
You heard me correctly.
My son’s school is sponsoring one tonight. Last month the school promoted a “TV-Less Tuesday”, where the TV wasn’t allowed to be turned on for every Tuesday for the entire month. Each week he had to bring in a signed ditto confirming that he conformed to his TV-less goal. It was hard for the little scamp, but his teacher told him that every student who managed to make it through the month would get a special prize, and bless his little heart, be buckled down and went SpongeBob-free for 4 days last month.
(Of course, he DID watch me play Mirror’s Edge on the Playstation a few times, but he didn’t actually “play” anything, did he? After all, “I” sure as shit never promised not to watch any damn television, did I?)
Anyway….
His “prize” turned out to be an invitation-only pajama party tonight, and he is super excited. He spent about 2 hours last night trying to decide which PJs to wear tonight. It was a rough competition (in which Spider Man and Mario made strong showings), but in the end, I do believe we have settled on his “Wii” pajamas, with the logo plastered all over.
Anyway, he needs an escort to the event, of course, so who better to take him than the world’s hottest daddy?
Anyway, I got to thinking last night. The invitation just says “Pajama party”. It doesn’t SPECIFICALLY say that only the kids are supposed to be wearing pajamas.
So, do I wear my pajamas to the event tonight? Are other people going to wear their pajamas? What if I show up WITHOUT wearing my pajamas, but all the moms there have THEIRS on? What if they are all wearing outfits like the ones pictured above, and I’m sitting there in jeans like a dolt?
What if alcohol (and cocaine and ecstasy) is served, and everyone gets smashed and all the hot MILFs decide to have a sexy bisexual pillow fight? I probably won’t be asked to participate if I’m not dressed accordingly.
Of course, I’m not entirely clear where exactly all the 6 year olds are supposed to BE while I’m off having a 40 on 1 orgy with their all of their moms. I guess I haven’t exactly worked through this whole scenario yet. But I want to be ready for anything.
Of course, the REAL wrinkle in this situation is that I almost always sleep naked. I find that it’s the best way for people to check out my rock-hard abs, toned chest, bulky biceps, and muscular ass while I sleep.
Now that I’m thinking about it, I actually don’t OWN any pajamas.
So, should I just walk in completely naked?
I don’t think it will scar my son too badly, will it?