Wednesday, August 06, 2008

Quite Possibly The Stupidest Person I’ve Ever Met

And no, contrary to the title, this isn’t another post about Earl.

Does everyone remember that ridiculously expensive remote control speedboat I bought my son last week? Of course you all do.

Well, I (I mean “WE”) had much fun playing with it this weekend, until my son, in a fit of glee, dropped the damn controller into the pool.

After fishing it out, the boat just wasn’t the same. When I pushed the buttons to move the rudder, it went in reverse. When I hit reverse, it went forward. You get the idea.

We let it dry out in the hot sun for a bit, and while it MOSTLY came back to normal, the poor boat just didn’t act quite the same anymore.

So, being a good consumer, I decided to exercise my God-given right to return something that I have broken for a new one.

Now, keep in mind that when I bought the boat last week, it had been mis-marked at $8 dollars cheaper than it really was, so the cashier gave it to me for the reduced price (this is important!).

So, I took the boat back to the pool store yesterday and attempted to do the exchange.

After telling my tale of nautical woe to the cashier, who looked to be about 19 years old, told me “no problem” to my request for an exchange, and while I went to get a replacement boat, he began to ring it up.

This is where it starts to get fun.

When I returned with the new boat, he looks at me with a puzzled look on his face, and says “This is weird. They must have raised the price of these boats since you bought yours. The new one is 8 dollars more.”

“Ooooookay”, I leerily replied. I had a sense I knew where this was going, but I refused to believe it.

“Ok, so your difference is $7.86”.

“Excuse me?”

“The difference in price is $7.86””

“That’s great. Can I leave now with my new boat?”

“Sir, you have to pay the difference.”

“Why? This is an exchange”

“I know, but you still have to”

“Why? That’s Ridiculous”

Now he was starting to get perturbed. “No it is NOT ridiculous.. that is the only way I can tie out the register”

“Again, that’s not my problem. I am not paying extra for something I am returning”

“You have no choice, sir”

“Really? Ok, then. Instead of an exchange, I’ll just take a refund.”

“Ok, sir”

“Of course, since you keep telling me that is how much the boat costs now, I expect I am getting refunded at the higher price, correct?”


“Then, I’ll just buy back the old, cheaper boat again, and keep doing that over and over again until I can pay my mortgage, ok?”

“Yeah, I guess that’s not gonna work, is it?”

“No, it’s not. Can I have my damn boat now?”

“Sure. Have a nice day.”

It shouldn’t be the highlight of my day when I can mentally tap-dance around a brain-dead high school kid, but I’ll take my small victories where I can.


Chris H said...

That kid didn't stand a chance with you! Well done on scoring a new boat at the 'old' price, you tightwad! lol. Here's hoping your son doesn't drop this one in the water, I doubt you can keep getting away with exchanging them.

Chris H said...


Slyde said...

chris H: yeah, that kinda trick only works once before you outdo your welcome.. hopefully i wont need to make a second try.

Verdant Earl said...

First: Ass!

Second: You would think they would find a way to make the remote control water proof for just this reason. Of course kids are gonna drop it in the water. Of course they will.

You dropped it in the water...didn't you?

Unknown said...

Holy Cow that is so freaking funny! Ya know, you were wrong in so many ways here, but damn, I love to hear a story where the consumer actually wins!

Suzi Q said...

Hooray for you! But at first when I read the title of your post I thought, I highly doubt this story is going to be about someone who is dumber than my receptionist. She really is a piece of work. "Good morning.... uh, um, oh, can I help you?" Yeah, all day, every day.

SK Waller said...

I can't believe they'd even agree to an exchange when it was you, er, your son, who dropped it in the water. This story is funny as hell; I'm all for anyone who can pull one over like that! Good going.

Anndi said...

You know, you could have played with him a little more... I KNOW you still had some smartass remarks in you.

So, what's the next toy you buy for yours... err ... I mean for the kid? *snarf*

Anonymous said...

You do realize you are evil, don't you? But I have to say that I did enjoy this. So I guess I'm evil too. Sometimes. ;)

Sweets said...

shame on you!

LOL... but the end justifies the means after all :)

Tamara said...

Hahaha... you are so low. I love it. I'm with Earl - if it's going to be near the water, why is it not waterproof?!

badgerdaddy said...

Fucking hell, am I the only person here who thinks you weren't ruthless enough???

Slyde said...

earl: Ya know, thats the first thing i thought about as well when he dropped it in the pool. "its a BOAT.. it must be waterproof!"

apparently, not so much

bina: 2 pts for the lowly consumer!

paige: maybe she has a second job? :)

Slyde said...

steph: thanks.. as i said, im all for sticking it to the man.. (that sounds dirty)..

anndi: what exactly are you implying, missy? :)

teeni: miss, sometimes, it absoultely PAYS to be evil..

Slyde said...

sweets: it absoluletly does!

tamara: i would LOVE to know the answer to that myself...

badger: You had me at "ruthless"...

Anonymous said...

you would THINK the boat and the remote WOULD be waterproof....LOL

every store i go into there is always some kinda drama, they don't give you the sale price, no one knows where anything is.....

very, very frustrating and don't me started about talking to people on the phone.....YIKES!!!!!!!!!

Slyde said...

cuz: yup, i HATE dealing with salespeople... car dealers are the worst of them.

Bruce Johnson said...

Let me get this straight, you took back a 'toy boat' that you broke and conned the kid at the cash register into giving you a new one. How do you sleep at night? Do you drown kittens in your spare time as well?

Slyde said...

lotus: pretty much.. is that wrong?

Michelle said...

Thats really funny dude!!!

Anonymous said...

Well, all I can say is your lucky you got the young kid at the checkout.. lol...

Tequila Mockingbird said...

you shouldve punched him in the dick and ran out of the store with your boat. i know you got it, but my way is more fun! and he might even learn a lesson.

Anonymous said...

Was the kid supposed to be stupid because he fell for the twisted logic of "you need to refund me the current price rather than the price I purchased the item for" or because he asked for the $8 in the first place?

Or is he supposed to be stupid for both?

Anonymous said...

LOL I am absolutely flabbergasted that you actually convinced him. Most clerks would have stared back blankly hoping you'd give in.

Slyde said...

michelle: its only funny cause its true :)

tequila: ya know thats funny... my plan 2 WAS going to be to punch him in the dick..

latin: im pretty sure, both

Slyde said...

honey: never underestermate the power i have to outlast an imbecille

Charmaine said...


Your question was totally normal and totally interesting. So much so that I asked him myself.

He claimed to have never have said it.

Seriously, on-line dating is for fools.

elizabeth said...

Should have messed with him longer and then gone back off and on throughout the day and leered at him creepily.

Anonymous said...

sounds like you actually enjoyed the transaction, you should do it again and return the boat and demand the higher price on the return. would make for another great story. btw, they should put one of the wii hand loops on the remote...its all over youtube, people dropping their boat remotes in the water

Slyde said...

charmine: he said he never said it? ok, time to pull the plug on that dude...

liz: now thats just sick!

abes: maybe ill do it one more time just to push my luck

Anonymous said...

Thanks for sharing the link, but unfortunately it seems to be down... Does anybody have a mirror or another source? Please reply to my post if you do!

I would appreciate if a staff member here at could post it.


Anonymous said...


I have a question for the webmaster/admin here at

Can I use part of the information from this post right above if I give a link back to your site?


Slyde said...

sure.. just let me know the link.