Monday, September 15, 2008

Surprise!

Some of you may remember that I recently turned 40.

For a few months now, I have been worried that Friz was going to plan a surprise party for me, as she did for me on my 30th.

If you read my birthday post, you might have gleamed from it that I have a small problem with getting older, and I’ve been dreading 40 all Summer. I have made repeated pleas to her, throughout the summer, asking her specifically to NOT throw a surprise party for me this year. She ASSURED me every time that we were NOT having a party for my 40th, and since my actual birthday was over 2 weeks ago now, I had finally believed myself to be safe.

Hey, guess what happened to me on Saturday?

Yup, she got me. Two weeks late just to make me feel safe, but she got me.

On Saturday, we were supposed to be going out to an early dinner with her in-laws at a local restaurant.

Imagine my surprise when I walked in, only to be slammed in the face with about 50 of my closest friends and family…..

…. and Earl.

Although you might be surprised by my cyber-ego, I actually find it a bit unnerving to be the center of attention of so many. But in the end, I didn’t explode or spontaneously combust, and I actually had a very fun time.

Friz wrote a saucy poem that she read to the group, which got a fair share of laughs, mostly at my expense. One of my oldest friends that I hadn’t seen in ages was there, as was my niece, who drove all night from college just to make it.

In short, it was nice.

Funniest part of the event: When I walked in, looked around and realized what the Hell was happening, I stared at Earl for a good 5 minutes before I realized exactly who the fuck he was. We always joke that, about every 5 years or so, Earl completely changes his look (unlike me… my studly look is timeless), but it’s completely true. I hadn’t seen him in about 6 months, and his new “Big Lebowski” look completely threw me for a loop. I kept asking myself, “Who’s date it that? Who the hell IS that guy?”

After the festivities, a group of us went out to continue the drinking and merriment at a friend’s house. Whenever the group of us gets together (rare) and alcohol is involved, it tends to get a little out of hand. Let’s just say that, from now on, the next time a sexy woman shoves a 2 foot rubber double dildo down my pants, it’s probably best to call it a night.

Lesson Learned!

At any rate, I’ll try to get some pictures up in the next week or so (I didn’t take any, but my double dildoed friend sure did, and she promised to email me some).

So in the end, 39 went out like a lion after all, and I proved (at least to myself) that I can still party as stupidly as I did when I was 21, and I have some truly kick-ass friends and family.

In the end, that’s not a bad lesson to have learned after all

29 comments:

Steph said...

Party now while you can. You won't be able to party like that when you turn 50...

Hee hee... Now you have 10 years to worry about that!

Glad it was a good one -- I'm envious!

Melanie said...

a dildo? you got a dildo for your 50th? what kind of sick friends do you have!

;-)

Slyde said...

steph: see? now THAT is exactly the kind of talk that depressed me!

melanie: no, no one gave me a dildo. I just suddenly "had" one. i think one of my friends had one in their closet.

i didnt ask any more questions....

Steph said...

God, I'm such a lesbo that I read the whole thing and the word dildo never even registered any shock value. LOL!

Mrs. Hall said...

@ Steph too-

ok-potter's ground is updated with new clues.

should be pretty easy now.

0-and it's Mrs. not missey!

:)

Michelle J said...

Dude how cool is that?? A surprise party 2 weeks late is still wonderful!! Will you ever post pics of the party you and Earl included?? I guess no but i'm asking nicely please!!! :O)

Seriously i am glad you had a good time, dildo and all!!!

Michelle

B.E. Earl said...

Just so you all know.

It wasn't my dildo.

Thank you.

Sunshine said...

a double dong dildo... one could only wish and smile at... if anything a lesson learned would be two is better than one ( or at least two sides are better than one... :) ((oxox))

Ookami Snow said...

Lesson learned for me too.

teeni said...

Awww, that's awesome, Slyde! Happy belated birthday to you. And good for Friz for hiding such a big surprise from you.

FourLeafClover said...

I hope I'm as awesome as you are when I turn 40 :)

badgerdaddy said...

I have to agree with FourLeafClover.

Shame Earl got in before me - I was going to ask if it smelled of him...

Your wife sounds pretty awesome.

Chris H said...

I'm thrilled you did enjoy your "surprise" party and didn't shrivel up and die turning 40! I'm awaiting me 50th Birthday Card too.....lol.

Tamara said...

Well done to yer woman! You and Earl and a double-dildo definitely make for an interesting post ;-)

sweets said...

i would have had to change my panties after the SURPRISE!!! part... i don't do surprises, at all :)

glad your wife got you good!!

Slyde said...

steph: see, when i read something that has the word 'dildo' in it, thats ALL i see..

mrs hall: i call EVERYONE missy...

michele: i'll post pics, but i'll have to crop earl out. i have no problem showing myself, but he freaks out like a little girl..

earl: no, i would NEVER put your dildo down my pants..

Slyde said...

sunshine: do you realize that you turn me on with every single damn one of your posts?

ookami: see? im educational!

teeni: thanks! it was fun!

4leaf: when YOU turn 40, i'll be like 90....

Slyde said...

badger: yeah, she's a'ight.

chrish: yeah thats right.. big 5-0 is comming up for you right quick, isnt it?

tamara: if i could have replaced Earl with a hot chick, i would have done it in an instant...

sweets: fortunatly, i had just taken my panties off an hour earlier...

2abes said...

and you thought the biggest surprise of the day was the party...dildos, drinking...i don't think i want to see the pictures...hopefully the only thing you had the next morning was a headache and hangover.

Flip Flop Momma said...

oh yes, the ever loving surprise birthday parties...people who throw them 4 us unsuspectin folks outta be shot, and if its your spouce, u take away the slap and tickle 4 a couple, well...hours..

I hate being the center of attention as well, unless its on the internet where i dont have to look or talk to anyone..

Real Live Lesbian said...

Party on and Happy Birthday!

The 40's certainly aren't as old as they used to be! Frankly, I don't feel a day over 25!

Slyde said...

flipflip: no slap and tickle for a couple of hours? HOURS? i have a libido too, ya know..

reallive: thats what everyone keeps telling me.. i guess it must be true :)

that gypsy girl said...

Sounds like a hell of a time! We usually just go down to the college dive bar that our friends own and try to party like rockstars. We spend the following day nursing terrible hangovers and vowing to find better things to do for the next time...
Thanks for the comment about my relationship with my mom, it comes across much better in theory than in practice. I think we just have arrived at an understanding of sorts. You know, It is what it is, and such.

lotus07 said...

Not to worry, with advancing age comes the ability to totally forget that this incident happened within 4 to 5 months. Enjoy it while the memory lasts.

mr zig said...

Anytime a dildo appears gets an appearance at a party you know it's a good party!

Slyde said...

gypsy: i agree... i have not had a voice since my party, because apparently im too old to yell now, without serious repurcussions

lotus: what incident?

mr zig: that was my thinking as well!

Bina said...

Sounds like a GREAT time. And man, why can't something shove a big one down MY pants?? You are so freaking lucky it's not even funny.

Slyde said...

Bina: Every single damn answer i have to you will get me slapped. I'd better shut my mouth.

Sunny said...

Surprises are wonderful things after all :)