Friday, August 29, 2008

I'm Not A Kid Anymore....


This will be my last weekend on Earth as a “30-something”.

That’s right. On Tuesday, September 2nd 2008, Yours Truly will finally turn the big 4-0.

And it scares the living shit out of me.

If you’ve been reading here for any amount of time, you WILL already KNOW this.

I KNOW it’s just a number. I KNOW you are only as old as you feel. I KNOW that I am in better shape than people half my age. I KNOW that I just keep getting better and better looking with each passing day.

I KNOW all that jazz. But I still don’t want to be 40.

I don’t know at what point in my life I developed this insane fear of aging, but I know that I’ve had it for as long as I can remember.

As I approached 21, I remember thinking that this was ABSOLUTELY the last birthday that I ever wanted to celebrate. I remember telling people that I hoped my 30th would never come.

In the end, I actually think I handled turning 30 better than I thought I would. The fear and anxiety of no longer being in my 20’s was finally washed away with the reality that “it was just another day”.

And who knows, maybe I’ll feel the same way come Tuesday morning.

But for now, I can’t even bring myself to think about it.

I’ve tried over the years to take a good look into my past, and try to trace back where and when this fear of getting old first descended upon me. It COULD stem from the fact that, at a very young age, I took care of my bedridden grandmother on her deathbed. It COULD be that I am such an immature big kid at heart that I find it difficult for my mind to get around the fact that my body betrays my true age, even though I don’t feel that old inside. It COULD be the fact that, because my birthday each year inevitably fell the day before the new school year started, that I looked upon my birthday each year with fear and anxiety.

Or, I COULD just be crazy.

At any rate, I think I need to do something wild this weekend, to help get my mind past this hurdle.

Some things that I have been thinking about:

1-Skydiving
2-Buying something ridiculously expensive that I TOTALLY don’t need.
3-Getting another tattoo. (p.s. one day I’ll have to show ya’ll the one I have now)
4-Participating in my first hardcore orgy

Anybody have any other ideas?

In the end, I might just kill 3 birds with one stone and get my tattoo while participating in a skydiving orgy, but it might be hard to pull that together on such short notice.

Anyway, while the rest of the U.S.A. parties through their Labor Day this weekend, I will most likely be hiding under my covers, trying to make my birthday go away.

The next time I post, I will be in another age bracket. Brrrrrrrrrr….

Have a great Labor Day, everybody…..

65 comments:

honeywine said...

Ride an elephant or camel! That one is still on my list. Maybe you could work it into the orgy?

Slyde said...

honey: maybe, but then i'd have to keep the lights on... wouldnt want to have any accidents...

teeni said...

Aww, Slyde - I was afraid too. Although all your reasons were valid fearing it, you will soon be over that hump and will be able to relax a little. Have an awesome weekend and welcome to the old farts club. :)

Slyde said...

teeni: Yeah, until i hit 50!

But thanks, miss!

Michelle J said...

Slyde so i can tell you from experience that turning 40 is really no biggie!! I say get another tatt and buy something really expensive that you totally don't need! Both of those two activities are fun and fulfilling and oooh i know, go for a 5 mile run. I promise running 5 miles is as good or better than sex!!! There i said it!!!

Michelle

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SLYDE!!!!

Slyde said...

michelle: thanks! but i think i'll pass on the running... i love the gym, but running is the one thing that, try as i might, i just cant get into.

Steph said...

Age is all in the mind. I've got 60 coming around a couple of corners and I don't feel a day over 35.

Don't waste your time in dread. Just go live. Do the things you want to do and sod the age thing!

Bina said...

So how many people consitutes a "hard core" orgy? Just wondering.

Man, I've always wanted to go skydiving.

And I don't feel my age, at all, but I guess I'm old. I don't LOOK old, but is 44 old??? Cause I still have a tight butt, kick ass leggs (so I've been told) and I still act like a kid.

Um, by the way, about that orgy.....

Slyde said...

steph: as always, wise words... i know that is exactly how i should deal with it..

bina: hard core orgy is more than 6, i'd say. My record is 4. But anyway, would you be able to get here by tomorrow night? :)

cathouse teri said...

You poor thing. Spending money is always good. So is getting a tattoo. I'm due for another one shortly. (I got my first one in honor of my first grandchild. Now second grandchild's daddy is pestering me to get one in her honor. And then I'll have to get a third eventually, since #3 was born last March! Sheesh!)

So here's the thing. I turned 48 last month. And I can't wait to be 50! I guess I think that, at some point, people will finally take me seriously! Well, that ain't really gonna happen, but it does keep me cheerful about the prospect of aging!

Plus, I have lived about three lifetimes. I figure by the time I start getting wrinkles, I'll deserve them!

Bella said...

Can I just say that I know EXACTLY how you feel??? Mine was a few months ago, but I didn't handle it very well. I still can't accept it, but I'm just happy that I at least *look* younger than I am!

Hope your day is great and hang in there!

=) Bella

Slyde said...

cathouse: yeah, i have been meaning to get another tat for about 3 years now. I keep thinking about doing it, then the summer starts and i forget all about it.

bella: thats my only saving grace too. Most people tell me i look younger than i am. My son the other day said i looked "12".

I'll take it!

CarmenSinCity said...

Well, happy birthday - but I totally know how you feel. I didn't want to be 30, and when I did turn 30 - so I know I'm gonna be freaking out when I turn 40. ugh!

Slyde said...

carmensincity: dammit! i hadnt thought about it in 10 whole minutes, and now youve got me freaking out again!

Paige Stanton said...

Aw it's just a number, in a few years you'll be worrying about being 50! But HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Tamara said...

In Afrikaans there's a saying: "Sterkte" It basically means "strength to you." So yeah... sterkte, Sldye... you'll need it for the skydiving orgy tattoo session. Not so much for the number itself, coz as Paige says, that doesn't mean much.

Mrs. Hall said...

ha-ha. Ya'll are old.

I kid, I kid because I love...

i am wee 32.



I don't recommend a hard core orgy. Someone is bound to poke an eye out.


wait, why do I always read blogs authored by older people? And why do older people seem to gravitate to my blog?

And my husband is almost forty.

And my best friend is almost forty-two?



huh...


well, at least I don't have to use metamucil. And I can eat spicy stuff and go right to bed. no problem.

I kid... I kid..

Mrs. Hall

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τ ħ€ ĐάЎđяёάmёя said...

it's another year buddy...nothing will change except ur resume :)

but if u really want to do sumthing..then really skydiving u can try...it will shoot ur adrenaline so up that u won't feel the old age for ages...

:)

Lemur said...

"2-Buying something ridiculously expensive that I TOTALLY don’t need."

Again?

http://www.slydesblog.com/2006/07/for-geek-who-has-everything.html

mikeb302000 said...

Happy Birthday Slyde.

Here in Italy they say, La vita comincia alla quaranta. Life begins at forty.

artfulkisser said...

Happy birthday Slyde. Naughty 40's don't they say? Hope you enjoy your last few days in your 30's and that the transition is smooth. An American friend here turned 40 last year, got a tat of the statue of liberty draped in an Australian flag, spent his life savings on strippers, most likely participated in his 20th hardcore orgy, probably didn't skydive cos he's scared of heights - and yet surprisingly, he still turned 40. And then got a therapist.

Sunshine said...

I think the hard core orgy is in order.... are you sending invites???

Slyde said...

paige: please! if i start thinking about 50 this weekend i'll hang myself :)

tamara: "Sterkte".. i like that.. thanks!

mrs hall: why, you young whipper snapper? if you were here right now i'd give you a good ol fashioned spanking!

Slyde said...

sara: you maam, are spam. goodbye.

daydreamer: i really thought about it... there is a place very close that does it every saturday for a reasonable price..

lemur: yeah, well theres that. i STILL might use it one day for something...

Slyde said...

mikeb: do they REALLY say that in italy? i hadnt heard that one..

kisser: sounds like my twin.. i'd like to meet him

sunshine: you are FIRST on that invite list, miss! Now go get your blog fixed to i can link to you!

Sunshine said...

I tried and a new somewhat half site comes up for my blog... then when you click on profile two squirrels show up and one is the old blog and the other is new?? just do not get it???

Sunshine said...

Oh yea, by the way skydiving orgy is out for me... the gust of wind may dry us out!!!! (kiss kiss )

Slyde said...

sunshine: hadnt thought of that.. ok, im sure we can work something out.

when you go into the settings on your site in blogger, is rss feed turned on?

HappyWifeHappyLife said...

Hey Slyde - today is MY birthday and I'm 41. So I've got you beat by 1 year and 3 days. And I'm here to say.... it's really NOT that bad.

Chin up. You'll be fine.

-HWHL

Sunshine said...

I am always turned on.. oh I mean my rss feed is turned on...

Slyde said...

happywife: happy birthday to you and welcome! thanks for the encouragement!

sunshine: lol! you sure you are talking about the feed?

Ruby said...

I'm with Tamara on the Sterkte:) Gosh, sometimes i love being a saffer...we have amazing expressions:) unfortunately i can't give you any advice on turning 40, I'm way too young for that:)

Sunshine said...

words cannot express what I am thinking dear...not while I am smiling ear to ear!!!

B.E. Earl said...

Happy Birthday Old Timer.

Welcome to the club.

sweets said...

you do realize you are displaying classic symptoms of a mid life crisis?... mwhhahahahahahaha

omg 40...
where is your vlog so i can see how old you really are!!!

happy birthday slyde!!! pity i'm all the way over here cause i sure would participate...

ah never mind ;)

kiss kiss!
happy birthday!!

Caz said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! :)
Duzzen matter - birthdays are ALWAYS cool... even if you're old ;) hehe.
just jokes. Think about it - Brad Pitt is in his 40s...and hes the most wanted man on earth (supposedly) so it can't be ALL bad!

Linda and her Twaddle said...

I bought a Vespa when I turned 40. After 18 months of nearly being hit by big SVU's every second day I sold it. I was suddenly very aware of my mortality.

Mrs. Hall said...

just an aside-from the last post-about your mom being a peach--

It sort of inspired a post of my own.

:)

Thanks

Mrs. Hall

2abes said...

Happy Birthday, its all down hill from here. By time you hit 50 you won't even remeber turning 40. Better get a couple of little blue pills for your orgy. BTW whats your wii age?

Cuz said...

Happy Birthday!!!!!!!!

I say.......buy something ridiculously expensive that you don't need........LOL

Listen, you COULD be as OLD as I am going to be........LOL

Next year I WILL BE UNDER MY COVERS for the ENTIRE month of Sept....LOL

Slyde said...

ruby: thanks! way to rub it in!

sunshine: you make me smile everytime you post :)

earl: what club? you are still about 45 years older than me!

Slyde said...

sweets: ive put some videos up of myself in the past.. i'll have to do another soon..

caz: thanks! yeah, alot of people confuse me and brad.

linda: yaknow.. ive always wanted one of those things too!

Slyde said...

mrs: cool! i'll check it out now.

abes: my wii age hovers around 28. i can live with that.

cuz: now thats just being silly! you look great for your age!

HappyWifeHappyLife said...

Hey Slyde... well, today's the day. YOU turned 40.

And the sun rose (just like normal), the birds sang (just like normal), my Chocolate Lab stepped on my face when the alarm went off (just like normal).... so see.... ? It's Just Another Day.

Hope you're breathing a BIG sigh of relief, having an ice cold beer, and enjoying your 40th.

Welcome to the Club! And it's really not so bad, is it? ;-)

Sunshine said...

Here's to your BIG BIRTHDAY !!!
Happy Birthday... ( oxoxox )

2abes said...

I think my wii fitness board is defective, it has me at 53...wtf!

Anndi said...

Have you started hicking your pants waist up under your armpits yet?

j/k

SMOOCH

My Honey's over forty and um... you still have a LOT to look forward to. *wink*

Cuz said...

and that's why I love you the most!!! LOL

hey - we both look GOOD!

that gypsy girl said...

Happy birthday (yesterday) to you, Mr. President!
I'm still in my twenties (barely) so I do hard core orgies every Friday and Saturday nights. But, then again, I would like to make it on YouTube once, so pencil me in for the skydiving hardcore orgy...I'll bring friends.

Anndi said...

So.. when are you going to post again? Or have you fallen and you can't get up?

Slyde said...

happywife: yeah, i got thru it, all right.

sunshine: thanks, missy xoxoxo

anndi: thanks! thats good to know!

Slyde said...

cuz: agreed!

gypsy: that would make this the bestest birthday ever! i'll hold you to that (and welcome, btw!)

anndi: yeah, i think i broke my hip.

nah, just took alittle labor day/bday break. i'll post tomorrow.

Sitting in Silence said...

For what it's worth...I hear you on this one...

It's huge turning 40...no matter what anyones says...although in hind site...I reckon 80 might be a tad stressful as well....

Have a wonderful day and enjoy...you'll be 80 before you know it ! LMAO

AlleyCat said...

Happy Birthday!!!! The skydiving orgy sounds pretty tricky! Perhap a practice of one or the other first before combining??? :0)

Hope you had a great day regardless the numeral.

Ruby said...

Me?? rub it in?? never ever ever!!! I'm not that mean:) he he

elizabeth said...

Holy crap dude. 56 comments. I'm friends with the popular kid...

Happy Birthday.

I'm afraid of age too.

elizabeth said...

Holy crap dude. 56 comments. I'm friends with the popular kid...

Happy Birthday.

I'm afraid of age too.

Slyde said...

sitting: 80? my god woman, do you want to kill me?

alley: you know what they say.. practice makes perfect :) thanks for the birthday wishes!

ruby: You? naaaaaaahhh

Slyde said...

liz: yeah, my birthday woes seem to have hit a nerve with people :)

p.s. it helps getting alot of comments when ditzy brunettes double post :)

lotus07 said...

Congratulations on your rapid approach to AARP status. 40 is nothing, when you hit 50, things start breaking down and you start browsing the drug store isles looking for little things that you never though you would need.

As for what you should do? Climb a mountain and watch a sunset while listening to Beethoven's 9th. Puts everything in perspective. Works for me every year. Only, I have to keep finding smaller and smaller mountains.

Abigail Road said...

Happy Belated Birthday...I'm not really online anymore. Catching up on everyone's blogs tonight!

Slyde said...

Lotus: i dont know if i will ever climb a mountain, especially living here on long island... we tend to be kinda... flat.

abigail: hey, long time no see! thanks for the bday wishes!

Denise said...

Happy Late Birthday to You!!! I thought turning 30 was BAD I think that I will be a complete mess by the time I hit 40. At least I have a while to prepare myself.

Slyde said...

denise: trust me.. you NEVER have enough time to prepare yourself..