Thursday, April 17, 2008

Germophobia

As a rule, I'm not a germ freak.

I tend to border somewhere comfortably between "Clean" and "Slob", so I'm gonna call myself "Just Right".

But, after perusing the internet the other day, I came across this list, which pretty much turned my stomach. That takes a lot for me... I used to eat cow-tongue tacos (which now that I put in in print, sounds really dirty, but rest easy, I really WAS talking about Mexican food).

Anyway, check out this list of common sources of germ/disgusting contact.

- During an hour's swimming at a municipal pool you will on average ingest 1/12 liters of urine.

Hopefully, that's the LEAST of it.

- In an average day your hands will have come into indirect contact with 15 penises (touching door handles, etc.)

By some odd happenstance, science has proven that this number DOUBLES if you happen to be visiting Earl's apartment.

- An average person's yearly fast food intake will contain 12 pubic hairs.

Really, is that any worse than biting the worm inside a bottle of Tequila?

- In a year you will have swallowed 14 insects - while you slept!

Hey, I've almost been on Survivor! This ones a cakewalk!

- Annually you will shake hands with 2 women who have recently masturbated and failed to wash their hands.

Is it wrong that this one makes me hot?

- Annually you will shake hands with 26 men who have recently masturbated and failed to wash their hands.

Is it even more wrong that so does this? Wait, what?

- In a lifetime 22 workmen will have examined the contents of your dirty linen basket.

As long as they don't try on my assless chaps, we're good.

- At an average wedding reception you have a 1/100 chance of getting a cold sore from one of the guests.

They obviously have not seen some of the chicks I've taken to family weddings... I've been bucking the odds for years now....

- Daily you will breath in 1 liter of other peoples' anal gases.

On 42st Street in NYC, there are people who will pay good money for that.

Ok, that's enough disgusting facts for now. I've gotta go jump in the shower and scrub myself with a brillow pad.

p.s. More changes made to RSS. Feed Demon finally recognized my feed! We finally might be there, people! I haven't tried it yet, but I'm hopeful we might have it licked. How's it working?

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