Tuesday, August 28, 2007

First!

If you don't frequent any internet sites where geeks and fanboys can post comments, discuss any number of issues, or generally bitch/rant/moan about something or another, then this video is probably not going to make a whole Hell of alot of sense to you.

But I DO, and it's freaking funny as all get-out to me, so screw you all.

I checked out these guys' site, and the skits range from very lame to pretty funny, but I didn't find anything that made me laugh harder than this. The end cracks me up every damn time....

Warning kiddies.... harsh language abounds.....


Saturday, August 25, 2007

Choose Your Own Tube

For anyone who thought I post too many videos from the We Need Girlfriends comedy troupe, get ready to get annoyed again.

I discovered these young Australian theater kids on Youtube a few months ago, and I was so impressed by them that I eagerly gobbled down all of their episodes.

Do you remember as a kid, the Choose Your Own Adventure books? If you are a child of the 80's, you probably do.

In a nutshell the CYOA books were simple adventure stories written for kids, but the reader actually got to make decisions on how the story should turn out, and the story would change each time based on those decisions.

For instance, you might be reading a passage like this:

"Johnny takes a step forward in the cave, and sees a huge hole in the ground."

"If you want Johnny to try to jump over the hole, go to page 48. If you would rather try to find another way around, go to page 98".

You get the idea. I used to LOVE these books as a kid.

These videos run under the same idea. At the end of each episode, the kids put forth a series of questions on how the viewers want to see the main character do next, and Youtubers vote. The kids base their next webisode on whatever wins the vote.

It's really a brilliant idea, and aside from a first episode that just gave me a few smiles, some of the later ones really had me laugh out loud.

These guys are pretty talented. Check em out.


Wednesday, August 22, 2007

It Hurts Because It's True

So……

I was out late Monday Night with some friends, and decided that there was NO way I was going to be able to get up at 6am Tuesday morning to go to work, so I decided to punch in sick.

I had HOPED that I could sleep at least a LITTLE late, so I wouldn’t be a zombie the entire day.

Those hopes were dashed, however, as at 7am I heard my bedroom door creak open, then the pitter-patter of little feet run across the room to my bed.

“Daddy! Wake up! I want to play with you!”

“zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz”

“DADDY!”

“Ok, Ok. I’m up.”

“Daddy, why do you look mad? Did you have a nightmare?”

“Yeah, as a matter of fact, I did. I dreamt that a little midget woke me up early in the morning to play with him”.

“Well Daddy, I had a nightmare last night too!”

“What was it?”

“I dreamed that a man with a big belly wouldn’t wake up to play with me!”

................................................

The kid is four years old, dammit. Four!

At this rate, he is going to be one of the biggest Smartasses the world has ever known…..
He’s gonna make me so proud…….. *sniff*

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Slyde's Pet Peeve # 1 - Voice Mail

I’ve been pretty aggravated at the world in general lately, so I thought that this would be as good a time as any to kick off the inaugural post on a topic that I have had stirring around in my mind for awhile now.

This, ladies and gents, is the first in what will undoubtedly be a Looooooooong list of things that really piss me off….

COMPANY VOICE MAIL MESSAGES
You know what I’m talking about. I’m not speaking of the ridiculous messages that people leave on their answering machines at home (that would be a whole other rant).
No, I’m talking about when you are at work, and you need to call someone else within the company, and the INSANE amount of verbal diarrhea you have to listen to before you can actually leave your message.
During the course of my typical workday, I have to deal with THIS about 100 times a day:
Me: “I’d better call John Jackass to see if he’s coming to that meeting. Let me call him now.”
Me: Dialing....
Me: Waiting thru 4 rings for the answering machine to kick in.
Machine: “Hello, you have reached the desk of John Jackass of the Fuck-A-Duck company. I am currently away from my desk….”
Me: Well, gee thanks. Up until this point I was certain I was talking to a live person…
Machine: “….Please, at the sound of the beep, please leave your name, number, and time of call, and I’ll be sure to get back to you as quick as I can.”
Me: Yawn. Thanks for that quick instructional. I had no idea I had to leave my name and number in order for you to get back to me.
Machine: “Thanks, and have a great day!”.
Me: Fuck you.
If I could actually leave my message at this point, I wouldn’t be complaining here, but THEN we get treated to…..
Machine: Super robot-like voice tells me “Please leave your message at the sound of the beep.”
Me: Again, thanks… before I heard that I was just talking over this ass-clown and leaving my message.
Machine: “When you are finished leaving your message, please either hang up the phone…”
Me: Really? I can hang up when I’m done? Why didn’t anyone ever fucking tell me that before?
Machine: “or press 2 to delete the message, 3 to edit the message, 4 to transfer to a different extension, 5 to copy this message to another extension, 6 to hear Pi read out to four trillion digits, 7 for instructions on slitting your own wrists, or # to hear these instructions again.”
Me: Anyone who has ever, in the history of the planet, ever hit #, should be shot.
Machine: *Beep*
Me: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
Me: Huh? Where am I? What time is it? What was I doing again?

Monday, August 13, 2007

Sunday, August 12, 2007

Things That Mean Nothing - July 2007

Nothing too outrageously funny this month, but as always, there were some nuggets nestled in there.

Below are some of the more interesting search strings that people used last month and wound up finding Slydesblog. Enjoy!

ametuer blogs
Hey, I take that as an insult, buddy!

because you have the whooping cough and eat margarine
What the Hell? Who would search for that?

carnival legend
God, I miss that boat…..

loose women
Woo Hoo! In all fairness, this search was probably FROM me anyway…..

pal joey shower scene
I’d probably get tagged with this one as well, but I don’t have a pal named Joey. I believe Earl does though. Hmmmmmmmmm…..

pauly P-e-r-r-e-t-t-e forehead
Of all the parts of that woman’s body to obsess over……sicko!

rave bathroom
Maybe I’m just a prude in my old age, but I don’t think I would want to attend a rave that took place inside a bathroom.

real lizard flying stories in dominican
Yeah, I saw many flying lizards when I was in the Dominican Republic. Flying goats too. And a lot of Pink Elephants….

Tuesday, August 07, 2007

I've Been Tagged!

The lovely, talented and extremely sexy Liz has tagged me, so I must obey....

1. Wednesday, Nov. 5, 2008. Our side won! How do you celebrate?
I'm not sure I would celebrate at all. We just endured 8 years of having one of the stupidest presidents ever....should we really be celebrating?

2. Are you on a boat or are you a land lubber or do you soar?
Mostly a lubber of land here. When I was young, I spent much time on the seven seas, but as I get older, I find that I usually have a better time sitting on the couch. And soaring? Nah, I don't know if you've heard, but those things can crash!

3. What was the last mistake you wished you could cover up?
The last time Earl and I got drunk, and we ended up staying the weekend at this cute little Bed -N- Breakfast place out in Montauk, and then....

Wait, What?

4. Are your omelettes fluffy?
As one of the male species who has trouble boiling water, we regrettably will NEVER learn the answer to this one....

5. When was the last time your paradigm shifted?
Is that like the last time the Earth moved? If so, then it's been a loooooong damn time.....

And just because I like to share the pain... Let's tag Spinning Girl!

Monday, August 06, 2007

We Need Girlfriends - Episode 10

Remember when I said we were all caught up with this series?

Well, about as soon as I hit the Enter key on that post, my favorite guys from Queens put out another episode.

While I don't think it's one of their better ones, it still gets me an updated post here, so that alone is worth it.

In this episode, the repercussions from the guys one night stands in the last episode comes back to haunt one of them.....