Friday, August 01, 2008

30 Caliber Post

See what I did there? With the picture up above? Bullets? Get it? Cause this post has bullets, and I put up a PICTURE of actual bullets!

God, I’m clever. Usually people who look as hot as me don’t have much in the brains department, but I seem to have been blessed with an abundance of both. No wonder you all come here so often.

What was I talking about again? Oh yeah…

- Sorry for the late response getting back to you all about my latest adventures at the physical therapist, but I took the day off from work yesterday. Although it seems backwards, I only blog WHEN I’m at work. My free time is much too precious to waste blogging. Go figure.

Anyway, I wish had another salacious ass-grabbing story for you today (and in reality, I COULD just lie and make one up), but this weeks trip to the doctors was pretty much uneventful. This PROBABLY had something to do with the fact this week I had to share my exercise room with some 70 year old biddy on the stationary bike who kept telling us about her grandson, so I’m sure my fine young therapist was a little off put to make her advances.

She DID, however, somehow skew the conversation around at one point to telling me that her boyfriend has to put a pillow between his legs while they sleep because during the night she has a tendency to kick him in the balls while he sleeps.

Now THERE’S an endorsement for having an affair if I ever heard one!’

She also asked me if I was married at the end of the session. Just kinda threw it out there. (and yes, I told her the truth…)

- As I mentioned above, I played hooky yesterday. Took the day to just relax and hang out in the pool with the wee one (I mean my son, not my penis). I had promised to get him a new inflatable toy for the pool yesterday, so I took him to the store, expecting to pay about $20 bucks for some little inflatable lizard or some similar crap.

Of course, I left the store with a RIDICULOUSLY expensive remote control speedboat for us to play with all day. I had no intentions of buying said boat, until my son looked up at me with those big doe eyes and said…

“Daddy, you always told me you just can’t say NO to me”.

And he’s right about that……

- I have continued my ridiculously long and boring exercise of getting all my posts transferred here from the old slydesblog. At this point, I think I have all the old posts archived from about May 2006 or so, so we are nearly done.

There’s just one small problem. When I went back later to check up on some of these old posts, I noticed that Blogger sometimes, for reasons I cannot begin to fathom, changes the font size. The end result is that some posts right now have text so small that they are unreadable.

At some point, most likely when I’m done transferring over everything, I’ll go back and attempt to fix those old posts to make them readable.

In the meantime, if you just HAVE to know RIGHT NOW what I said about my 2006 trip to St. Thomas, get yourself a damn magnifying glass.

20 comments:

B.E. Earl said...

I'll give you my comments in bullet-style as well:

1. Now that you are on Blogger you can use actual bullets rather than dash marks. Just sayin'
2. OK...you can say that your free time is precious if you mean your family. But I know you dude. Your free time is spent gaming. Video and otherwise. C'mon.
3. The remote controlled boat was really for you, wasn't it?

Bina said...

You said balls in penis in the same post! LOL

Anyway, how do you get around these people? I mean, some old lady just said she kicks her boyfriend in the balls while the sleep. I would NEVER admit that!!!!! You must have the magnetism baby!

You are so sweet, and what a sweeting little guy you had, even though you have obviously taught him at a young to be manipulative. Oh, just you wait. He'll be wanting a Viper when he's 16 and using that same look! LOL

Bina said...

By the way, I only blog when I'm at work, too. Hell, I don't have TIME to blog when I'm home!

limpy99 said...

I say no to my kids all the time. Hell, half the time it's the only reason I get up in the morning.

Chris said...

My daughter can't even talk yet, and she already has me wrapped around her finger. Once she learns to bat those eyes, I'm done. I might as well take out another loan to cover the costs of unnecessary crap.....

P.S. I hope she's into remote controlled boats at some point. Those are fun.

Slyde said...

Earl:
1) i TRIED using the bullets, but it looked like it was forcing them to be centered on the page.. it looked like shit

2) alas, you know me too well. I DID play about 2 hours of Grand Theft Auto.

3) see # 2.

Bina: Ack! no, the THERAPIST told me she kicks her boyfriend in the balls, NOT the old lady! Did it come off like that? i'll have to re-read what i wrote...

limpy: you are a better man than me.. i'm too much of a sucker...

Slyde said...

Chris: Just you wait, my friend... just you wait. Sometimes i simply CANNOT believe what i am buying for him...

p.s. the boat frigging rocks!

2abes said...

You have to figure out how to get your gta guy to post on your blog...


i hope you gave the wee one, not your penis, a chance to play with the rc boat...

ya have to make your appointments when the old bidy isn't gonna be there, maybe then the therapist will kick you in the balls...wahoo

Chris H said...

The time will come when you will be able to resist your son't eyes pleading , believe me! Either that or you are gunna be poor till ya die!

teeni said...

LOL. It's kind of mean of you to use your son as an excuse for buying toys. But I loved this post! Sorry you didn't get the normal ego building flattery from your little hussy, I mean therapist this time around. ;)

honeywine said...

OHHHH...she's one of THOSE (i.e.- a manizer...ya know, like womanizer)! She's looking to trade not just dump. I never understood those types. I always needed a break between breakups, ugly or not.

Michelle J said...

Dude your funny!!

Well i don't have kids (yet) so i get to spend all my money on moi!! Sometimes, i give myself those looks like a kid would! Then i have to run to a mirror of course!!! :O)

teeni said...

Slyde, I've tagged you for a meme that I really think your readers and I would like to see your answers to. No pressure, but I hope you can/will participate. :) http://www.vtroom.com/

elizabeth said...

JEEESH. Telling you she kicks her bf in the groin and hitting on you in the same day. Not sure about her style... wear womens underroos to the next appt. lol.

sweets said...

"the day to just relax and hang out in the pool with the wee one (I mean my son, not my penis)"...

LOL
so glad you clarified that cause...ag never mind ;)

Slyde said...

abes: i dont know if thats exactly what im shooting for..

chrish: i'll probabl be poor till i die then :)

teeni: Shes not a hussy.. she's my new girlfriend!

Slyde said...

honey: manizer, huh? ive gotta remember that one..

michelle: yeah, if i try real hard i can remember back to a time pre-kids when i spent money on myself...

teeni: thanks missy.. i'll try to do it today

Slyde said...

liz: i'll do it! can i borrow yours?

lotus07 said...

Blogger is quirky, it takes some time to figure everything out and it is far from perfect, but they are continuing to tweak it over time.

One good thing that I have stared using is the scheduled publish feature, becuase like you, I only blog at work, my free time is way too important. But I have a bunch of things scheduled to publish for the next several weeks.

So if I get killed by a bus this afternoon, you won't realize it until the end of August......sweet.

Slyde said...

yeah, i have been looking at that feature alittle... i know that earl uses it too.

maybe if i can ever catch up on everything i want to post about and get ahead of myself, i'll start using it.