Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Eating Pancakes In Deadwood

Longtime SLYDESBLOGGers will remember how much I love DEADWOOD, the best damn show on TV, period (In fact, if you peruse the archives, you can read the article where I named my picks for the top show on TV... surpsise! Deadwood came in at #1).

Well, HBO in their infinite wisdom has decided to cancel Deadwood after this current season ends. Not because the show is doing poorly; on the contrary it does pretty well in the ratings. Not Sopranos-type well, but well nonetheless. It isn't because the show doesn't get great reviews; it does, in boatloads, and has won numerous Emmys for their outstanding cast.

No, Deadwood is being cancelled because it just costs too much Damn money to make, and HBO is a notorious cheap network to be on. It's the same reason why they cancelled Carnivale right when it had ascended to the level on one of the best shows on TV, and right at the point of an awesome cliffhanger, thank you very much. But it was even harder to keep Deadwood afloat, since between the hugely expensive set (their set is basically a real-sized constructed small town), and the largest cast on TV, Deadwood is simply too expensive a show to make. HBO has announced that they will try to appease the masses next season with 2 2-hour Deadwood movies in an attempt to try to wrap up the series, but after the current spectacular job they are doing right now in season 3, that just isn't going to be enough to curb my Deadwood fix.

But that is neither here nor there. The YOUTUBEer I linked to below has made one of the funniest videos I have seen in awhile. That is, if you are a fan of the show. If you don't like the show (shame!), or have never seen it, you'd best just not even bother clicking below, because you just aren't going to get it.

But if you love the show... enjoy, cause damn this is funny.

Be warned: Curse words abound below (much like the show)... keep the kiddies in the other room.

I am SOOOO going to miss this show next year.....

Monday, July 24, 2006

Arbitrary Crap

By B.E. Earl

Hey kids! Nothing special today, but some random bits o’ light stuff on a day when the Middle East is still on the brink of destruction and the temperatures here at home races towards triple digits.

1) I think that I have decided on a design for my next tattoo. My first tattoo on my lower leg is a combination of my family’s crest from Ireland along with a depiction of a Greater Bird of Paradise (similar to the big guy in the middle of this). I love it lots and really want to get another, so I think I have settled on a pattern based on the triskele. Mine would be a Celtic variation of the three conjoined spirals that dot much of the ancient world’s imagery. I’m particularly fond of this version which incorporates jasmine into the original design. I’ve just got to work up the nerve to actually go and get it as I want on the inside of my wrist and I know that it is going to hurt like a son-of-a-bitch.

2) President Bush is really starting to get angry at the conflict in the Middle East. So much so that he was forced to use strong language in what he thought was a closed mike conversation with Tony Blair. He feels that Syria should be getting on Hezbollah to “stop doing this shit”. Don’t know how to say that in Arabic, but I betcha there is a bunch of folks over there saying the same thing about us and our fearless leader.

3) Starting to plan my annual early December vacation to Key West. Can’t seem to get enough of that little island. It’s always a blast and picking out a house to rent is one of my favorite pre-vacation activities. We haven’t been disappointed yet, although one of the houses we stayed in was a little too close to the “gay section” of town for the likes of one of my more homophobic friends. Yeah…right! Can’t swing a dead cat by the tail in Key West without running into a lesbian bar or a drag queen. That’s half the fun! Sometimes we think he doth protest too much, if you know what I mean.

4) There is a new book just printed called Doolittle about the album by the same name from The Pixies. Hey, it’s a great album folks. One of my favorites, but did someone really need to write 121 pages about it? But, ya know, if anyone was thinking about buying it for me, they can check it out here.

5) Jimmy Buffett tickets went on sale the other day for his September show in NYC at Madison Square Garden. Ho-hum. This used to be a religious observance for me. Logging on bright and early the day tix go on sale in hopes of catching lightening in a bottle and coming up with floor seats. Sorry! No more. I guess that since I have seen him perform in small venues (Guild Hall in East Hampton…300+ seats!), large venues (MSG), beach venues (The theater at Jones Beach) and even on Duval Street in Key West my desire to see him live has diminished drastically. I mean I still feel as if “I’m growing older, but not up” so my need to party hasn’t slackened. Maybe I have moved on from my parrot-head youth, or maybe I’ve just seen it all when it comes to JB. Either way, it’s still a little sad for me that I really don’t care.

6) That Youtube stuff is great. Especially those weird little movie reviews of Titanic, Jaws and Superman Returns done in haiku format. Have you seen those yet, Slyde? Slyde? Do you know how to find them on the site? SLYDE? Just curious.

7) My five-year old nephew is a bit of a prick. Sounds harsh, doesn’t it? Doesn’t diminish my uncle-y love for the kid. I’m just saying that he really knows how to push buttons and he has got a ton of issues regarding appropriate and non-appropriate behavior. He’s also relentless when it comes teasing his cousins, both younger and older. As probably the most physically gifted of the lot, he comes out on top just about all of the time in his tussles with them. But one day they are going to deliver the beat-down that he so rightfully deserves. That’s okay, he’s got it coming. You see, he’s a bit of a prick.

Let me finish up by saying that Slyde is very disappointed in all of you for not coming by as much this month as you have in months past. I blame it on myself for not posting as much, but please feel free to blame Syria. There must be some kind of correlation between their backing of Hezbollah and the low readership of Slyde’s Blog. Right? They’ve just simply got to stop doing this shit!

Editor's Note: We're not experiencing low numbers this month, you tool. We just arent blowing the doors off last months numbers like we have been doing the past 6 months or so. As of yesterday we are actually exactly even with last month.

Sunday, July 16, 2006

For The Geek Who Has Everything

Update: For everyone who complained today and said that they couldn't see the link below, I have moved the movie to YOUTUBE, so all you technological throwbacks still on dialup should be able to view it now.

I don't know why I feel the need to blow all my hard earned money time and again on the latest technological doo-dahs that come out on the market, but I fully admit to it being a sickness of mine. If I see a new gadget in a store, I start to drool over it like a Pavlovian mutt while the rational part of my mind chants over and over again like a mantra how "I don't need to buy that". Without fail, in the end I kick the rational part of my mind to the curb and buy whatever it is that has me in the Rainman-like state in the first place.

Case in point:

I have absolutely NO need for this. But here I sit owning it anyway. It really is a sickness.
For what it's worth, this has made me laugh like Hell all weekend playing around with this thing. That's GOT to count for something, doesn't it?

Maybe not, but right not I don't care too much. When the warm afterglow of newness is over, and I realize how much I just spent on something so NEEDLESS in my life, then I'll curl up in a fetal position on the floor and cry for a bit. Right now I'm too busy laughing my ass off.

 Such A Nerd!

by B.E. Earl

Hey kids! And no…I’m not talking about Slyde. I’m referring to myself, actually. I was watching TV last night and I realized that more and more I am watching the programming on The History Channel and The Discovery Channel. Yes, I know the more enlightened of you have been watching for some time now. But if it wasn’t reality TV, a Yankee game or a good movie, it was likely that I wasn’t going to watch it.

When did that change? When did I become an info-tainment geek? I have no idea, but those two channels have gradually become my daily stomping grounds in the land of cable. Here are some of the fun things that I’ve learned on the boob-tube in the past few weeks:

The Little Ice Age (14th - 19th century) – This was never in any history book I read while I was in school. This period was hi-lighted (in my opinion) by the Year Without a Summer in 1816 following the 1815 eruption of Tambora in Indonesia. Heavy snowfall and frost were reported that year in much of New England and Northern Europe in both June and July! 1816 was also known as the Poverty Year or as Eighteen hundred and froze to death. Many New Englanders, fearing the worst, struck out for the West in an unprecedented move to warmer climates. The wet and cool summer of 1816 forced Mary Shelley, John William Polidori and some of their friends to stay indoors. They invented a writing contest to see who could write the scariest story. The results were Frankenstein by Shelley and The Vampyre by Polidori! How awesome is that?

Saladin ruled! – Muslim warrior and famous enemy of the Crusaders from the 12th century who united the Arab states under his extraordinary military prowess. Saddam Hussein likened himself to a Saladin, often referring to himself as a “modern-day Salah al-Din”. Curious in that Hussein waged a war of genocide against the Kurds in Northern Iraq, while Saladin himself was a Kurd. That, my friends, is how I like my irony served.

Paper crossbows don’t work – Apparently it is nearly impossible to construct a crossbow out of cardboard and paper and use it effectively to escape from prison. Well, I guess I kinda already knew that already. Oh yeah, and a helium-filled football will only travel slightly more than a regular air-filled one.

Asteroids will eventually kill us all! – Large meteors, asteroids or comets have hit the Earth in the past. Some believe that the extinction of the dinosaurs was a result of a large collision with one of these objects. It has happened before, it will happen again! Wait…never mind. I learned that last one from the Charlton Heston introduction to the film Armageddon. See…movies are educational.

Bigfoot was REAL! – Well at least there may be some scientific evidence that both man and a giant ape classified as Gigantopithecus blacki co-existed in Asia around 300,000 years ago. Although tales of its enormous size, largely due to its name, are hard to substantiate, it is possible that this co-habitation led to tales of the Yeti and Bigfoot-type creatures in many mythologies. Neato!

Eureka! I've done it! I've at long last proved the existence of Grape Ape!"

Friday, July 14, 2006

Say Hello To My Little Friend

Have you always wanted to watch the classic Al Pacino movie, Scarface, but never had the time to devote to sitting thru it? Then have I got the link for you, my friends! All you need is 1 minute and 39 seconds, and the handy link below will give you the cliff notes version. This really gave me a chuckle....

Thursday, July 13, 2006

Rest In Peace, Red

Longtime comedian/actor Red Buttons died today, at the age of 87 years old.

Most people my age or younger probably don't even know who Red Buttons is. At best many youngsters might say, "Oh yeah, THAT guy. I know I've seen him somewhere...". And that is really a damn shame....

My father is a huge old movie buff, and it is probably no surprise that my love of cinema was blossomed by my father's influence. I directly hold him responsible for the reason I will stay up and watch TV at 3AM if I happen to see one of the old 30's/40's Basil Rathbone Sherlock Holmes movies on, or one of the even older Sidney Toler Charlie Chans. While other kids were watching Dukes of Hazzard, I was parked in front of the TV with my dad watching Maltese Falcon and old Alfred Hitchcock movies.

So, without question I have my father to thank for my love of Red Buttons. I am not going to go into his extensive list of movies and TV work (I'd like to go to bed SOMETIME tonight, thank you), but if you want to see all he did in his more-than-50-year career, you can check it out HERE.

For the most part, I am a pretty jaded person. I don't let much I hear of in the world affect me to any great degree, but losing a Hollywood icon like Red Buttons really upsets me. He was, from all accounts, an outstanding actor, as well as a real class act.

Being in my 30's, I of course wasn't around for the Golden Age of Hollywood. Most of those icons of yesteryear had long since passed by the time I became even aware of them. But there were three holdouts from that bygone era, that through their work on screen, and through the way they carried themselves in their personal life, that I have always had a great fondness and affection for. I can't say that I even understand this attachment I feel for these three men (it's not like I know any of them, or even met them for that matter), but feel for them I do, and as each one of them passes, I feel a great sadness envelop me as I can't help but feel that that magical age of Tinsletown has just moved a tad further into the annals of a lone gone age....

Three men. Three men who I have always admired for what they are, and what they have done. They are Jimmy Stewart, Red Buttons, and Mickey Rooney.

When Jimmy Stewart passed away in 1997, I remember being so upset that such a talented actor had left us. He was connected to so many of the late great Hollywood actors. I guess I always felt that, through Jimmy, those others long gone were still around, in some admittedly bizarre way.

Now Red has left us, and I again feel that sense of sadness for a man I had never met.
At least we still have Mickey Rooney with us, thank Moses. Every year when I see him sitting proudly at the Academy Awards, it always brings a smile to my face.

Do yourselves a favor tonight and go watch one of the great movies of Mr. Buttons that I linked to above. You just might begin to see what I've been rambling about.

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Lazy Days Of Summer

I love the summer. Always have, and always will.

I’m sure my initial fondness for the season probably started when I was a wee little lad, and the summer months meant an escape from the tyranny of school, lazy days in the pool with my friends, and vacations with my family. Summer is the only time of year when kids really don’t have one damn care in the world.

I remember my mother always used to tell me that her favorite times of year were the Fall, when the leaves would change, and the Spring, when the leaves would start to grow. I also remember looking at her like she was crazy when she said that. “Leaves? I don’t have school for TWO MONTHS! Who gives a fig about leaves????”

Now that I am older, I HAVE begun to appreciate those other seasons for what they have to offer, but I guess I am still too much of a child inside because summer still ranks as number ONE in my book.

Summer has become to mean something else to me, however, as I have gotten older. No, there is no more school to ditch during the summer, and God knows that work sucks just as much in the summer as any other time, but summer still brings me a sense of escape, and fun.

For one thing, I watch almost ZERO TV in the summer. It Sounds like an inconsequential step towards freedom, I know, but when you get hooked on as many shows as I tend to be (Damn you, Reality TV!), television really starts to eat into your free time. Hardly having the TV on during the summer is my first little step on escaping during these months. After the month of May with all the damn 2-hour season finales and such, it actually is a bit jarring to NOT have anything to watch at night. It takes a few weeks to get used to, but it’s a nice change of pace that I will miss come September.

Secondly, I am outside doing SOMETHING every day during the summer (or at least I try to). From chillin’ in my pool, floating around at midnight while plugged into my IPOD, to reading in my hammock, to taking tons of day trips in my convertible, to nightly kite-flying sessions with my son at the local park, to even just sitting outside and watching the sun go down on another hot summer day, I try to infuse the summer months with as much outdoor-ness, and as much fun and relaxation, as I can.

I guess somewhere deep in the back of my thirty-something mind, these simple activities regress me to a simpler, nostalgic era, to a time when my most pressing problem was who’s pool I was going to play in tomorrow.

In short, summer STILL makes me feel like a kid again, even though the days of me BEING a kid have long since passed me by.

Saturday, July 08, 2006

Snakes In The Grass

I know alot of people will have seen THIS before, but Damn It does this make me laugh every time.

For those that haven't seen this, it was from a British game show called Catch Phrase, and in the world of Game Show Bloopers, this one will always be a classic. It just cracks me up every time.

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Rico Suave

Well, it's July 4th here in the good ol' U.S. of A, and we just said our goodbyes to the last of our outdoor BBQ guests that we had here today. Good food, good friends, strong alcohol, and some cool fireworks displays. Overall, a pretty good time.

So after coming down from a good day, what better way than to end things than to rip into someone...........

This news is a tad old, but anyway, thanks to one of my best internet buds in the universe ANNA, for sending me THIS link earlier in the week.

Yeah, I laughed my ass off for 20 minutes when I first read that too. Take your time and compose yourself. I can wait......

Better now? Good.

Anyway, long time Slydesbloggers will know that I have a soft spot for Mr. Knight Rider, because he's just so damn cool. And this story just might be the coolest of his career.
Things that I LOVE about this story:

- Hasselhof hit his head on a chandelier. Excuse me? Was he wearing stilts? How the frig do you hit your head on a chandelier?

- This happened when he was shaving at a gym. A GYM? You show me a gym that has a Damn Chandelier hanging in it, and I will show you a building that is in desperate need to be carpet bombed. Don't even get me started that he was SHAVING at the time. Shaving, which implies he was in the locker room. A chandelier in the LOCKER ROOM? Where does he work out, the Palace of Versais?

- After hitting his head and breaking the chandelier, pieces of glass somehow managed to achieve a velocity fast enough to go ripping thru his tendons. Let's see.... he broke the chandelier with his head, but by the time the glass fell 2 feet to his hand, it was moving at Warp Factor 5? How the Hell does that happen?

The whole thing just sounds fishy to me. I can't be the only one, either...

Anyway, Here's hoping all my friends out there in the Cyberverse are having a happy Independence Day. Don't go an lose any fingers playing with fireworks, now. It totally ruins your blogging abilities......

Saturday, July 01, 2006

Hold Onto Your Hats!

Just wanted to let everyone know that sometime tonight/tomorrow I will be again archiving the current posts and starting fresh. I am trying something new which COULD wipe out our archived message boards (which everyone seems to concur, suck). Anyway, I just wanted to give everyone a heads up in case I screw it up. That way I can at least save a little face by saying I had thought that COULD happen.

Edit: What did I just tell ya? Looks like I made the forum fall down and go boom. It's back up, but our old comments look to be lost. Does anyone care about that but me? Probably not.

Things That Mean Nothing - June 2006

First off: In case anyone didn't see my message from yesterday, I archived the last 3 months of articles (you can see them in the Archives section), but while doing so, ended up deleting all the message boards. Kinda sucks, but them's the breaks. I wonder if ever has technical difficulties like this. probably not.


It's that time again, where I treat you all to the fabtabulous listing of items people searched the web for, and ended up finding Slydesblog, for the month of June.

Let's get right to it....

pauley -Name Removed - pics
pauley -Name Removed - naked
pauley -Name Removed - nude
pauley -Name Removed - nude pics
chris daugtry
chris daugtry record
brenna gethers pics
abby sciuto pictures
actresses naked pics
blogs rant and rave
blonde hot tub naked pics
blue agave weber wanted in australia
bob beauchamp
cute poolboy pics
kim director naked
mandisa porn pics
my slyde
naked eva mendez pics
naked honeymoon pics

My analysis:

- Internet perverts hoping against hope to see some naked pics of Pauley -Name Removed - continue to swarm the site. I mean, we got HUNDREDS of hits on her this month alone. Earl mentioned earlier in the month that I should probably stop mentioning the hits we keep getting on Pauley -Name Removed - naked, using the logic that if we stop referring to it, the influx of people coming here looking for it will finally start to taper off. I decided to listen to Earl on this one and stop mentioning Pauley Perrett naked, and then I decided to NOT listen to Earl and mention Pauley -Name Removed - naked any Damn time I feel like it. If people keep coming here looking for it, then so be it. Pauley -Name Removed - naked! Pauley -Name Removed - naked! Pauley -Name Removed - naked! So there!

- The people who came here looking for "actesses naked pics" really need to be more discriminating. You mean you are up for ANY actress naked? So Bea Arthur naked will do? What kind of sick fetish is that? Pick somebody, for God's sakes! Anybody! Just how damn lazy are you people?

- Ditto for "naked honeymoon pics". Anyone's honemoon? Really? How about Star Jones' Honeymoon? I think she had it at the local Taco Bell.

- If someone can explain to me what the Hell "blue agave weber wanted in Australia" means, please, I'm all ears.....

- To whoever was looking for "my slyde", that's so sweet. You just made be blush :)

- "cute poolboy pics?". Earl, I told you to stop searching for that garbage. How many damn poolboys do you need, anyway?

- And finally, "Mandisa Porn pics"????? Blech! Although it's a neck and neck race, I think I'd rather spy the poolboy pics if you still have 'em Earl.....

There were some other searches, but honestly they were pretty sick and twisted, so I yanked them from the list. The kind of people who were looking for THAT kind of stuff (it was illegal, immoral and repulsive, trust me) I CAN do without.

That's it for this month folks. Again a HUGE thank you! SLYDESBLOG almost DOUBLED our daily visitors for the month of June!!! That is HUGE! We are now standing proudly with 7 consecutive months of increased readership.

For all of my new friends linking to me, visiting here, and generally spreading the word... thanks a bunch! It's mucho appreciated!