Tuesday, July 03, 2007

I'm Just Wild About Harry...

… but Harry isn’t too wild about me.

We went to St. Anthony’s feast in Northport this past weekend with some friends. It was a great day, and Joey had a blast. Bumper cars, fun house, roller coasters, Ferris wheel, the works. I even managed to win him 2 huge stuffed animals, that he has now taken to sleeping with.

As we were leaving the feast, we came across one of those “throw a ping pong ball, and win a goldfish” booths. I sensed trouble, and tried to steer the group away.

“Daddy, a goldfish! I want to have my own pet!”.

Shit.

Joey has been on the “I want a pet” kick for a few months now. He has been wanting a dog, but so far I have been able to stand firm, although in truth if my wife gave me the go-ahead I’d get him one tomorrow.

I’ve had dogs, cats, birds, but never a fish. I know absolutely NOTHING about taking care of them (they need water, right?).

But, because I can’t say no, we walk out of the feast 10 minutes later, with Joey clutching a little plastic bag with a little goldfish inside it. Before we get to the car, he has already named it “Harry”, after Harry Potter. He thinks it’s a magic fish.

When we got home, I faced the age-old problem of every person who has ever won one of these damn things at a feast. What the Hell do I do with it now?

Long story short: We put him in a glass vase for the night, and Sunday morning we went out to the local tropical pet shop and bought food, a net, a tank, gravel, a fake tree, and a ceramic frog because apparently Harry needed a toy.

Oh yeah, I also bought another fish, this one some kind of tropical goldfish that cost almost as much as the tank, because OF COURSE Harry needed a friend. Now Harry has a girlfriend, Luce.

So we get home, set up the tank, fill it with water and plop the little bastards in there.

All goes well for the first hour or so, until I peruse the instructions that came with the tank.

“Do not put fresh chlorinated or tap-water into the bowl”

Well, swell…..

The fish seemed to be ok, but of course I came home last night to see Harry floating belly up at the bottom of the tank (I thought they were supposed to float to the top?).

I thought Joey would be upset, but the little bugger took it well. He wanted to know when Harry was going to wake up, which near broke my heart, and when we flushed him down the toilet, he asked me when Harry was going to feel better and swim back out (and if THAT happens, ladies and gents, I am going to unceremoniously shit my pants), but all things considered, he was ok with it.

But Luce is still going strong; bless her ridiculously-overpriced heart.

Of course, now Luce needs a friend…….

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