Thursday, September 04, 2008

Son of a.....

Wow, I should post about getting old EVERY day! Thanks to all you sexy people for the warm thoughts and birthday tidings. They warmed the cockles of my heart. Actually they didn’t, but I just liked writing cockles.

Anyway, sorry for being AWOL this week, but between the weekend, my birthday, and the Labor Day holiday, I took a little break away from the computer to enjoy my last remaining days of the Summer, not to mention being in my 30’s. I even took the past 2 days off work, which is the REAL reason why I haven’t posted, since I do all my blogging on company time.

Anyway, how was the big day?

In a word: Uneventful.

It was the strangest thing. I woke up Tuesday, looked in the mirror, and I didn’t look the least bit different. I’m still devilishly handsome, and my abs were still as rock hard as they were the night before.

Also, I’m apparently still in control of my bowels since I didn’t poop my shorts in the middle of the night. My teeth are still intact, and I still seem to have the libido and sexual stamina of a young Colt, so being 40 hasn’t affected me too much so far.

Honestly, it really DID bother me. I sat up on the night of September 1st, literally watching the clock for the last 30 minutes of the day, not wanting to see it hit midnight.

Then the strangest thing happened: The clock DID finally turn midnight, and I didn’t feel any different.

Anyway, on Monday I went out to Captree State park here on Long Island for a Labor Day/Birthday party with a boatload of my friends.

It was a beautiful day, filled with beach-going, cookouts, fishing, and more alcohol than I can apparently handle.

Case in point:

At one point during the day, I was sitting on a beach chair, completely blitzed out of my mind. To the right of me there lay a beach bag containing some spare clothes and blankets and whatnot, and to the left of me lay a cooler filled to the brim with ice water and beer.

So, when everyone decided to take a dip in the ocean, does anyone wanna guess where, in a fit of drunken idiocy, I decided to place my wallet and cell phone?

If you guessed, “The beach bag”, then you don’t apparently know me very fucking well.

No, in my near catatonic state I apparently thought it the better decision to place my wallet and cell phone into the beer cooler.

Surprisingly, wallets and cell phones don’t like being submerged in freezing water for 3 hours.

So, I spent the better part of my birthday using a hair dryer on my credit cards and money. The cell phone, I fear, is toast. This will piss me off to no end, since I have some pictures of my grandfather on there that I have been meaning for a dog’s age to download, but just never did. If I lose those pictures, I will NOT be a happy 40 year old.

I left the phone out in the hot sun for the past 2 days, and it seems to KINDA work once in a while now, but I think for the most part, it’s done.

Which royally pisses me off. I LOVE my phone. It was $200 worth of Bluetooth, voice-recognitioned, GPS goodness. Sniff.

So, tomorrow I guess I will be fulfilling my prediction of going out and buying something expensive for my birthday after all.

This was NOT exactly what I had in mind.

43 comments:

B.E. Earl said...

You had a birthday this weekend?

Slyde said...

earl: i hate you.

limpy99 said...

Sounds like age-related dementia to me.

Steph Waller said...

The beer cooler? Slyde, the beer cooler???

2abes said...

Shows to go ya, drinking and cell phones don't mix! Still sounds like a good day at the beach.

Michelle J said...

Slyde dude what is up with you my aging friend?? You scare me! Here i thought you had it all going on and you go and do an elderly kind of thing!!! Sheesh!! No more drinking on birthdays!! Well, except mine of course!!!

Michelle

Slyde said...

limpy: ya know.. it just might be.

steph: i know, i know.. dont get me started.

abes: yes, the day was splendid, despite the sogginess.

Slyde said...

michele: to my credit, i really thought i had my shit together when i was drunk. of course, i was sitting in a beach chair, and not moving 1 bit, so i guess in hindsight it was easy to think i was coordinated..

honeywine said...

cockles...cockles...cockles Heh, it is fun. lol

Mrs. Hall said...

I guess the only thing I have to add is despite all my mental prowess and natural ability to wax poetic, imbibing booze leaves me giggly and idiot like.

Actually, it is kind of fun for me. To get a break anyway.

Bad for Mr. Hall though.Apparently I need "looking after" when I am in such a state. I’ve lost cell phones too.

hee hee

:)

Mrs. Hall

Sunshine said...

You had me at cockles...
smooch!!!!!!!!!

Melanie said...

cell phone sch-mell phone... just get a chip inserted into your head!!!! and you can transmit thoughts. problem solved.... :p

happy birthday mr. !!!

τ ħ€ ĐάЎđяёάmёя said...

awwww..a i will pray for the quick recovery of ur phone...but nex time at least save the pics before it gets lost...


seems like nuffin has changed..seee I told you na :P

take care... have fun..and sumtime evil thing happens for good..see u got two revelatioons that mobile don like water and u will have to get a new phone :P
lol

sweets said...

cockles.... such a strange word... but then again you're a strange guy with rock hard abs so i guess that's ok...

cockles
cockles
cockles
cockles
cockles

i was trying to type it as fast as possible... so i guess i'm strange too

:)

Ruby said...

i hate to do this to you hun.....but it's definitely age induced...he he:) seems like apart from your little erm...mishap, the birthday went off just fine:) Glad you enjoyed it

Lesley said...

Happy Belated Birthday.... Started on a good note and then went slightly sour hey...
It sux about your phone, I guess you won't be doing that again in a hurry...
Glad you enjoyed your birthday and just remember your only as old as the woman your holding... Oh, I hope your wife is a little younger than you or that won't sound so good hey.
Hugs,
Lesley

Bina said...

Damn! I missed your birthday!! I SUCK big time! ;-)

Well, aside from the phone and wallet thing, sounds your b'day was okay. Just another day, right?

But the thing that got me is, "Colt" and "Rock Hard Abs"!

Cuz said...

OMG, you put your phone in the cooler? LOL

Go buy the Decoy....maybe you can buy 2, 1 for me...LOL

It's got the bluetooth attached to the back of the phone & it's touch phone too.

Slyde said...

honey: it is, isnt it?

mrs hall: yeah, booze makes me a big silly pants, too.

sunshine: smooch! right back at ya!

Slyde said...

melanie: and WHO are you again? i dont believe ive seen you 'round these parts in years!

daydreamer: thanks! yeah, ill probably be getting another phone today.

sweets: 5 cockles so fast? you are a speed-cockler!

Slyde said...

ruby: yeah, overall it was kind of a big nuthin'

lesley: unfortunatly, shes 2 years OLDER than me!

bina: good! at least i "got you"!

Slyde said...

cuz: that may be what i buy.. im going later..

Cuz said...

akkkkkk really? i want that phone SO BAD.............

just spent $200 on a glove for Billy Jr. who knew baseball gloves were THAT MUCH MONEY??? LOL

Slyde said...

cuz: ouch! thanksfully, all of my sons interests are "wii"-related...

Cuz said...

OMG, sneakers are over $150, not to mention jeans/shirts/hoodies.

I told him I work JUST to be able to buy HIM things......LOL

Anndi said...

On the bright side...




um...



well...




you didn't fall and break your hip.

sybil law said...

Well, Happy Belated Birthday!
Sounds like we'd be a lot of trouble if we hung out together! however, I never lose my cell phone and I've never even dropped it in water, no matter the mass consumption of alcohol.
If I just jinxed myself I am blaming you!
:D

kaylee said...

AWWWW how does it fee to be 40? you know thats crerpy up there a bit LOL! Thats all I will say!


BTW just got over the trauma of that last post of yours i read!

Linda and her Twaddle said...

Oh, yeah, right. That is the oldest trick in the book! Ruin your outdated phone to get one of them new Iphone thingies. Next thing you will be dropping your old computer in the bath tub!

Kitty Cat said...

You're funny! Loved reading this!

Ali said...

You said cockles. Hehe. Cockles. lol.

ANYways - I'm a bit late - was on vaca, sorry about that :)

Happy 40th birthday you sexy Sicilian man! (How are your cockles now?)

It's a shame about the phone...but just a teeny bit funny. But now you can UPGRADE!!! That is, if upgrading is possible from what you had...says the girl who barely knows how to operate her own blackberry.

Alyssa said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
mr zig said...

Thats what ya get for not wanting to treat yourself to a good birthday present! Nature made SURE you buy yourself something! (by the way, i've been stopping by for a while, but I think this is my first comment - at least I can't remember commenting before this - Anyway, I really enjoy your blog!)

Slyde said...

cuz: 150, for sneakers? kill me now!

anndi: ah, another broken hip joke!

sybil: i never lost MINE before last week either!

kaylee: so glad that i can induce trauma!

kitty: thx! :)

ali: oh, i upgraded, baby! i'm sure ill talk about it this week..



linda: believe me, if it werent for the fact that id have to drop verizon and go to att, id have an iphone already.

zig: welcome! always nice to hear from previous lurkers :)

Letty Cruz said...

Hey hot stuff! Thanks for dropping by my dusty blog and showing it some love -- more love than my butt has shown it lately XD

Anyhey, am finally getting around to catching up on my blog reader faves, and just may update if I have to brain cells to scratch together and light a fire tonight :)

... oh man, just read the last paragraphs, yeah, feel your pain: lost my celly last month and have been carrying around a free piece of dog poo from Verizon for further indebting myself to them. Will be shopping for one with a cam/GPS/etc next week, feel naked without a camera phone now <-- great security item esp if you're female AND have taken the funniest pics a couple of times that I couldn't have gotten away with any other way (e.g., at the BofA teller line, a woman with "TRAILER" hollering out of her meth teeth,etc, wearing cut off jean shorts with HALF her cottage cheese butt cheeks showing and everybody in the line and the tellers trying SO hard not to look like they're looking!) ... ooops, I digress AGAIN. OK take care and MUAH!

Slyde said...

letty: any chick who stops by here and writes a freaking BOOK in my comments will continue to get all my bloggy love :)

Tamara said...

Hehehehe... The cooler box is still better than dropping it in the toilet (after using it) like one of my friends did. And he's only 23 and was sober at the time, so I don't know what his excuse was.

Subconsciously you wanted an upgrade, you gadget junkie.

Slyde said...

tamara: the toilet? ugh.. i guess he was then had a shitty phonecall..

lotus07 said...

The beginnings of senility are never a pretty thing.

Slyde said...

lotus: are you saying that from hearsay, or experience? :)

Caz said...

Haha, you are such a beaut!

Caz said...

PS I tagged you on my blog. Sorry :)

Slyde said...

caz: dont be silly! i'll check it out now :)