
My fragile ego just can’t handle Facebook.
First, I need to back up a bit to tell this story.
When I was in high school, there was this girl who I used to see around. Let’s call her “Mary”. Mary was a year younger than me, and hung out with a different crowd.
She had a rep for being a ‘bad’ girl. She hung out with the derelicts of the school. I, on the other hand, hung out with those studs in the Drama club. As you might guess, we never really spoke to each other. Aside from noticing her and her KILLER body strutting through the halls, I didn’t even know her name, and I didn’t think she even knew WHO the Hell I was.
Cut to my senior year in high school, when fate put Mary and I in the same gym class (which is about the only class we COULD ever take together. Rumor had it she was on the verge of dropping out of school, while I was an Honor Class stud).
Anyway, it was getting near to the end of the school year, and the end of my time in high school. As I’m sure you all remember, that is a time when everyone has their school yearbook in hand, getting old friends to write a few words down to remember them by. Gym class was a prime time for writing in yearbooks.
One day, in one my the last weeks of school, while I was in gym class getting people to sign my yearbook, who should walk up to me out of the blue but Mary. She looked at me and said, “Slyde, it’s a shame to see you go. I wish we had stayed better friends.”
Huh? I was pretty sure I had never so much as spoken to this chick my entire life.
When I asked her what she was talking about, she floored me by telling me an AMAZING story.
Apparently, when we were both little tykes in grade school, we were pretty good friends. I would flirt with her all the time, pulling her pigtails and whatnot. Being a year older than her, I went off to Junior high and left her to endure another year at our grade school.
She said that missed me terribly, and was very excited when the next year rolled around so we could be together in school again. She said she saw walking down the hall on her first day of Junior High and ran up to me to say “Hi”.
She said I looked at her like she was an alien and said “Who the heck are you?”, and kept walking.
Years later, I sat open-mouthed on the bleachers as this girl told me this story. She said that she had been CRUSHED for the way I treated her, and had went home crying that day. It upset her for WEEKS afterward.
I have NO FUCKING recollection of this girl when we were kids. None. I don’t remember her as a kid, and I sure as shit don’t remember ever talking to her before that point.
Anyway, that day, she signed my yearbook with a very heartfelt message, and then we talked. And talked. Then we talked some more. We exchanged phone numbers and spoke to each other that night. And for the next 3 months, before I went off to college, we spoke often, and even went out together a few times.
Over the years, I have thought about her often.
So, imagine my surprise when I logged on to Facebook this week, and upon clicking on the “People You May Know” link, happened upon who else but Mary!
Very excited to be get the chance to speak with her again, 20 years later, I quickly “friended” her and added the message “My god, can you believe it’s been so long? Isn’t Facebook great?”
I was NOT at all ready for the message I got back from her.
“Sorry, who are you again? I’m sorry but I just don’t remember you”
Her? Not remember ME?
At first, I thought she was making a joke (or getting me back for the way I had treated HER all those years ago), but upon further emails with her, I have determined that she is either ready to take this joke with her to her grave, or…….
… or she REALLY doesn’t remember me.
How the HOLY FUCK is that possible?
I have photo-quality-like recollections of every chick who I have ever gone out with, even if it was just a one night stand! I had broken this little minx’s heart 20 years ago, for God sakes! And she doesn’t remember any of it?
As I said, my ego is having a hard time wrapping its head around someone ever forgetting dating ME. Can you imagine?