Saturday, December 30, 2006

A Little Help Here, Please....

So, I'm looking thru my monthly stats for the site (getting nice big numbers this month, by the way.. thanks guys!), and I come across a large number of hits this month from a site that I have never heard of before.

Of course I have to surf there to see just WHO linked to me and WHY, and what to my amazement do I see there?

A picture of my son.


This kinda freaks me out a little bit. The site is obviously in Italian, but seems to be written in a dialect that my little Sicilian butt can't seem to figure out (which isn't too surprising, since, even though I can understand Sicilian pretty well when spoken to, my ability to answer back is pretty much limited to small phrases, and curses. Ask me how I'm feeling in Sicilian, and I'm likely to reply, "Fine, thanks. Go Fuck Yourself!".)

My guess is that it is from one of the more Northern dialects, but every attempt that I have made on the web with a Italian-to-English translator have come up as mostly gibberish.

It's obviously some sort of commentary on Narcissism, but I'd LOVE to know exactly what is being said.

My wife is kinda freaked out that some stranger is using a picture of my son on their website, but I honestly take it as a compliment. My big question to the poster is, "How the HELL did they find that picture when searching the internet for narcissism in the first place?"

But, since I can't even make out what the heck they are saying, my odds of getting to even ask that question to the poster are pretty slim at best. I can't even find an email address on the site.

So, my pantheon of Slydesbloggers from all over the globe:

Help me out here. What the Hell is this website taking about?

A big wet, open-mouthed sloppy kiss to the first person who riddles it out for me.

Update: Well, using another translator I was able to get much further:

"I have stolen pearls trying buio told armies believing to the quiet ones and hour that I forget history I run after the vague one that never I have truly conosciutoin"

Although that doesn't really make any more sense to me than the Italian gibberish I started with.....

Friday, December 22, 2006

SNL Was Funny Last Week. Wait, What?

I have been watching Saturday Night Live since it's very first season.

Back then, a little 8 year old Me would fight like Hell to stay awake so I could catch the weekly antics of the Coneheads, Mr. Bill, and Rosanna Danna Danna.

The show has had more ups and downs than Space Mountain in the last 30 years, and for sure the last few seasons have seen more bad weeks than good, but this past week I almost peed myself with this one.

For those that didn't catch it, Justin Timberlake was the host, and much like when he amazed me the first time he hosted 2 years ago by actually being really funny, he again hit the mark, especially with the skit below.

I'm not sure how long NBC is going to allow Youtube to host this (they are notorious for forcing Youtube to pull all their copyrighted stuff), but if you can't click the link below, then the evil forces of corporate America have already smacked down the little man and removed the content.

But if it still works when you click it...........Dammit, isn't that funny?

Unfunny Edit: Sigh - It's already been removed, which makes this whole post a waste of time. Damn, you NBC!

Edit # 2: I found another link to it! NBC can't stop me! Damn the man, save the empire! Click below!

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Survivor: Cook Islands - Weeks 12 & 13

Well, there's good news, and there's bad news.

The GOOD news is that, by some miracle, my pick of Adam to win Survivor Cook Islands is still in the game somehow, even though he is the last person left in the game from his alliance, making him a huge underdog to win. He actually convinced Yul and his team to vote off the hated Jonathan, and the next week threw his last friend Parvati under the bus, to stay in the game.

The BAD news is that tonight is the finale, so after that you guys won't be treated to these episode recaps anymore.

It's down to the final 5. Can my dumbass bumpkin Adam someone Forrest Gump his way to victory?

Expect me to be in a great mood tomorrow if I somehow manage to eek out a win, and likewise expect me to be really pissy tomorrow if I lose.

Vacation, All I Ever Wanted...

,,, "Vacation, Had To Get Away"

Just be thankful that you all weren't physically in the room with me while I just sang that out....

Anyway, sorry for the lack of blogging this past week. I'd like to say that I will be stepping up now with more stories, but then I'd be lying.

The truth is, that this past Friday started my 3 week vacation, where I intend to do as little as possible, and that includes blogging.

Ya see, my job only lets me carry over at most 6 weeks vacation from year to year, and because I am partially retarded I NEVER take all my time, so by the end of each year I am usually clocking in at anywhere from 8-10 weeks of vacation saved up, and I end up taking most of each December off so I can get myself down to the maximum I can carry over.

So here I sit, watching old movies on Turner Classics and eating chicken pot pie in my underwear, while the rest of the world hustles and bustles and readies themselves for the Christmas last minute push.

I really enjoy these few weeks of do-nothingness, and have really become accustomed to them.
Anyway, I'll try to come up with something witty and post it here before the new year, but no promises.

P.S. Contrary to all the snide comments I'm sure to get in the forums, I am NOT the scrawny computer programmer in the pic above. I am so much hotter than any of those guys. Really.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Ah, Cruel Fate...

The link is no longer working for some reason, but allow me to just copy and paste this dandy news article that greeted me yesterday morning:


"Wal-Mart announced Tuesday that it has landed the Elmo jackpot and will begin selling 4,000 Tickle Me Elmos per day, starting today, December 12th, through Christmas Eve, on their official website. According to the company, will make the toys available 'around noon each day'."

Well, isn't THAT just roses?

The stars have aligned to poop on me once again.

For anyone who buys one, you have ME to fucking thank. If I HADN'T already bought one for 100 bucks, these things would still be harder to find than Big Foot.

Ho Ho Ho.

Saturday, December 09, 2006

Extra! Extra! Read All About It!

This gave me a chuckle today.

Check out some of these actual headlines from some prominent newspapers from around the world. I always got a kick out stuff like this when Jay Leno would read these on the Tonight Show, but some of these almost made me pee my pants. Enjoy!

- Something Went Wrong In Jet Crash, Expert Says
- Police Begin Campaign To Run Down Jaywalkers
- Saftey Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted
- Drunk Gets Nine Months In Violin Case
- Survivor Of Siamese Twins Joins Parents
- Farmer Bill Dies In House
- Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
- Is There A Ring Of Debris Around Uranus?
- Stud Tires Out
- Prostitutes Appeal To Pope
- Panda Mating Fails: Veterinarian Takes Over
- Soviet Virgin Lands Short Of Goal Again
- British Left Waffles On Falkland Islands
- Lung Cancer In Women Mushrooms
- Eye Drops Off Shelf
- Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
- Reagan Wins On Budget, But More Lies Ahead
- Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim
- Shot Off Woman's Leg Helps Nicklaus to
- Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax
- Plane Too Close To Ground, Crash Probe Told
- Miners Refuse to Work After Death
- Juvenile Court To Try Shooting Defendant
- Stolen Painting Found By Tree
- Two Soviet Ships Collide, One Dies
- Two Sisters Reunited After Years In Checkout Counter
- Killer Sentenced To Die For Second Time In Years
- Never Withhold Herpes Infection From Loved One
- Drunken Drivers Paid $ in '
- War Dims Hope For Peace
- If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While
- Cold Wave Linked To Temperatures
- Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
- Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge- Deer Kill ,
- Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
- Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge
- New Study Of Obesity Looks For Larger Test Group
- Astronaut Takes Blame For Gas In Spacecraft
- Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
- Chef Throws His Heart Into Helping Needy
- Arson Suspect Is Held In Massachusetts Fire
- British Union Finds Dwarves In Short Supply
- Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood
- Lansing Residents Can Drop Off Trees
- Local High School Dropouts Cut In Half
- New Vaccine May Contain Rabies
- Man Minus Ear Waives Hearing
- Deaf College Opens Doors To Hearing
- Air Head Fired- Steals Clock, Faces Time
- Prosecutor Releases Probe into Undersheriff
- Old School Pillars are Replaced By Alumni
- Bank Drive-In Window Blocked By Board
- Hospitals are Sued By Foot Doctors
- Some Pieces Of Rock Hudson Sold At Auction
- Sex Education Delayed, Teachers Request Training
- Include Your Children When Baking Cookies
- Guini-pig judge Quits
- Sunday Express;- Mice to be bombed
- Today;- Irish peat bog rocked by great sheep explosion
- Independant;- Mobile phone threat to universe;
- Swedish jet hijacked by bread roll
- Int Herald Trib;- Damp patches discovered on sun
- New scientist;- Husband bites wife's 'thing'
- The Monitor (Uganda);- Physicist recommends bigger balls to slow down male tennis players
- Guardian- Objections raised to quake aid for aliens
- Washington Times;- Ferries must stay afloat in worst of storms, say safety engineers
- Guardian- New tabloid 'owned by god' - Kitchener (Ontario);
- Elves loose
- Daily Echo;- Mexican leader crashes to Earth
- Guardian;- Armageddon could threaten United's Promotion push
- West Cumbria News & Star;
- Explosion of Professors at universities
- Sunday Times;- Hairdo kills Mum
- Daily Mirror;- French Minister 'condoned Police shooting of Aliens'
- Guardian;- NASA briefly loses contact with Atlantis
- Lewiston (ME);- hurt as students demand right to cheat
- Canberra Times;- Giantkillers stretch town to the limit
- Falmouth Packet- Children's Stool Great for Use in Garden
- Stud Tires Out
- Stiff Opposition to Casketless Funeral Plan
- Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case
- Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
- Queen Mary Having Bottom Scraped
- Columnist Gets Urologist in Trouble with His Peers
- New Housing For Elderly Not Yet Dead
- New Missouri U. Chancellor Expects Little Sex-
12 On Their Way to Cruise Among Dead in Plane Crash
- N.J. Judge to Rule on Nude Beach
- Chou Remains Cremated
- Chinese Apeman Dated
- Hershey Bars Protest
- Reagan Wins On Budget, But More Lies Ahead
- Deer Kill 130,000
- Complaints About NBA Referees Growing Ugly
- Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim
- Man Eating Piranha Mistakenly Sold As Pet Fish
- Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
- Something went wrong in jet crash, experts say
- Police begin campaign to run down jaywalkers
- Safety Experts say school bus passengers should be belted
- Survivor of Siamese twins joins parents
- Farmer Bill dies in house
- Is there a ring of debris around Uranus?
- Prostitutes appeal to Pope
- Panda mating fails; Veterinarian takes over
- Soviet virgin lands short of goal again
- British left waffles on Falkland Islands
- Eye drops off shelf
- Teacher strikes idle kids
- Shot off woman's leg helps Nicklaus to 66
- Enraged cow injures farmer with ax
- Plane too close to ground, crash probe told
- Miners refuse to work after death
- Stolen painting found by tree
- Two soviet ships collide, one dies
- 2 sisters reunited after 18 years in checkout counter
- Killer sentenced to die for second time in 10 years
- Never withhold herpes infection from loved one
- Drunken drivers paid $1000 in '84
- If strike isn't settled quickly, it may last a while
- Enfiels couple slain; Police suspect homicide
- Two cars were reported stolen by the Groveton police yesterday.
- We will sell gasoline to anyone in a glass container.
- Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
--Daily Sun-Post (San Clemente, CA) 1/17/77- Sneak Attack by Soviet Bloc Not Foreseen
--The Atlanta Journal 4/4/79- War Dims Hopes for Peace
--Wisconsin State Journal 12/27/65- Blue Skies Unless its Cloudy
--San Francisco Chronicle 5/29/??- Bankrupt Association Termed in Poor Shape
--Lawrence (KA) Journal-World 7/12/77- Food is Basic to Student Diet
--Bridgeport (CN) Post 1/18/78- (Reported in the (U.K.) Guardian recently, and relayed by Martin Hughes:)- We take ghoul care of you!
- Lack Of Water Hurts Ice Fishing
- Yellow Snow Tested For Nutrition
- Gas Smell Diverts Flight, But It Was Just Passengers Pants
- Man Accused Of Excessively Passing Wind
- Cookies With Condoms Fail Family Taste-Test
- Condom Firm Streches Product Line
- White Flower Two Day Sale-(Friday ONLY)
- Toxic Waste Tour Planned
- Grandmother of eight makes hole in one
- Deaf mute gets new hearing in killing
- House passes gas tax onto senate
- Two convicts evade noose, jury hung
- William Kelly was fed secretary
- Milk drinkers are turning to powder
- Quarter of a million Chinese live on water
- Dr. Ruth to talk about sex with newspaper editors
- Organ festival ends in smashing climax
- Dealers will hear car talk at noon
- Lawmen from Mexico barbecue guests
- Nicaragua sets goal to wipe out literacy
- Autos killing 110 a day, let's resolve to do better
- Smokers are productive, but death cuts efficiency
- Child's death ruins couple's holiday
- Blind woman gets new kidney from dad she hasn't seen in years
- Man is fatally slain
- Death causes loneliness, feeling of isolation
- Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms
- Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge
- Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
- Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge
- New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
- Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
- Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
- Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy
- Arson Suspect is Held in Massachusetts Fire
- British Union Finds Dwarfs in Short Supply
- Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood
- Lansing Residents Can Drop Off Trees
- Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
- New Vaccine May Contain Rabies- Man Minus Ear Waives Hearing
- Deaf College Opens Doors to Hearing
- Air Head Fired
- Steals Clock, Faces Time
- Prosecutor Releases Probe into Undersheriff
- Old School Pillars are Replaced by Alumni
- Bank Drive-in Window Blocked by Board
- Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
- Some Pieces of Rock Hudson Sold at Auction
- Sex Education Delayed, Teachers Request Training
- Include your Children when Baking Cookies

Thursday, December 07, 2006

Survivor: Cook Islands - Weeks 10 & 11

I know, I know, no one gives a damn about this except me, but I’m in the final 7 now, so at least let me talk about it a bit, ok? Hey, a NEW post about something no one cares about is still better than NO new post, right?

Anyway, in week 10, the unstoppable team of 4, Yul, Ozzie, Becky, and Sundra finally merged with the bigger team of 5: Nathan, Adam (my guy), Parvati, Jonathan, and Candice.

Now I’m no mathematician, but one would think that, in a game of numbers, the team of 4 should lose to the team of 5, but apparently no one on Survivor knows a damn thing about math either.

In a brilliant play, Yul showed Jonathan the immunity idol, and told him that if he didn’t vote along with him, that he would use the idol to send Jonathan home that night. Jonathan, the only player this year with a brain, tried as hard as he could to “suggest” to his dumass tribemates how they should vote, but no one was having any of it, so Jonathan was forced to become the most hated player in all of Survivor history by backstabbing a large group of people AGAIN, voting with Yul and totally blindsiding a dumbfounded Nathan by sending him home.

With week 10’s surprise screwing, my dimwitted Survivor Adam finally started to see the writing on the wall, and told Yul that, although he knew he was now in the minority, both he, Parvati, and Candice would vote for Yul in the final tribal council, as long as Yul got rid of the backstabbing Jonathan next.

Yul, being quite possibly the smartest player I have ever seen play the game, didn’t pay them any heed and voted Candice’s sorry ass off in Week 11.

The real question now is: How much longer can my idiot Survivor Adam manage to stay on the island, now that the sides are 5 to 2 against him? My hope is that this week Yul finally has enough of Jonathan’s crap and sends him packing, giving Adam another week’s reprieve.

Hey, at this point that is the most I can hope for. The sad fact is that right now team Slyde isn’t looking so hot.

Slyde’s Current chance of winning – 7:1

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Things That Mean Nothing - October 2006

First off, thanks to everyone who emailed me about the forums being down the past 2 days.

That kind of sucked. I was afraid it was some kind of hacking thing, but apparently my hosting company put their doohickey in the wrong wachamacallit, and the forums fell down and went boom. At least, that’s the technical answer for it. I’m not sure any of you would better understand it if I dumbed it down a notch…..

Anyway, no Pomp and Circumstance this month... I decided to be totally lazy and not even take out the Pauley Perette naked stuff.

So, here for your viewing pleasure, are the top 20 internet searches for people who Googled and found Slydesblog:

pauley -Name Removed - nude
abby sciuto tattoo
parvati naked pics
pauley -Name Removed - naked
%22pauley -Name Removed - naked%22
abby sciuto fashion
are you a pretty boy
free eva mendez pics
its not over daugtry
list of weird phobias
naked pics of pauley perette
pauley perette
pauley perette nude
pauley -Name Removed - nude pics
slyde - adam
survivor parvati hot pics
survivor parvati pics
universal poo boy
universal poo boy slyde

Not too much to comment on here this month either. It IS interesting to note, however, that the Survivor reality show hottie Parvati is beginning to challenge the lovely Ms. Perette in the #1 naked spot.

Other notables:

- Are you a pretty boy? – Why yes I am! Thanks for noticing.

- Slyde – Adam - Why thank you. Most people call me an Adonis or Michael Angelo’s David, but not many have had the pure vision to reference me to Adam himself. I’m touched.

- Universal Poo Boy – Sigh. Just when I was getting all amped up about being thought of as the ultimate symbol of man, some losers have to reference me to doo-doo.

And my ego comes crashing back down to earth…….