Tuesday, June 26, 2007

We Need Girlfriends - Episode 6

What can I say? There have been 8 episodes of this web show so far, and this by far is my favorite.

In this episode, Tom introduces his new Squirell to his roomates, by way of a game night with his friends. Damn does this one make me laugh. Enjoy!


Wednesday, June 20, 2007

What I'm Reading - June 2007

Yeah, I know I owe you guys a post about my trip, complete with wonderfully sexy pictures of me sunning myself.

Soon, I promise….

Anyway, I just finished reading Dean Koontz’ novel, INTENSITY.

The story is a good, solid thriller, that doesn’t go more than 20 pages in before the suspense starts.

Chyna Sheppard is young college student, who is going home for the weekend with her school pal, to rest and meet the girl’s family. All goes swimmingly (for about 2 pages, at least), until a homicidal maniac breaks into the house, and begins to systematically slaughter the family one by one.

I’ve gotta stop here for a second:

Does this story sound familiar? If you are a real Horror Fan, it should.

A few years ago, I had been hearing a lot of good press about a hot new French horror movie, called Haute tension (High Tension for all you Yanks). I had heard it was a brutal, edge-of-your-seat type slasher movie that did not disappoint. Being a junkie for this type of genre, I rushed out to get a copy of it.

And you know what? I loved it. It’s a real nail-biter from beginning to end.

Can you guess what it was about? I’ll give you a hint:

A young FRENCH college student, goes home for the weekend with her school pal, to rest and meet the girl’s family. All goes swimmingly (for about 10 minutes, at least), until a homicidal maniac breaks into the house, and begins to systematically slaughter the family one by one.

Sound Familiar?

As I kept reading Intensity, I was quickly struck by just how damn similar the book was to High Tension. Not just similar….. The same. Whole scenes were virtually identical to the movie I had seen a few years before.

Could Mr. Koontz, a novelist who I have always respected, be a hack?

Quickly, I jumped to the copyright page of the book, where I got my answer.

Dean Koontz is NOT a hack, but the writer of High Intensity sure as hell is. Intensity was written almost 10 years before High Tension ever saw the light of day. I even did some digging on the internet, and found that, sure enough, when High Tension was released in France, Dean Koontz began legal proceedings against the film, arguing (justifiably) that they had just stolen his work. Further digging told me that Koontz decided to drop the costly lawsuit before the movie was to premier in the U.S., in fears that he would give more publicity to the small, indy, foreign film than it would have otherwise received.

So, what does this all have to do with the book Intensity? Nothing really. It’s a good book, and I recommend it as one of Mr. Koontz’ better novels.

And for what it’s worth, High Tension is still a damn scary movie. I’m just not ready to forgive them for conning me with such a blatant rip-off.

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Boo!

First off, for everyone emailing me saying "Hey, did you drop off the planet? I haven't seen you around my blog in weeks!", I say unto you, "Eat me!", because if you had been around THIS BLOG in weeks, you would then know that I have been sick as a dog, and haven't been to ANYONE'S blog in weeks. I'm starting to feel better, so I'll catch up with ya'll, I swear.

Anyway, I saw this 2 weeks ago, before I started Knocking on Heaven's Door, and thought I'd put it up at some point. The site RETROCRUSH went ahead and compiled a list of:


Since anyone who knows me knows that I'm all about the Horror, I was very interested when I read about this list.

Overall, I think the list is pretty solid, although they seemed to wander off topic sometimes, and put up entries that I wouldn't call scary at all. In fact, I'd actually call this list a mish-mosh of 3 different lists, "The scariest movie moments, the most disgusting movie moments, and the most unnerving movie moments", because each of the 100 entries definitely falls in one of those categories.

I mean, c'mon. #63, the flying monkey scene in The Wizard of Oz, while admittedly kinda freaky to a little 7 year-old Slyde, should NOT be on the list of the scariest moments of all time. Ditto for #90, The pink elephant scene in Dumbo. Odd and misplaced? Yes. Scary? No.

You can click the link I gave you above for the full list (with pics and some movie clips!), but for the cliff-notes-inclined among us, here is the top 10, which, while my own list might be a tad different, I can't really argue with what is here:

#10 THE SHINING (1980) - WHAT'S INSIDE ROOM #237?

#9 THE EXORCIST III (1990) - HELLO, NURSE!

#8 NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD (1968) - NOT ENOUGH BULLETS IN THE WORLD

#7 JAWS (1975) - SEVERED HEAD FALLS OUT OF THE BOAT

#6 UN CHIEN ANDALOU (1929)- EYEBALL SLICED WITH A STRAIGHT RAZOR

#5 POLTERGEIST (1982) - TOY CLOWN ATTACKS BOY UNDER BED

#4 ALIEN (1979) - CHESTBURSTER

#3 THE SHINING (1980) - DANNY RIDES HIS BIG WHEEL DOWN THE HALL

#2 CARRIE (1976) - CARRIE'S HAND POPS OUT OF THE GRAVE

#1 PSYCHO (1960) - THE SHOWER SCENE

I have seen 74 of these. How about you?

Sunday, June 10, 2007

We Need Girlfriends - Episode 5

Episode 5 Brings us to Tom's first date with the mystery chick he met at the Laundromat, back in the first episode. Watchers from the beginning might also remember that this girl was Rod's "Squirrel". Three's Company references abound, and much fun ensues.......

Friday, June 08, 2007

Things That Mean Nothing - May 2007

Howdy folks.

Since my fever has finally started to break, and I can actually keep my head up for more than literally 10 minutes at a clip without me crashing to the floor, I figured that I might as well use my doctor-imposed exile here at the house productively, and do some posting.

I know, I haven't done this in quite awhile. For you newbies, I used to collect all the keywords that people used in their search browsers like Yahoo and Google for the month, and ended up finding us here at Slydesblog.

"Things That Mean Nothing" used to be one of my favorite posts each month, but as time went on (and I spurred it on. I KNOW, Earl!), most of the entries became queries of just about any actress I have ever mentioned here, naked. It was funny at first, but as time went on the naked queries just dominated the list, and the joke got old fast.

So, I took a little hiatus, and it appears that the nakedness is gone again. Not totally, but enough to make doing this funny to me again.

So, here for your viewing pleasure, are some of the funnier things people searched for last month and ended up finding us:

build a contraption game
building a contraption
how to build a contraption
make a contraption
Apparently Joey's Mad Scientist skills are making waves all over the internet.

grandfater fuck grandmaster
Even spelled correctly, I don't ever want to see this.....

kissing mirror

licensing fees dungeons
Now I'm getting the S&M crowd. At least their entrepreneurial S&Mers....

my slyde

slyde show.com
Great. I have a fucktard for a new reader who can't spell "slideshow"

we need girlfriends
Rock on!

zombie cup holder
Is this for real? I've gotta get me one of those fuckers....

pee emergencies
pee emergency
Another overlooked demographic. Welcome!

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

Great News!

I've got pneumonia!
Pretty bad case, too!
Now excuse me while I crawl away somewhere to die..............