Thursday, February 12, 2009

Are You Kidding Me?

This is an actual email I recieved from a co-worker. This email went out to the entire company.


To: The Entire Company

From: Ditz

Subject: 2009 Expense Reports

This message is to inform all management that the corporate expense report form has changed to better serve the company's needs for 2009.

The new expense report can be accessed by clicking on the "Reimbursement" tab on the corporate intranet.

After viewing it, you will notice that there have been some major changes. As such, no 2008 reimbursement forms will be honored if it is submitted as of today.

Please look over the new form, and if you have any questions, please contact me directly.

These changes will help better streamline accounting reimbursing everyone, so please LET'S GET IT RIGHT FROM THE GECKO.




I sat there, staring at the screen, dumfounded, for about 20 minutes, before I recovered enough to pick up the phone and give her a call. She is, after all, a friend of mine (and kinda hot.... i'm not sure why i just added that part... oh who am I kidding, we ALL know why I added it), and I thought that maybe if i pointed out her typo, she might still be able to save face and retract it.

"Hey, I just read the email you sent out"


"So, you said that you wanted us to get it right from the gecko!"

".... and?"

"And? And you used the wrong fucking word. The phrase is 'get it right from the get go"

"No, it's not. I've heard that said a hundred times, and it's gecko"

"A gecko is a fucking lizard. Why would anyone say lets get it right from the lizard?"

"I don't know, but thats what they say"

"No one says that, except idiots"

"Did you just call me an idiot?"

"I don't know.... do you really think people go around saying 'lets get it right from the lizard?"

"I KNOW they do."

"Then yes, I'm calling you an idiot"


The best part is that by now she must KNOW she was wrong, but I still haven't heard a peep from her.


I had THOUGHT that was to be the funniest thing that happened to me today, until my hetero lifemate Earl just called earlier, and told me that one of his favorite TV shows is "Law and Order: S.U.V".

When I stopped laughing and asked him if they drive around solving crimes in a Ford Aerostar, he promptly hung up on me.

It really IS hard being this perfect in a world filled with such imperfection....


Dr Zibbs said...

That reminds me of a friend that was working with this really dumb chick. Someone in the company died and she sent a memo around. It said among other things,

Don't take life for granite.

Anonymous said...

Due to rising fuel costs, NBC plans to downsize Earls favorite show to Law and Order: Moped. The shows new motto " Its alright to watch as long as your friends don't know". Got to pee like a racist. See ya.

terri said...

I almost hate to point this out, because that was damn funny.... but... a Ford Aerostar is NOT an S.U.V. It's a minivan. A really ugly one. I know because I used to drive one of those ugly grocery-getters.

I'm always tempted to say "Law & Order SUV" but so far I haven't slipped up.

Speaking of genius coworkers, one of mine accidentally forwarded an email to the entire company that might be viewed as racist by some. The big boss was not so pleased.

Slyde said...

zibs: thats a great one!

abes: i like it. L&O: Moped!

Terri: believe it or not, Earl actually corrected me already on that. I totally cop to not knowing at all what an SUV is... i drive a convertible because im the shit.

Chris H said...

'get go'... is correct of course.
Trust you to point it out to her.
Poor Earl.... ahhhh NAH!

Chris H said...

SUV ~~~ SVU... you are a shit! No wonder he hung up.

~The South Dakota Cowgirl~ said...

this post was so fucking funny I had to share it with the boyfriend. Hilarious. I'm still LmAo!

Verdant Earl said...

Terri - thank you! I told him that if he told this story that he would sound pretty dumb not knowing what an SUV was. I mean, sure...I had a slip of the tongue and said SUV instead of SVU, but at least I know what an SUV is. And yet, here he relayed the story. Pretty sad. Looks like more folks are on my side of the fence there jackass!

Shania said...

Nope, not missing the joys of the corporate world at all.

Faiqa said...

I say Law and Order SUV ALL the time. And I'm completely NOT an idiot.

Ali said...

Bwahahahahah! From the gecko?!?!? That is freaking priceless! I'm going to start saying that too - or else something like "Let's get it right from the komodo dragon" or something as equally awesome.

And I've made that same slip up as Earl, so I can't judge. Though I'm partial to watching SVU: Pedal Bike.

SK Waller said...

This reminds me of a big argument I had with a friend many years ago. He thought the saying was, "If you think that, then you have another THING coming." He never admitted he was wrong. Fucker.

I'll be remembering this gecko story for a long time. Thanks!

Michelle said...

This is hilarious!!!


Please let us know what happens tomorrow with the hot stupid girl and the email!!!

:O) Thanks Slyde, love ya right back!!!

Mrs. Hall said...

my outlook email at work has been broken for three weeks. First they tried to change my entire settings, which changed my log-in code. Only they didn't tell me. So there I was, about to see patients without having any access to their charts. My email was still broken though.

Then, they add a "6" at the end of my new log in code. I started to get some mail, but not all.

Then, people could only email me if I emailed them first and they responded.

That still works. Except when I email them it comes from "Helen Hall" instead of "Holly Hall".

I call every two days to see if there is any progress on my email.
Right now, they have brought the problem to the 'national guys'.

but I don't really care. I HATE INTEROFFICE EMAIL!!

stupid waste of my time.

If you want to talk to me, call me or stop by my office.


ok sorry about that. lot of frustration here ;)

Anonymous said...

LOL. I think your buddy there has seen too many Geico commercials. And Earl, well ... he's just Earl. :)

Sid said...

Hahaha. that's frigging hilarious. just related this story to my entire office.

Tamara said...

Hehehehe... what a silly woman.

Reminds me of that post I did on misheard song lyrics awhile back ( My favourite misheadr lyric is "My anus is the centre hole," instead of, "My angel is a centerfold" from Centrefold by the J Geils Band.

Unknown said...

I just don't get how people like this make it through life. My daughter, who thought up until the age 12, that it was "the smorning" rather than "this morning"

Unknown said...

I loved the "gecko" line. I'm still smiling about it.

Thanks, Slyde.

Anonymous said...

omg, I cannot believe that someone in your company actually sent that out. some people are morons! lol

Anonymous said...

omg, I cannot believe that someone in your company actually sent that out. some people are morons! lol

GeologyJoe said...

geckos are people too.

i am the diva said...

Oh my fucking God, i was laughing out loud, hysterically, and i read it out loud to my bestest-friend over the phone, and we decided that its the new phrase for 2009. Get it right from the gecko.

your conversation with her is priceless. i have stumbled thee so more might partake in this hilariousness.

Heff said...

I've actually heard the "Don't take life for granite" line, myself.

Yes, don't swap your life for rocks.

Fucking idiots.

Unknown said...

From the Gecko??? Sounds like something one of our kids, under the age of five would say! LOL

Fragrant Liar said...

Too funny. You had me laughing from the gecko. It's kind of like the kids' verbiage: When are we going to gymnaskicks? or I'm going swimming with the boys so I'm going to put on my baiting suit. Except those make some kind of sense...

MJW said...

Thanks for the lizard story. How funny! Great blog!

Anonymous said...

LMAO! This is what I miss about office life, slip ups of the most momentous kind.

I love the 'don't take life for granite' quote.

Anonymous said...

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mr zig said...

hehe that's awesome :) i'm gonna start saying Gecko!!!! I'll tell people I read about it on the internet, so people will accept it as the new way :)

Bruce Johnson said...

Gawd awful funny. I work with several of these idiots, both now and in the past.

A similar episode happened to me when a young and naive co-worker was transcribing a statement in which the legal term "Errors and Omissions" was spoken. In her half with GED educated brain, she typed "Arizona Missions" on the paper. That had the office rolling on the floor for a week.

"The client should refer to the 'Arizona Missions' clause of their liability contract regarding the settlement of the wrongful death claim."