Monday, June 09, 2008

I'm An Idiot

One of the drawbacks to being this devastatingly handsome and sexy, is that I’m not the most “handy” person when it comes to doing things around the house.

You know what I mean… pretty much any of the tasks of daily house maintenance that the man of the house usually takes on for himself, are pretty much an unsolvable Rubick’s Cube of mystery to me.

I don’t know shit about making car repairs, or home improvements, or pretty much anything that most guys seem to have instilled upon them at birth.

I blame my parents for this lack of knowledge, but that’s a whole other therapy session.

What was I talking about again? Oh yeah….

So, Friz routinely asks me to do little “man” things around the house, and I either have to shamefacefully admit that I don’t know HOW to do it, or sometimes, when I’m feeling especially manly, I try to figure out how a REAL man would complete the task at hand, and give it a shot.

Case in point, last week….

We opened our pool up on Friday, so Thursday night I knew I had to do 2 things…

1) Put my bilge pump on top of the cover, so I could get all the water off of it.
2) Put the garden hose in the pool, so I could fill the pool up to the skimmer line and the filter can be turned on.

So, after work Thursday night, I put the hose in the pool, and turned the water on. I then figured I can kill 2 birds with one stone, and throw the pump on top of the cover and plug it in.

Because I’m so smart, I checked to make sure that the water is being pumped off the cover. Sure enough, water is pumping thru the hose all right, onto our stone patio.

With everything looking A-OK, I retired inside to play about 5 hours of Lord Of The Rings Online, (my current videogame obsession).

So about midnight, I remember that I have the pool still filling up with water, and I run out in a panic thinking that the pool is probably now overflowing to the brim with water.

Much to my surprise, the water is NOT going over the top. Although it was tough to see outside in the dark, the water didn’t look to me to be much higher than when I started.

“Wow!”, thought I. “This pool must take much more water than I thought”.

So I stayed up another few hours, and when I again went outside to check the pool, found the water level to still not have gone up.

Then I remembered that last year I bought a new “porous” pool cover. Water seeps thru the cover, but leaves the debris up top.

Then it all came together…..

I had the pump going the entire time! The pump is sitting on top of the cover, sucking through the cover all of the water that I am filling the pool with, and gushing it out onto my patio.

So, in essence, I basically turned on my garden hose and watered my patio for about 8 hours.

In retrospect, it really isn’t my fault. Past experiences have conclusively proven that I should NEVER be trusted with these kinds of things…

Like I said, I blame my parents….

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