Saturday, December 20, 2008


Yesterday, I trudged through the blizzard that us New Yorkers got hit with yesterday, to pick up my father at the airport. He and my step-mom will be staying with me for the holidays.

This will be the first Christmas I’ve spent with my father in 17 years.

It will be a very special Christmas for me, to be sure. After my parents divorced, my father packed up and moved down to Florida, within just a few months after he left my mom. He doesn’t have a lot of money, so flying up here for the holidays was never an option.

Hence almost 2 decades without seeing my dad on Christmas.

They say that divorce is much harder on young kids than when they are older, but I’m gonna call “bullshit” on that one. It pretty much sucks no matter what age you are. Even little things, like where you are going to spend a holiday or special event, turn into logistical nightmares where SOMEONE’S feeling always seem to get hurt.

I’ve called my dad on the phone every Christmas eve, but it’s not the same of course.

So this year should be special. It WILL be.

Of course, it won’t be perfect.

How CAN it be this year?

After spending 39 Christmas’ with my closest friend, I would be lying if I didn’t say that the empty chair to my right at the dinner table this Christmas Eve will hurt like a fucking white hot poker through my eye. As I’ve said, I of course knew that my grandfather’s health had been failing, but I really thought that the old bull had one more Christmas left in him. I wish I had known better.

So, what have I learned this year?

That the Good Lord, in all his wisdom, gives, and sometimes takes away.

I still don’t know if this year will be the best, or worst, Christmas ever.

As soon as I figure that out, I’ll let you know.


Mrs. Hall said...

If you lived anywhere near us, we would bring our daughter over to play with your son whilst we all enjoyed a few Tom and Jerries.

Then maybe we could through some cards and bullshit the night away.

I hope that this would ease some of the pain and hurt.

But, at least I can offer you virtual hugs and good wishes.

I wish a very Merry Christmas to the Family Slyde :)

Anonymous said...

Ah, Slyde. Each Christmas is special for different reasons. Enjoy any quality time that you get with the special people in your life, no matter whether it is a holiday or not. You are right - nothing is ever perfect. But it can still be good. And maybe there is a reason why one special person will be here for you this year when another one can't. I wish you a very warm and wonderful holiday, buddy. Live it up!

Dr Zibbs said...

I get you're going to have a great one.

Michelle said...

Hey there good friend:
I think this Christmas will be a very great one for you and your family!!! It's just a feeling i have dude!!

Your such a good man, the Good Lord knows that!!!

Merry Happy Christmas to you!! I am glad to have made your acquaintance bro!!!

i am the diva said...

Have a great holiday, slyde. i'm glad you'll get to spend time with your father, and your grandfather - wherever he is now, knows you'll be thinking of him.

Unknown said...

I'm sure it will be the best Christmas you have had in a while Enjoy every minute of it. Merry Christmas

James said...

Have a good Christmas Slyde. I am sure you will find something good in it. You are not a negative type of guy.

James in England.

Chris H said...

I think it's awesome that your Dad is going to spend this important Christmas with you! You will feel the loss of your Grandfather of course, but perhaps having your Dad with you for the first time in so very long will help make it easier for you.
Power of the Positive mate...

badgerdaddy said...

Is it any help to think that, in having your father over, you're letting your son spend his first Christmas with his granddad? I think that's pretty damn special. I also think you'll have a good one. Don't focus on the loss - think back to how wonderful the previous 39 were, and then have a think about how you can help make your son's just as special.
Sending big lovin' to ya, in a straight-but-might-turn-for-you kinda way. x

Verdant Earl said...

I'm sure it's gonna be a great one. Different, but great. Our first Christmas after Dad passeed away turned out to be a great one. So you never know.

Unknown said...

I'm sure it'll be a great chance to reflect on previous Christmas memories and make great, new ones :)

Marie said...

I wish you the best Christmas ever!

Enjoy your father and family and spend the time you need enjoying the special memories of your grandfather.

Anonymous said...

Best wishes for a merry Christmas!

Unknown said...

Here's to a great healthy Christmas.

In Italian we say, as a sort-of wish, "tante belle cose." It means may you have "many beautiful things."

Bruce Johnson said...

Christmas is as good or bad as our expectations of it. Have low expecations of Christmas but remain optomisitic and it will be one kick-ass Christmas.

(Happy Holidays)

Anndi said...

This is how I see it... I say your Gramps sent you your father for Christmas.