LOVE Battlestar Galactica - its so addictive....

Slyde said...

brazen: cool! another lover of BSG! and a chick! will you marry me?

Anonymous said...

I bet you have general hospital and the desperate housewives on tivo.

Michelle said...

Ok great mind here is what my great mind thinks for you:

Totally stop watching American Idol. Seriously, your wasting two nights on that crap!!! Nuff said there.

I would give up Real World also!!! Same shit, different city!!!!

Nip/Tuck well I DVR it. I have not watching one episode yet but i will so stay with it and write reviews.

LOST!!! Keep watching dude!!! That one is a keeper for sure!!!

All the others, well DVR and then space it out so you can spend time with mini-me and with your blog readers!!! We need you here!!!


HAPPY TUESDAY great mind!!!

Slyde said...

abes: general hospital, yes. but its Friz's i swear....

thankfully we have always hated DH.

michele: if i drop anything, it would be american idol first. its mildly amusing, but i dont know if its 2 HOURS each week worth of amusing

debi_in_Hawaii said...

G6 eh? (insert imaginary Blogger smiley with thumbs-up here) :)
Here you go.

Bruce Johnson said...

You are way beyond help my friend.....check into an institution for some heavy medication. Keep these and forget the rest:

Amazing Race: (heck I applied for it and didn't make it past the first round...bastards)

Survivor: Long in the tooth at this point, but I like the challenges.

American Idol: Only for the auditions, one it turns into a competition...it blows.

Bill Mahr is probably worth keeping sort through the lunacy of the real world.

The rest of these shows are just lame. 24? Come on, this all happens to this guy in 24 hours...doubtful...you fantasize that our government ran this well.

Prison Break?.....shows should end when the title is satisfied. Would you watch "The Building Collapses, Season 5" when the building collapsed in Season 1?

I might add "Madd Men" to the mix and "The Bachelor / Bachlorette", only because it has become the worlds most hilarious scripted primetime soap opeara in history.

I won't even get started on Lost....

As I have stated before....get yourself and AppleTV for the ginormous HDTV and download the shows you want to watch from iTunes without all the damn commericals. The wife and I are on Season 5 of The Sopranos and are about to start watching Big Love from Season 1.

Now that is TV worth watching. Remember, just because everyone else is watching (pop culture) doesen't mean that you should be watching.

~The South Dakota Cowgirl~ said...

It's all good, man.

I do the same thing. It's dark early and since my job is pretty much outdoors, it's easy to sit in front of the tube. You do not need help. Because if you need help, Zach and I need help too! Negative, Red Fox.

I'm a huge fan of 24, American Idol (tried out twice- they hated me) The amazing race, survivor, rescue me, (used to watch nip/tuck), Terminator. I have to add that I'm a Medium Fan too. And I watch CSI (vegas) and Criminal Minds and The Unit. See. You're great!

terri said...

I don't watch anything regularly because I can't gain control of the remote. Ever.

I did used to watch Nip/Tuck in the early seasons loved it. Now all I see is reality shows about car repo guys, loggers, crab fisherman, and scum of the earth type idiots going to jail. We welcome them all into our living room.

Verdant Earl said...

Wait...has the Sarah Conners Chronicles moved to Friday nights? When did that happen?

Anonymous said...

I think you are a "seasonal" television junkie. I read your list and realized I have not seen even one episode of ANY of those shows this season at all. Yet, amazingly enough, I still live. LOL. I have been watching Big Love, Ghost Hunters, and the Office. Those three are it and then I've been watching old Arrested Development Episodes on Hulu.

Anonymous said...

Nip tuck has to be a testing of how far basick cable can go

Bella@That damn expat said...

It's a healthy dose of entertainment.
I'm so sick of all these assholes saying our generation watches too much tv.
What? Like sitting in front of a fire, telling boring stories over and over again was productive? They're just jealous.

Chris H said...

Your list of 'must watch' tv shows is impressive! I too watch some of those and love them.... my list of 'must watch' tv shows is about half what you watch. YOU. ARE. A. TV. JUNKIE!

Unknown said...

I love American TV. I usually read about things on the internet and forget about them until I see them for sale on DVD in the book store a year or two later.

mr zig said...

I say, don't apologize for your TV watching winter lifestyle - embrace it - that's how I dealt with my TV problem. I also put my little one down in time to get to the TV without missing the show :) and I'm not ashamed anymore - that's just who I am - plus sleep is good for kids :)

Anonymous said...

I'm waiting for Dollhouse. I love Eliza Dushku and Joss Whedon, but it does sound a bit "Dark Angel"-esque. Man, I hope they bring the humor and kick ass action. I could use some of each!

Heff said...

TV ate my soul as well. Alas, it only amounted to a SNACK.

Anonymous said...

I am a total tv whore. I always watch tv, I barely have time to do ANYTHING else.

I have just discovered the AMC channel and am now starting to watch old, old movies.

I really need an intervention.

Real Live Lesbian said...

I am a freakin' junkie for LOST. Don't call tonight. Period. ;)

Faiqa said...

Wow. You *are* a TV whore. But, I'm worse, since I probably log as many hours as you do but all I watch is "Gordon Ramsey Kitchen Nightmares," reruns of "Law and Order: SVU,"and, of course, "Lost."

James said...

Sounds like you could easily dump American Idol and Nip/tuck...a couple of the others will free up some time when their season ends.

Problem solved onto the next...

I am amazed someone could watch even a fraction of that much TV. I Really, really, don't watch ANY tv shows. Except the Apprentice when that comes on once a year. But I do like to watch films 2-3 times a week.

Slyde said...

deb: thanks for the link... ill look into it.

bruce: im with you on everything except 24 and the bachelor

cowgirl: you tried out on AI? thats soo cool! did you get on tv?

terri: yes, the early nip tucks were truly great.

earl: yup, it did. i posted the details on your crappy blog.

Ookami Snow said...

I only watch one show a week, The Office.

Also Top Chef if I happen to see that it is on.

Slyde said...

teeni: i tried big love, but im just not a fan.

bella: i agree with you. sometimes the "good old days" werent necessarily better.

Lifeofkaylen said...

I'm with you on almost every one of these shows.
I am going to blog about this on my blog too, but I think 3-4 regular shows a week is not a horrible thing. Less than 2 hrs a day? Ha-not a big deal.

I also like the mtv Real World competitions--they used to be called The Duel, I think last time it was something different, because it's got all the people I "know" from the Real World/Road Rules (which hasn't been on in ages anyway) and it has challenges-which I love.

I just saw Bad Girls Club for the first time recently and it is like Rock of Love or Flava of Love---absolute lowest of the barrel women desparate for attention and absolute trainwrecks. I can not look away. Ever.

Unknown said...

The ONLY thing I watch that you watch is Survivor. And last night, for the premier, I wondered for second if you would be on it, then I remember how far in advance they tape it, so maybe this time next year we'll see you on their, huh?