Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Bed, Bath, and Way Beyond

Yeah, I know it’s Youtube Tuesday, but I just don’t feel like putting up a video today. Maybe next week.

Anyway, yesterday during my lunch hour, I gathered up my courage and made a foray into heretofore uncharted territory for such a manly man as myself.

That’s right; I walked into Bed, Bath, and Beyond.

All I knew about that store before now was that they sell lots of soft, nice-smelling, frilly things, and that chicks dig it.

Why would I enter such an establishment, you might ask?

Well, whatever the Hell I did to my back 2 months ago is still refusing to “undo” itself, and when I sleep at night, it still hurts like the Devil.

The only thing that seems to help me, is if I sleep with a pillow under my legs, but because I’m such a wildcat in the sack, usually during the night I end up kicking the pillow to the floor in my sleep, then it’s back to feeling like my back is in knots.

So, I decided to try to buy one of those contoured leg pillows, kinda shaped like a big triangle, to see if that would be any better than what I’m currently using.

Hence, my metro-sexual trip to B,B&B.

Maybe it didn’t help that a dude from work came with me, but I swear we were the ONLY 2 guys in the joint. I felt like all the hot Milfs in there were looking at us like we just violated their private sanctum…. Kinda the same look I would get if I peed in the sink in a woman’s bathroom (not that that ever happened or anything…. No sir-ee!).

And it certainly didn’t help when my friend kept yelling stuff like….

“Hey, this is a SUPER bedcover! We HAVE to get it!”.

And

“This Teapot would just look DARLING in our kitchen!”

… all across the store.

Anyway, I was comfortable enough in my incredible virility to successfully manage to weave my way through the aisles and find my big comfy pillow.

Although I was a little disconcerted when the chick at the register asked me …

“Sir, do you have a Bed, Bath, and Beyond credit card? You get a discount on all purchases!”

“Do I LOOK like I fucking shop here enough that I would have my own credit card? What are you trying to tell me? I’m ALL MAN, baby!”.

I was ready to just whip it out and do her against the register to prove it to her, but apparently she was content with just taking my money.

Anyway, mission accomplished!

Next stop, Dress Barn!

p.s. I’ve continued to fool around with the RSS feed. For those using it, let me know how its going (or IF it’s going!).

No comments: