Monday, April 21, 2008

Stop! Bullet Time!

Ah, good ol’ MC Hammer! Didn’t he end up becoming a preacher? And bankrupt? Can you imagine someone wearing pants like that running a Sunday sermon? I’m ashamed to say that I used to own pants like that during the whole “Hammer-Time!” craze, but I’ve never been a preacher and have never filed for bankruptcy.

What was I talking about again?

Oh yeah, bullet-time. Here are some handy bullet-points to get ya’ll up to date on my exciting and whimsical life…..

--I jumped off a roof this weekend.

How’s THAT for an opening line? I almost broke my foot doing it, too. I was helping my in-laws fix some siding on their house, and at one point I basically had the choice of either jumping down onto a rickety ladder that looked like it was about to topple over, or just jump off the roof onto the front lawn.

When I was a kid, I used to do shit like that all the time, so I didn’t think it would be too big a deal…

Apparently, I’m not a kid anymore.

When I landed, I heard a pop in my ankle, and now I’m walking funny. Not funny “ha-ha”, but funny “Holy Shit that hurts!”.

-- So, we finally had a lil’ taste o’ Summer this past weekend here on Long Island, with a Friday afternoon temperature that broke 80!

So, being a beach bum who basically sits and broods all Winter long waiting for the warm weather, feeling the warm sun on my face Friday really started to put me in a good mood.

Aside from the beach, the other thing I look forward to is being able to drive around with the top down on the convertible, so that’s exactly what I set out to do.

With Beach Boys tunes jangling in my head, I hopped into my car and hit the button to my automatic hard-top……

…. And my “good vibrations” came to a quick fucking halt as the top came halfway up, and then stopped moving.

Yes, it appears that during one of the FOUR times these shitheads have had my car in the shop fixing the water leak in the trunk, one of these mental giants must have fucked with my hard top apparatus.

So goody goody! Expect trip # 5 to the shop on a 6 month old car to happen sometime this week.

--I may be a bad boy tomorrow and play hookey from work. I’m thinking of taking my son to his first trip into NYC (first train ride too), and maybe taking him to Jekyll and Hides for lunch followed by a walk through F.A.O. Schwarts to let him pick out whatever the Hell he wants.

Who knows? Maybe we’ll even jump on the big floor piano and do Chopsticks like in the movie “Big”.

Oh yeah, I can’t….. damn my ankle!

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