That Can't Be Right

Ya know, I'm BEGINNING to think that the DEATH CLOCK might not be completely accurate....

After reading some of your comments, I checked back in to the clock o' death, just to make sure all my info was accurate.....

Then I noticed that I HAD, in fact, not checked off 1 field properly.

For the MODE field, I had accidentally entered "normal".

I am NOT "normal".

On the contrary, I am probably one of the most pessimistic people I know, so I entered my mode as such.

To my horror, once I did so, my date of death PLUMMETED down to Tuesday, April 9, 2024!!
What the Hell? I just lost 18 years because I think the glass is always half empty? 2024 isn't THAT far away! Jesus!

Now, completely freaking out, I continued to keep all of the other info the same, and just played around with the "mode". Here are my results:

Normal: Saturday, June 14, 2042
Pessimistic: Tuesday, April 9, 2024
Optimistic: Friday, August 3, 2063
Sadistic: Tuesday, June 14, 2005

My favorite is of course "sadistic", which revealed to me that if I DID have such a disposition, I would already be dead for 2 years, and to "have a nice day!".

Clearly, the way for me to go is "Optimistic", which would give me another 21 years, and let me croak at the ripe old age of 95, but I just don't think I'm ready for that big of a life change.

P.S. I tried fiddling with some of the other numbers, and nothing brings about such a dramatic change of life as your personality does. I even changed my BMI to make myself morbidly obese, and it shortened my life by only a few weeks.

Now tell me, WHY am I always at the gym again?