Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Television Eats My Soul

If you’ve come here for any amount of time, then you will know that I am a shamefaced TV buff.

Even WORSE, I am a Reality TV fanatic. I watch more and more of it each year, and I hate myself for it. I know it is pointless, self-serving television with NO redeeming value, yet I can’t seem to stop myself from tuning in, week after week.

Anyway, the 2008 season got underway 2 weeks ago, and I figured it might be interesting to tell you all what I’m currently watching each day of the week, and why.

True Blood – Didn’t I just tell you guys last week that this show sucked? Didn’t I JUST say that I was going to give it one more week before deleting it from my Tivo? Well, I watched it again last week, fully prepared to hate it, and I have to begrudgingly admit, I kinda liked it. LEAGUES better than the premier episode. And I thought the ending was good and creepy. The episode was good enough that I have to give it a stay of execution, and tune in again next week to see if it continues to make the cut.

P.S. I think I want to bang Anna Paquin.

Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles – Last year this show was hit or miss, but I thought that last week’s premier was really good, and this week didn’t disappoint either. This show was on my “cancel” bubble all of last season, but so far this year I am enjoying it. If you are a fan of the Terminator universe as I am, you MIGHT want to avoid it, as they are mucking with much of the history of the movies, but if you can cut them some slack, you will have some fun with it.

P.S. I want to have a hot steamy threesome with Summer Glau and Lena Headey.

Prison Break – Been watching it from Season 1, and have loved every minute of it. Each season they basically reinvent the show, and make it something different than what came before, and this year is certainly no different. I’ll watch this show until the bitter end.

P.S. I need to have sexual relations with the chick who plays Gretchen.

Fringe – I’m sorry, but I am just not feeling this show at all. I loved the X-files with a geeky passion, but the much-hyped premier of this show left me completely underwhelmed, as did last night’s second episode. I’m giving this show 1 more week to “WOW” me, else it’s history.

P.S. I need to have a naughty sleepover with the chick on this show.

Real World/Road Rules Challenge – Basically Survivor, but culled from the hottest people from past seasons of all MTV’s reality shows. Plus, they give the 30 contestants a beautiful mansion on the beach stocked with booze to live in, instead of a dirty tent and a bag of rice, so all the chicks always look their best and are continually drunk. Nightly drunken orgies are commonplace.

P.S. I want to sleep with just about EVERYONE on this show.

Nothing. Sweet nothingless, bliss.

Politically Incorrect – I’m ashamed to say that this is pretty much where any knowledge I have of world events comes from. Bill Mahr can be either a prophet, or a dick, depending on which night you watch him.

P.S. I’ve decided that I do not want to have sex with Bill Mahr.

Saturday Night Live – I haven’t missed an episode in about 10 years, and I have no fucking clue why. For every skit that makes me laugh, there are about 50 others that I could have written in my sleep. But I’ve watched it from the very first season (when I was way too young to be doing so), and watching a taped episode of SNL on Sunday morning has been a ritual of mine for about 20 years now.

P.S. I would very much like to impregnate Kristin Wiig.

Of course, the fall season hasn’t really even gotten underway yet. In the next few weeks, I’ll be adding Survivor, Amazing Race, The Bad Girls Club, The Real World, and Dexter to my watch-list. Then of course winter brings me American Idol, the Apprentice, Lost, Battlestar Gallactica and 24.

My God, when I write it all out like that, it makes me ashamed to draw breath.


Anonymous said...

I recently visited the States, back to the scene of the crime, so to speak. I love the TV there, all kinds. Flipping the channels is fantastic. Here in Italy it's just not the same.

Unknown said...

Um, let me guess. You are CONSTANTLY thinking about sex, right? And yet, I wasn't mentioned at all. Of course, I don't have my own reality show, yet. If I did, it could be called, "Who wants to sleep with Slyde?"

Slyde said...

mikeb: i agree that we have some kick-ass variety here, compared to most other places, anyway..

bina: As long as i could be the only contestant, im in. we'd have some fun....

Ali said...

And you gave me grief for watching Desperate Housewives? You should be ashamed! Reality tv is lame! And pretty much as far from reality as you can get!

Knowing this, I may have to rethink our entire relationship...

And nice job on leaving yourself Thursday and Friday for a sex breather, we wouldn't want you to exhaust yourself :)

Denise H. said...

What about 90210 Slyde. Come on... I know you watched the original just admit it.

As for the rest of your shows the only one that I have seen is Real World Road Rules and I think that it is sucking this year. I have loved all of the other seasons but this one I don't think I will give it one more chance tonight and then I am over it.

Anonymous said...

Wow. You need to give up some of those shows so you will have more quality time for other things. You know, like blogging! ;) Yes, your post was quite timely after mine. LOL

Slyde said...

ali: ok ok i take back my desperate housewives shot on you. I cant go thru any more relationship woes with you anymore... this is a very rocky relationship.

Denise: how could u be giving up on it? we've only seen 1 episode so far (i beleive #2 is on today)?

The only thing i DIDNT like about the first episode is that they dropped alot of the old timers this time around.

teeni: i know i know... its too much. To make up for it i do not turn my TV on all summer

SK Waller said...

Didn't you get some for your birthday?

Anonymous said...

I didn't see the premier, but I watched an episode of Fringe last night and I didn't hate it. Considering the other crap out there, I'll probably watch it just to fill time. They are working the girl Mulder angle too much, but I'm liking the guy and his dad.

Angie said...

I am with you for Wednesday night... but the rest I will have to pass... so when you sit there watching the show... think of me... oxoxoxo

Slyde said...

steph: unfortunately, no.

honey: yeah, i didnt mean to imply i didnt LIKE fringe, i just dont love it... maybe not enough to justify an hour a week..

sunshine: ok, you and me, every wednesday night.. its a date.

Verdant Earl said...

Just for the record. On that little spat we had last week here in the comments section about True Blood?

I was right. Nyah!

Mrs. Hall said...

I adored "Flava of Love" on VH1. Unfortunately it cost me my right to cable. Such is the ebb and flow of marriage I guess.

And I reallllyyy misss it, cable I mean.

o-btw-your womanly post is next!

there will be lesbian action.

well, sort of.

hee hee


Mrs. Hall

Bruce Johnson said...

With the exception of "The Amazing Race" I won't be watching any of these shows.

90% of my television viewing is now done off of my AppleTV and consists of stuff I download off the net. In effect, I am my own network and program what I want to watch.

My latest find is "Moral Orel" from the cartoon network. Downloaded it and I am enjoying watching the modern day Davy and Goliath that is VERY politically incorrect......sweet.

Anndi said...

No dancing? C'mon babe... dancers are H.O.T.

Chris H said...

Hmmm havn't hear of more than half of them ... being DOWN HERE has it's BENEFITS me thinks!

Michelle said...

I agree about True Blood!! Much better this past week!!! I am sticking with that one! Everything else you watch, well lets just say i understand why you want to bang all the hot chicks!!! Even Palin huh???


Chris said...

2 things -

Anna Paquin is from Winnipeg (my home city!)

The best reality show is "Wipeout". That shit makes me laugh out loud.

P.S. 24 is the best show ever made.

Anonymous said...

I LOVE reality TV as well. Too many to mention!


=) Bella

Ali said...

Alright - let's make up.

badgerdaddy said...

Holy crap... that list is bamboo for the eyes.

Sweets said...

i only know prison break... i live in africa so what did i expect? :) i love the saucy actors in prison break, that is the only reason i watch it cause honestly... how is it possible that those people can just never get a break in this life time!!!

Caz said...

OH MY!!! Michael scofield (Prison BReak)is one of the hottest men on the planet.
But sweets is so right. the plot drags on.

Anonymous said...

Still on the fence with True Blood...a little to campy to be a good vampire show

So far all in with Terminator - just have to ignore all the inconsistencies to the original Terminator movies. Your dead on about the three some.

Prison Break is always good. However you can have Gretchen, I want T-Bags secretary. She's Smokin!

I do watch Politically Incorrect and thats it until Survivor, Amazin Race and Dexter.

No fault of mine, TIVO also gets Project Runway, House, So you think you can dance and What not to Wear. Yeah, kids want to fill up the dvr with all kinds of stuff.

Slyde said...

earl: you most certainly were NOT right.. the 1st episode sucked!

mrs hall: lesbian womanly action! im so there!

lotus: how r u finding your appletv? i had wanted to get one when they first came out, but heard terrible things about it.

anndi: yes, they are :)

Slyde said...

chris h: yeah, i didnt think you'd know any of these..

michelle: yeah, even palin :(

chris: no argument there. After a 1 year hiatus, i am mega looking forward to 24.

bella: yeah, sometimes it does.

Slyde said...

ali: mmm, making up is the best part..

badger: i know i know.. dont make me feel worse that i already do ...

sweets: yeah, those PB guys certainly havent had a lucky 4 years now...

caz: i'll take your word on the "hotness" factor

Slyde said...

abes: yeah, right. project runway is all you..

Bruce Johnson said...

Regarding the AppleTV, it is basically a small DVR that interfaces with iTunes. Its only limitation is the size of its hard drive (about 40gigs), but I hear they are bigger in the newer models. 40gigs will hold about 30 movies.

Like any good peice of hardware, it is a matter of knowing how to hack the thing. If you know how to use Quicktime Pro, it will convert almost any video to AppleTV format (m4v). So any AVI, MPG or WMV format media I can find on Usenet is mine for the taking and viewing.

The fact that it also interfaces with YouTube and Flickr through the television is an added bonus.

Based on the stuff I have been watching, the British and the Canadians have much better television than we do in the States.

If you want to go mano-y-mano in a wargame, check out my latest blog entry.

Slyde said...

lotus: the thing i had heard about appletv was that it had promised hi-def viewing, but for many movies there was an issue where it was actually degrading the signal, making it look worse than it should have.

i had also heard that apple was NOT happy with it and was not really supporting it anymore...

in the end, i opted NOT to get an appletv, and just use an a/v cable to connect my 60gig video ipod into the front of the tv. works like a charm.

Anonymous said...

You are a naughty, naughty boy Slyde. It is amusing that in Happy Horny Slyde World, Bill Maher is the only one not getting in on that action.

FourLeafClover said...

That's alot of TV. Sadly, I don't watch too much TV anymore... but methinks that's a good thing.

Tamara said...

I have four channels and there's nothing but crap on all of them. I kinda envy the fact that you have so much choice. But then again, nithing would ever get done if we had more TV!

Slyde said...

gypsy: well, i DO have standards (no i dont)

4leaf: it probably IS a good thing for you..

tamara: 4 channels? at least count i think im at 830...