Sunday, January 06, 2008

New Year's Evil

Happy New Year's my hommies!

Hope everyone has recovered nicely from their year end's festivities.

For me, I have been put down harshly with the flu, which attacked me savagely starting on Christmas morning, and has not let up since. So for me, replace that "soft, Christmasy" feeling you all have, with "violent shaking and inordinate flem" for me. Nice, right?

Anyway, since I had taken the week off work anyway, and was getting supremely bummed out that I was basically "wasting" my week off in the grips of death, I decided to give my health a collective "fuck you" on the morning of New Years Eve, and trudged out in the cold to see a morning showing of "I Am Legend".

Yes, you read that right. I saw the movie all by myself. Truth be told, I do that often. It's no big deal to me. And honestly, now that that big wussy Earl has gone all domesticated on me and goes to see movies with his girl, if I DIDN'T go to see movies by myself, I'd NEVER see them.

And THAT, will just not do.

So, with my heart set on seeing some Will Smith/Vampire goodness, I bundled my cute little heiney up and went to see the flick.

The movie, by the way, kicked ass, I thought. Maybe I've been just slowly lowering my expectations on films in general as I get older, but I really did like it. And, the last 10 minutes had me sitting on the edge of my seat thinking, "How the fuck is the Fresh Prince going to get himself out of this mess?". Any movie that can do that to me gets the big thumbs up in my book any day.

But this post wasn't intended to be a review. Nope, I really wanted to rant about how FUCKING ANNOYING people can be .....

Keep in mind, this was the 10:30 AM showing, so NO ONE was there.

When I walked in, there were only 2 people in the entire theater, sitting middle row, dead center.

I also like the center seats myself, but I prefer to sit more towards the back, so I took a seat directly behind the couple, but about 5 rows back.

All was well.

As the movie begins to start, in runs another couple, in their 50's I'd estimate, looking for a seat.

No problem, I think. there are PLENTY of seats around. There are, after all, only FIVE of us here seeing this movie.

So what do these mental giants do?

THEY SIT DOWN NEXT TO ME!!!!!!!

Seriously, how fucking weird is that shit?

Once I got over the shock, I was going to move my seat, but my chronic social anxiety issues kicked in to hyperdrive, and I decided to just sit there and be pissed off for 2 hours.

To make matters worse, 20 minutes into the film, I glance over and the guy is out cold, for God's sake!

That shit is just SO damn rude! It's breaking every law of common filmgeek etiquette. It's ALMOST as bad as someone walking into the bathroom and using the urinal next to you, even when there are a long row of them going unused.

Anyway, while he was sleeping, I deftly threw a Twizzler in his crotch.

That'll show the bastard.....

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