Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Current Addictions

Well, good news for you guys!

I was all set today to tell the spine-tingling story of how I was attacked by a cricket last night, or my son’s first day of school, but as luck would have it, you have all just been saved from that drivel by the lovely and talented Caz, who just tagged me with an interesting meme.

The task set upon me for today is to discuss 5 of my current addictions. I’m sure if I thought hard about it, I’d have more than 5, but here are the first 5 that come to my mind. These are in no particular order… it’s just a list of 5 things that I am fairly obsessed with.

1) Grand Theft Auto 4 – Damn this game is eating up a lot of my nights. What a totally evil, addicting sickness this game is! I bought my Playstation 3 over the summer so I could finally start my Blu-Ray collection, and NOT for playing games. Well, its been 3 months and the only Blu-Ray movie I have is Rambo which is the one I bought when I got the PS3. No, instead of movie watching, the bulk of my free time has been spent stealing, killing, and robbing everything in sight in GTA4. The game really is a marvel. Any video game that lets me hang out for hours at a strip club and get virtual lap dances is ok in my book.

2) A Song of Ice and Fire – Has anyone read these books? If you haven’t, you should. George R.R. Martin’s tale of nobility, treachery and war set in the backdrop of a medieval/fantasy setting is one of the best series I have ever read. I have become obsessed with these books, and have vowed to read them all, back to back before I read anything else (I’m currently halfway through book 2, “A Clash of Kings”).

Interesting side note: George R.R. Martin, while a great writer, is an asshole. As many of you know, I don’t actually ‘read’ much anymore, preferring to listen to audio books off my Ipod. Well, when I discovered my local library didn’t carry these books on audio, I decided to write the author himself to see if he could direct me where I might purchase them. To my surprise, he quickly responded and gave me a link to a site where I could buy them. I clicked on the link, only to discover that the cds were selling for $175 each! They were listed as a collector’s edition (whatever the hell THAT means for an audio cd). No way I was going to spend over $600 to read 4 books!

When I wrote Mr. Martin back and asked if he knew of a site where I could purchase just a regular copy of his books (a typical audio book sells for about $30-$40), he wrote back:
“Sorry… I just writes em, I don’t sells em! Guess you’re on your own!”.

So, at that point, pretty peeved, I wrote back:

“Well, I don’t buys them, I just pirates them! Thanks for being a smarmy jackass. You just made my decision to steal your book much easier. Bye!”

He’s a pompous ass, but damn does he write a good book.

3) Internet Porn – I’m not sure if you guys realize this, but apparently the World Wide Web is a pretty good place to watch pornography.

Lately, I think I’ve been partaking of this vice a tad too much. It’s just so easy… and it’s free! Anything you could ever dream up is only a few clicks away. Threesomes? Check! Lesbians? Check! Skydiving Orgies? Check, check and check! It’s all there!

I may need to join David David Duchovny in his sex addiction classes.

4) Alfred Hitchcock – I’ve always been a fan of the man’s work, but last spring I decided to plug Hitchcock into my TIVO and start recording everything he’s ever done.

This man was amazing! Aside from the old classics that everyone knows (Psycho, The Birds, North by Northwest, etc) the man made DOZENS of other movies that I had never even heard of. Rope, Number Seventeen, Jamaica Inn, as well as about 50 others, and so far I’ve loved them all.

5) My son РNo matter how corny or clich̩ it sounds, my little one is the absolute light of my life. Even though there are days when I want to just staple his pants to a chair, no other creature on earth amuses or entertains me more, and lightens my heart after a hard day.

Our current “thing” is for me to lay in bed with him at bedtime and read him a story. At first, the stories were nothing more than some nursery rhymes or some Dr. Suess stuff. Over time, we have graduated into bigger and bigger books. The ones we are reading now, “The Magic Tree House” Series, is taking its toll on my voice each night as each book clocks in at about 120 pages!

I could care less. I’d read 1,000 pages to him each night if it meant I got to sit there and see that big smile on his face while I read to him. I feed off of his innocence and unquestioned love like an addict, soak it all in and come back for more. He is my anchor and my grounding force.

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Anyway, that's it. I realize it's not often that I compose a list that encompasses my love of both my son, and rampant pornography, so enjoy it for what it is.

I always hate tagging people, but since he hates BEING tagged, lets tag Earl.

p.s. Yes, the banner pic is my little mini-me, taken a while back. I wonder where he gets his big ego from?

33 comments:

Cuz said...

I know how you feel. I've known Billy Jr. since he was 3 (he's now going to be 19) and there is nothing better than spending time with him, texting him, or shopping with him. He lights up my life and I love him like crazy.

Slyde said...

cuz: he's going to be 19? damn, i cant believe hes that old now....

lotus07 said...

No one tagged me, but I am in a generous mood today:

1) Currently I am making my way through the Pacific Theater during WWII on my GameCube (Medal of Honor: Rising Sun). I must have killed about 400 japs so far. I am just about to waste and Aircraft Carrier. Talk about living history.

2) I don't read much, reading is for loser and internet porn watchers

3) (see #2) [seriously, if you love the porn thing, Usenet Newgroups are way to go more picture and video porno than you could ever watch in a lifetime]

4) Hitchcock, got a bunch of his stuff on LaserDisc and VHS, haven't watched them all, but I know what I will be doing in retirement, when I have the time (Rope is just sort of a weird movie, every shot is 15 minutes long with no edits)

5) Children??? I have a dog, does that count?

Chris said...

I have to agree with you, my daughter is my #1 addiction now.
That, and my trusty PS2. SOmeday I'll own the PS3, and that's the pitch I plan on using with my wife - "But it's for the blu ray. You'll notice a difference, I promise".

B.E. Earl said...

I'm addicted to rejecting memes.

Thanks for affording me this opportunity.

Melanie said...

are out sons the same age? kindergarten is fun!

oh and internet porn? Is your wife aware of this addiction? scary... totally.

Chris H said...

I'm addicted to blogging, FULL STOP, END OF STORY. I'm glad to see your son on the list... I was starting to wonder.......he should have been Number 1!!!

Chris H said...

Of course ... I'm NOT addicted to me kids... I'm sick of kids. But then, I've been a mother for almost 30 friggin years ... so the cuteness has worn off A BIT!

Cuz said...

yep, he will be 19 in March and is close to 6ft tall. LOL

teeni said...

Your little one is adorable! Great shot. And now I'm interested in reading that jerk's books after the way you described them. I may have to steal the pirated copies from you when you are done with them. LOL.

Ali said...

Seriously - does my husband not realize that I READ this blog? Nice try on the pitch Chris, but I'm already saying no - lol!

Anyways - I'm not really a big fan of fantasy/medieval stuff, but those books actually sound pretty great :) Plus, your emails to Mr. Jackass totally impressed me.

Internet porn...um, glad that you have a healthy sex drive? :)

And your son is an absolute doll - gorgeous even. I can see how he would be an addiction.

Sunshine said...

Play station 3 sits in my sons room and goes through the stages of battlefront 1 and 2, along with a variety of other games... I do not bother with it...
Magic Tree House books are great... I get this view from being a Third grade teacher...
( yes, slyde I am a teacher... )
Never did the internet porn thing.. too scared I will be "outed" and you will hear about me on the evening news " Elementary school teacher busted for watching porn on the internet"
And my favorite thing no matter how nutty he may drive me either over the edge or to srink, is my 10 year old son. Hard not to smile and laugh whenheis around... CHildren are a good vice to have.. they keep things simple...

Michelle J said...

Your little man is really very adorable!!!

Me, i'm obsessed with all things apple. Is this bad??

Oh, running too. I'm obsessed with running!! Is this bad???

Michelle

Caz said...

aaah slyde you made my day. thanks for making the cheesy meme thing cool. YOUR SON IS GORGEOUS!!!!!
soooo cute!!

Tamara said...

Slyde, you are indeed the only person I know who would group your son, getting to hang out in virtual strip clubs and internet porn in one list.

As everyone has noted, your little one is super gorgeous. And I'm guessing your response will be, "like father, like son" ;-)

badgerdaddy said...

Hmmmm... Can't really see what George RR Martin did wrong there - he answered your question with a place he knew you could buy them, right? Then you come back and ask for somewhere else... I'd have replied saying "What, you want me to come round and read them to you as well??" I think he was pretty good in replying twice, and you were a little ungracious and expected a bit much from him when it's relatively easy to find audio books online.

I'm just saying. I still think you is a stud.

I've only read one of his books but it was wonderful - have you read Fevre Dream? It's one of my favourite vampire novels, and might be what you're looking for in the light of the show you hated the other night, as it deals with vampires finding a replacement for blood, but all takes place on steam boats in the deep south in years gone by... It's a top book!

sweets said...

that is one cute little guy right there!! :) you make nice babies slyde, i'll keep that in mind :)~

2abes said...

WOW, I was expecting to read of expensive booze and cheap hookers. Its great to read about the time you spend with your son. Keep up the good work.

Slyde said...

lotus: im impressed. ... i never figured you for a medal of honor freak.... thats a good game!

chris: i think the jig is up, man! shush!

earl: you must comply! resistance is futile..

melanie: yes, our sons are the same age... and yes, she has caught me a few times..

Slyde said...

chris H: yeah, i almost added blogging to my list as well..

cuz: 6 ft! wow, he was a little peanut last time i saw him

teeni: ive got em when you're ready!

ali: im not a medival buff either, but this stuff is very good... great, human characters...

Slyde said...

sunshine: mmmm, i never knew you were a teacher... thats almost as good as being a sexy librarian.. at least in my fantasies...

i may be bad and have to stay after school :)

michele: not at all.. ive got alittle apple obsession as well..

caz: thanks for this meme.. it was fun!

tamara: of course! i wasnt kidding when i said he was my little mini-me.. he looks EXACTLY like me..

Slyde said...

badger: but thats just it... go TRY to find books 1-3 on audio.. i dare you! i searched high and low for them, to no avail, before i bothered him with an email.

I agree that answering my email was swell, but to be so haughty as to expect me to shell out 700 bucks for his books as an acceptable answer is just rude...

sweets: you'de better!

abes: those things were on my alternate list...

honeywine said...

I bet you have to bring your own baby wipes to those meetings. Pretty sticky in that rehab, I bet.

limpy99 said...

1)Heroin
2)Crack cocaine, but not that elitist powder stuf
3)Playing the ponies
4)Tea Leoni. Sorry Dave.
5)Re-runs of Bonanza.

badgerdaddy said...

buuuuuut... If that's the only place they're available, then he's answered your question and it's up to you if you buy or not!

You're still a stud.

Sunshine said...

It may entice you more if you knew I was a teacher in a catholic school ??!!!! ((wink wink))

Sunshine said...

It may entice you more if you knew I was a teacher in a catholic school ??!!!! ((wink wink))

Sitting in Silence said...

LO>..Shit...your blog is a classic...I love it...I laughed so hard I just about fell off my chair.....

Your son is adorable...love the picture ..

Slyde said...

honey: i bring a whole box!

tea: yeah, ive always had a little thing for tea as well :)

badger: is this our first fight?

sunshine: "entice" is not the word for it.. i may have to sit in my office for awhile....

sitting: thanks, and thanks!

Cuz said...

Just saw my "baby" last night... He starts a new job on Monday so of course we went shopping for new clothes for him and I was so ridiculously happy just to be with him. I can't explain it....LOL

B.E. Earl said...

Everybody clear out!

Slyde and badgerdaddy in a catfight.

Meee-ow! :)

Slyde said...

cuz: if yo take ME clothes shopping, ill be happy too!

earl: dont even start with catfighting stories, after your little row you had yesterday with your cyberbuddies...

Cuz said...

anytime....