Thursday, February 26, 2009

Going “Commando”

Tonight, I am going to a pajama party.

You heard me correctly.

My son’s school is sponsoring one tonight. Last month the school promoted a “TV-Less Tuesday”, where the TV wasn’t allowed to be turned on for every Tuesday for the entire month. Each week he had to bring in a signed ditto confirming that he conformed to his TV-less goal. It was hard for the little scamp, but his teacher told him that every student who managed to make it through the month would get a special prize, and bless his little heart, be buckled down and went SpongeBob-free for 4 days last month.

(Of course, he DID watch me play Mirror’s Edge on the Playstation a few times, but he didn’t actually “play” anything, did he? After all, “I” sure as shit never promised not to watch any damn television, did I?)

Anyway….

His “prize” turned out to be an invitation-only pajama party tonight, and he is super excited. He spent about 2 hours last night trying to decide which PJs to wear tonight. It was a rough competition (in which Spider Man and Mario made strong showings), but in the end, I do believe we have settled on his “Wii” pajamas, with the logo plastered all over.

Anyway, he needs an escort to the event, of course, so who better to take him than the world’s hottest daddy?

Anyway, I got to thinking last night. The invitation just says “Pajama party”. It doesn’t SPECIFICALLY say that only the kids are supposed to be wearing pajamas.

So, do I wear my pajamas to the event tonight? Are other people going to wear their pajamas? What if I show up WITHOUT wearing my pajamas, but all the moms there have THEIRS on? What if they are all wearing outfits like the ones pictured above, and I’m sitting there in jeans like a dolt?

What if alcohol (and cocaine and ecstasy) is served, and everyone gets smashed and all the hot MILFs decide to have a sexy bisexual pillow fight? I probably won’t be asked to participate if I’m not dressed accordingly.

Of course, I’m not entirely clear where exactly all the 6 year olds are supposed to BE while I’m off having a 40 on 1 orgy with their all of their moms. I guess I haven’t exactly worked through this whole scenario yet. But I want to be ready for anything.

Of course, the REAL wrinkle in this situation is that I almost always sleep naked. I find that it’s the best way for people to check out my rock-hard abs, toned chest, bulky biceps, and muscular ass while I sleep.

Now that I’m thinking about it, I actually don’t OWN any pajamas.

So, should I just walk in completely naked?

I don’t think it will scar my son too badly, will it?

37 comments:

Candy's daily Dandy said...

You friggin kill me dude!! You are on bloggy FIRE lately too!! Sizzling. HAHAHAHA!!

Anyway(in between giggles)you sooooo need to show up in pjs and since you really should take this very nice opportunity to show off your hard earned biceps-find some really cozy pair of fuzzy pj bottoms-that of course show off your rock hard ass-and a skin tight, pristine, white wife beater. Just cuz all the ladies (and you) are on a diet don't mean you can't look at the menu.
Umm hmm, MILF special today:Slyde Eye Candy.

*whoo* now I'm all hot and bothered.

Slyde said...

candy: you know, i was kidding until i read your response. now im all hot and bothered too....

dizzblnd said...

What if alcohol (and cocaine and ecstasy) is served, and everyone gets smashed and all the hot MILFs decide to have a sexy bisexual pillow fight? I probably won’t be asked to participate if I’m not in my dressed accordingly

OMG I spit water on my monitor. I think going naked by scar your child for life.. I did however see feetie pajamas for men with flames and stuff all over them at Tar-jay. Maybe those will be better.

Maybe.. you will get lucky and score with one of the hot moms

Have fun

Marie said...

Dude, I just wish I had half of your imagination. I would wear pjs. In fact we had a pj party for cubscouts and the "cool" parents wore theirs while the other parents sat around looking uncomfortable. I wont ruin it for you by telling you if there were any pillow fights.

Bina said...

If it were me? I wouldn't worry so much. Those women would LOVE to see some hot sexy stud like yourself naked and ready to go. But perhaps you could wear a robe, "just in case"? I mean, whose to say there aren't other dad's going to be there?

And yea, I sleep naked, too, but diferent reasons than you, obviously.

GeologyJoe said...

you should just wear your son's spiderman pjs.

~The South Dakota Cowgirl~ said...

omg. you make me laugh so hard!

Slyde said...

dizz: i would SO be into a pair of feetie pajamas...

marie: see? i was starting to not beleive my own story until i read this!

bina: any other dads will just have to find their OWN milfs.. these are mine!

geology: thats an idea... i hope the material gives a little...

cowgirl: thats what im here for! :)

April said...

I agree, feetie pj's all the way.

B.E. Earl said...

Funny, but why does the very real pajama party for the kids creep me out a little bit? Nothing to do with the adults in tow, mind you. Just something creepy about the school setting it up. As a reward. I dunno.

terri said...

Are there really an abundance of hot mommies in your school district? I'm trying to think if I've seen any hot daddies at recent school events, but... Nope. None that I'd like to see in (or out) of their pajamas.

I'm guessing they'll hold off on the alcohol and drugs for this event. Maybe at the next PTA meeting though.

Paige Stanton said...

I agree with Geology Joe, you should wear the Spiderman Pajamas!

AlleyCat said...

Yes, yes yes!
The Spider Man Jarmies!!!!!!!!!!!!

Raechelle said...

Make that 3 votes for the spiderman pj's!
Totally lmao!

Dr Zibbs said...

You should wear those PJs with the bog ass flap on the back but wear them backwards.

When a MILF says, "They're on backwards" say,

"No. It's that big"

i am the diva said...

Slyde, you are fucking hilarious almost ALL the time! lol. i'm stumbling this.

Louise said...

I think you should get some Wii ones to match your son's.

Being Brazen said...

wear pajamas and big bunny slippers ;)
The ladies love bunny slippers...heehhee

Have fun!

Tamara said...

I believe in naked sleeping too, but I keep a stash of pretty PJs in my closet just for such occasions. You're welcome to borrow a negligee if you like.

James said...

Slyde-what I want to know is-what are my mum and sister doing on that photo on your post?

2abes said...

good luck! Can you really keep up with 40 women? You better bring along the "Deli counter take a number dispenser", otherwise there may be fighting to be the first in line.

Sass said...

Oh my goodness...

OR...you could go the opposite route, and decide to fit in with the other parents, and wear an outfit like the girls above.

I'm. Just. Sayin'.

Heff said...

Dude, you honestly CAN'T go wrong with "onezies". Just make sure they've got "the flap", just in case...

Cuz said...

you are too funny.

just wwear some sweats & a tshirt. LOL

Michelle said...

NAKED!!!

Or PJ's that you can fling off very fast if need be!!!

HAVE FUN!!!

Slyde said...

dizz: happy to have made you spit... just dont swallow..

april: another vote for feeties..

earl: you are a weird duck... i never thought of it that way at all..

Slyde said...

terri: beleive it or not, there ARE a decent amount of milfs by me... must be something in the water..

paige: another vote for spidey

alley: and another for spidey! hes popular today

rachelle: and 3 for spidey.. its a hat trick!

Slyde said...

zibbs: i think i like that answer the best so far...

diva: ALMOST all the time? how DARE you, woman!

louise: if they made them in my size, id have em already...

brazen: somehow i think bunny slippers would ruin my manliness just a tad..

tamara: if im allowed to come pick them up WHILE you're sleeping naked, its a date..

Slyde said...

james: you must have had a very happy childhood!

abes: 40? i start to slow down around 80...

sass: hey! i'd look damn fucking good in a silk nightie..

heff: i wonder if they still make them? i think they went out with the depression..

cuz: no, thats not sexy at all..

michele: velcro pjs! i like it!

Chris said...

I think the best look for a guy to go with, is just a wife beater - and no bottoms/underwear.

Slyde said...

CHRIS: how the hell did you know i wasnt wearing pants in my picture?

Chris H said...

Ah Slyde, you are full of shit. Borrow some jamas and behave yourself.

teeni said...

Poor mini-you. He has no idea the competition he is going to have with you when he starts getting interested in the ladies! LOL.

Faiqa said...

I think you should wear that teal teddy that the woman on the right in the photo up there is wearing. You'll be the most talked about parent in school, Mary.

Faiqa said...

Oops. Turquoise not teal.

Ali said...

At first I was gonna say to go commando (I'm a big fan of nekkid myself), then I thought you should go with the Spiderman pj's, because really, those jammies would show EVERYthing (meow!), but then I thought, if you really want to fit in, I hope you went with what the ladies in your pic were wearing...

...this is what I get for reading this post after the fact. Now I can't wait to hear what you wore - though the longer I type, the more I hope you wore nothing ;)

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